True Weight Loss Success Goal is NOT to Lose Weight

I know it sounds like I am quite confused, because I know that all of us on the weight loss journey want to lose weight, or keep off the weight we have already lost. So how can I say that true weight loss success goal is NOT to lose weight?

Easy.

Because it is not.

At least not entirely.

The best measure of weight loss success is not the weekly or monthly results of pounds lost, therefore it stands to reason that those pounds should not be the goal either.

The best measure of our success is our long-term results. Yes, that does include the pounds of fat that we dropped on the side of the road during the journey, but it goes so much further than that.

While we are shedding fat we also want to be increasing our muscle and improving our lung capacity. A toned, energetic, healthy body is the best measure (and goal) of weight loss success.

Don’t focus so hard on losing pounds…they are too easily found again! Put your attention on the true weight loss success goals—improved health, increased mobility, better flexibility, increased strength, greater endurance, feeling better physically and emotionally, added energy, increased confidence, and an appreciation for your own worth.

Weight Loss Success Comes from Small Changes Not Massive Overhaul

When we want to drop pounds we often think we have to make massive changes in our lives.

That thought alone is often enough to keep us stuck. We don't want to have to make these big, radical adjustments. Change can be scary and truth be told...it is hard to do.

It isn't will power, either. We are genetically programmed to follow routine. Oh there are some people who roll with change better than others. And there are areas that we may be okay with change and upheaval and other areas where the thought of change induces stress. And for most of us with weight loss challenges, changing our food and exercise routines seems like it is changing our entire lives. After all the time, energy and focus of our lives often revolves around food--the choosing, buying, preparing, cleaning up after on top of the eating of it.

To have weight loss success we do not have to make huge adjustments. In fact success is guaranteed if you focus on making small, small, small (did I say small?) changes that you can absolutely stick to.

How many times have you promised to "be good" and stick to this or that diet? And how many times did it work for a while, maybe a day or couple of days or even weeks...only to come crashing down on you because you just couldn't keep it up? That's what I thought.

That's because you tried to make too big a change. I know. I've done it too. Often.

That's why I finally declared I Refuse To Diet!!! And that made the difference.

Sure I've made changes in my eating, I make healthier choices more consistently. But I'm not perfect--and I don't have to be! And I didn't start off with radical shifts. I started off with a very small, laughably small change that I new would be simple to keep. In fact, it was so easy that part of me thought it wasn't worthy and it would take forever to lose the excess pounds! But I knew I had tried the other methods in the past and while I might have had short-term success it all came rebounding back like I had a homing beacon glued to my thighs.

So I started small. And it worked! So I added another small change. And so, and so on. In the process I have rebuilt my health; I lost almost 100 pounds in a single year; I can do more and more every day.

The irony was that when I thought 1-2 pounds a week was too slow and I had to find a faster way to lose weight, I stayed stuck as a morbidly obese person. Once I took the focus off the weight loss and instead focused on healthy choices (and deciding that I deserved a healthy body) the weight started to drop off.

Now when I hit a point where I am struggling, I go back to the basics. Where is my attitude and what small change can I make that I can stick to?

Weight Loss Success Tip: Don't Aim for Perfection

How many times have I been on a diet, blown it--even just a little, and decided that because I wasn't perfect on the diet it wasn't worth sticking to? More times than I can count!

What irritates me is the holier than thou attitude some dieters have, that you MUST be perfect, you MUST deprive yourself. This idea of diet martyrdom is ridiculous.

And then there are the people who will tell you that you must not really want to achieve health and fitness if you can't stick to a diet.

The truth is, diets don't work--not in the long-run. Diets are meant to be temporary. If you have a few pounds to lose then maybe a diet will work for you. If you have temporarily gained a few pounds then sure, you can cut back and the pounds will probably come right off.

If you have a serious weight problem, one that has lasted for years, one that has had you on the diet roller coaster, then it is time to get off the ride. I mean, are you having fun on that attraction?

Instead of the yo-yoing up and down that diets provide we need to focus on our health and figure out what we can do today--even if it is only for today that will help us move forward towards improved health.

Some days we will be able to handle a lot. Other days we might only be able to take a step or two towards health. And frankly, there will be days when you probably take a step back. That is not failure--that is LIFE! This is not a reality television show--there's not a camera filming everything you eat, there's not a coach yelling at you and pushing you to work out 6 hours a day. So give yourself a break and do what you can.

Hope Skeen is a local freshman in high school and she had some remarkably sage words about setting goals. At her age I was set on trying to be perfect...boy is she light-years ahead of me!

In our society today, there is a pressing need to be perfect and to compare yourself to other people we perceive to be perfect...I believe that most new year's resolutions reflect this issue.

Hmmm...this goes hand in hand with yesterday's post that weight loss resolutions suck. Hope continued and cited the stats on how many of us create resolutions and that after the first week 1/4 of them are already broken and by February over 1/3 are dead in the water. Not a good track record...so why model your behavior on failure? Diets fail. Resolutions fail. OK, move on!

...low statistics are because we're setting resolutions in an attempt to achieve perfection...

Think about what you want to achieve...what you SAY you want to achieve. Can you get there only by demanding perfection? Or are you trying to achieve perfection? If you are then sit back a bit and re-evaluate and reflect on this wise young woman's words:

What's the use of setting goals you cannot reach? Eventually you will realize that this goal isn't getting accomplished and you will forget about it.

Now, take a look at your life. See what is good about it. It is important to recognize what you are doing right. No one can be perfect--neither perfectly good nor perfectly bad. We all fall somewhere in the middle on the scale. Focus on what your strengths are. Write them down.

Once you have a list of your strengths you can come up with some aspects of your life that you want to improve--not to make that aspect or you perfect...small changes that you can make...just to be a better human being. Being better, being healthier...these are things we can do.

"Better" allows us to be human and gives us room to improve in the future!

Thanks Hope for your wise words, and in closing are a few more:

Don't try to meet everyone else's expectations, but try to be the best you can be and let everyone else worry about being perfect.

Pain Management and Weight Loss Success

Recently I wrote about pain and how I had been letting my physical pain keep me from working out as much as I normally would.

Maybe I'm naive but I was surprised that this concept would stir up any sort of controversy! But, I got messages from people who think maybe my pain isn't real or that I'm dismissing people who are in chronic pain.

Since that is certainly not the case, I thought I'd follow up with some information I read this weekend about ways to reduce your pain...because I DO know that being in pain can seriously hinder our ability and willingness to move our bodies...and even to eat right. When we are in pain (physical or emotional) we seek comfort and sometimes food gives us that comfort, albeit temporary, and we can then ADD to our pain by increasing our physical weight.

This comes from Doctors Oz and Roizen...the title is "Mindfulness meditation conquers stubborn pain" (Click the title if you want to see the entire article)

people who meditated for just 20 minutes a day saw their pain tolerance rise

Meditation doesn't work because your pain is "all in your head." Chronic pain is all too real...When pain won't quit, stress and worry kick in, boosting levels of stress hormones, which tricks your brain into thinking the pain is worse than it is.

De-stressing with meditation or similar mind/body techniques dials back stress hormones which in turn diminishes pain.

meditation eased pain by helping your brain to stop anticipating it...Less stress and less pain also can mean better sleep, more motivation to exercise and even less depression, all of which also make you relax more and hurt less.

So how do you do it? Here are 3 different methods to try from the good doctors:

First, find a quiet place where you can sit or lie down for 10-15 minutes

Mindfulness meditation:

• Close your eyes to help you stay focused
• Breathe in and out slowly & naturally
• Acknowledge your thoughts, feelings and the physical sensations in your body but don't get wrapped up in them
• Keep gently returning your focus to your breathing
• After 10 minutes begin to notice your surroundings as you breathe calmly
• Then plan to go about your day with this feeling of calm awareness

Guided Imagery:
This technique works by distracting you and helps ease pain similarly to meditation.

• Shut your eyes and imagine an idyllic "happy place"
• Use all of your sense to put yourself in that place
• Remember scents, colors, the air, mood, anything that makes it come alive
• Stay there, relax and enjoy

Progressive Muscle Relaxation:

• Breathe slowly from your abdomen
• Isolate and tighten each muscle group without straining for 7-10 seconds
• Release the muscles abruptly
• Rest 15-20 seconds
• Start with your fists
• Move to your forearms, biceps, face, neck, shoulders, upper back, chest, stomach, lower back, buttocks, thighs, lower legs, feet.

Hope that helps...practice mindful meditation and reduce your pain...if that weren't good enough all by itself, it will help with your weight loss success!

Life and Loss: Does Our Weight Really Matter?

As I ponder the loss of a dear friend this week thoughts race across my mind and heart. Adding to the jumble was the news of the death of a fabulous local sculptor. The two losses combined and helped forge my feelings and thoughts on where our weight rates in the grand scheme of things.

I suppose the answer could be "not at all," but in truth, that is not accurate...

While the number on the scale is not important in and of itself, the idea or concept behind that number does indeed have some merit...if only as a measure of where we are relative to where we want to be.

My friend Faye moved away a couple of years ago due to be closer to her daughter and grandchildren. We pledged visits that never came to pass and so Faye has not seen much of my physical transformation. She would be pleased at the result, not because of any aesthetic or societal reasons...although she was truly a Southern Lady and of quite a delicate build...but because she recognized that our physical body reflects the condition of our mind as well as her desire for ideal health for all her loved ones.

It would be easy for me to drown my sorrows in gallons of ice cream...and indeed I lifted a pint last night...but thankfully, the demon of food addiction seems to be tamed and I have awoken today quite satisfied and not needing, nor wanting, to start my day with sugar just because I ended yesterday that way. Not so long ago I would not have been able to say that.

The point behind today's ramble is that I recognize the purpose of life is to live it. Our weight only matters in how it allows us to, or prevents us from, living it to the best of our abilities.

When I was over 300 pounds I was so addicted to food that it consumed my life as much as I consumed it! It colored my world, invading my thoughts, affecting my vision both literally and figuratively.

Now that I am of "normal" weight and I am free of that prison I can see that other things can still keep me from living my best life if I allow it to happen. Whether it is watching television, working too hard, worrying about other people and not paying attention to myself...if these things keep me from experiencing joy and contributing to the best of my ability then these are not health activities either.

Just like we must eat to live, we must also make money to pay the bills and we must take care of our homes and our families. For many of us, we have pushed our own lives and feelings aside...or down...with food...smothering our fears with gravy, drowning our sadness with hot fudge, burying our worries with chips...

We deserve to break this cycle and emerge from the prison that we have created and learn to express our feelings and live our lives...which is more than paying bills and tending to others. First and foremost we must take care of ourselves...until we do that, we will not be able to give the greatest gift we can to our friends, our children, our spouses, our communities...and that gift is US.

Each of us is unique and that is a good thing. Let us remember to let our unique light shine in the world. No one else can glow in the same way we can...and we do not serve the world by trying to be just like another. So, let us lose weight not because we "should"...but because we truly desire to be our best selves and because we know we deserve to be healthy and energetic...

Don't worry about the number on the scale. Decide "where you want to go"...in other words, what do you want to be able to accomplish in this life that perhaps you cannot do right now because of your weight and health?

• Decide who you want to be
  
• Focus on that goal and become that person on the inside.
• See yourself doing those things you dream about.
• Take small steps to achieve that dream every day.
• If you fall short some days, remember that is just part of the journey.

Love yourself through this process and you will succeed. You will lose weight if that is your goal...and you will be able to keep it off. Like me, you may toss back a pint now and again, and realize that you can do it and not have it result in a week or month or year long binge.

To your healthy, energetic, slender body--you deserve it!

Biggest Loser: Congrats Danny

Congratulations to Danny, the winner of this season's The Biggest Loser television show.

This finale show was a fantastic summary of a long journey...a journey where people begin a new life...and one that is really just the beginning.

There were so many incredible weight loss stories this season and it came down to two Goliaths--Danny and Rudy. Both men lost well over 200 pounds and are barely recognizable as the same person.

This is something that is quite a feat, and ALL the participants are to be congratulated. Some people had less weight to lose and the chance of them "winning" the competition was pretty slim...but they have all proven they are winners...they have what it takes--they are all weight loss success stories!

We can all learn from them. It doesn't matter if we are 20 years old or grandmothers...we CAN lose weight if we make our health a priority and change our mindset.

You don't have to make drastic changes...you can make smaller changes and be just as effective in the long run.

Let these folks be your weight loss inspiration...let them inspire YOU to take control of your life. One of the most impactful moments for me was when the show physician spoke about how Shay and Daniel have literally added decades to their lives because of their weight loss success!

To YOUR healthy, energetic, slender body--you can have it--and you deserve it!

Give the Best Holiday Gift

Not sure what to give your family this holiday season?

Want to give them something really special? A gift they will truly enjoy for years to come...one that is unique, filled with love...a gift that will keep on giving?

Then I have the answer!

The absolutely, positively, best gift you can give them this holiday is YOU!

If you give them the gift of a healthy and happy you, then you are actually giving them four gifts in one: You, Money, Fun, and them...okay, that seems a bit convoluted, so let's start with the first gift and then go on from there!

By achieving and maintaining a healthy weight you will live longer and be healthier during those years. People who are obese have been shown to die younger...the good news is that being obese now is not an early death sentence IF you start and make changes to improve your health NOW.

In addition, obese people tend to be sicker and have more serious health issues--from needing more surgeries, having sleep apnea, to diseases like diabetes...and even cancer. So, even if you live a long life, relatively speaking, the chances are good that it won't be a healthy one.

Make a decision today that you are worth having around! Be there for your kids, your spouse, your grandkids, your parents, your siblings...your friends and neighbors, too. And not only be there, have the energy you deserve to fully participate in their lives. They will thank you for it!

YOU. A healthy YOU. Your weight loss success...that is the best gift you can give your family...today, this holiday season, and for the rest of your healthy, energetic life!

Come back tomorrow when we talk about how taking care of your health will also be a monetary gift to your family!

Oh My Aching...Weight Loss Tips

Do you have any body parts that ache once in a while? How about most of the time? How about all the time?

Truth is, if you are extremely overweight you probably do. And if you don't (yet) then you will, unless you do something about it. Consider losing weight as a way to improve your health...and have fewer aches and pains.

So while you are working on your health and fitness, be sure you take care of your body.

I had 3 knee surgeries, so those are obviously issues for me. Knees are a common pain spot for overweight people. No wonder. There is a lot of pressure placed on these joints. Painful feet are also a common complaint. With painful knees and/or feet it can seem like a challenge to exercise, but there are options that won't stress your joints.

Of course swimming is one option...but a lot of people who are overweight are shy about appearing in public in a swimming suit. While I encourage you to go to a pool, I know not everyone will.

Why are swimming pools great places to exercise? The water is buoyant, so you feel lighter, there is less pressure on those aching joints. The water also provides resistance against your movement...so even if you can't swim, you can get a really good work out in a pool just by walking in the water. Check out your local pools...they may have classes in water aerobics, water walking, or swimming...and some will even have special classes for the obese. Pools with these special classes may offer them at times when the pool is closed to the regular public. If you can't find a program like that in your area and it sounds like something you'd be interested in, contact your pool manager and ask about the possibility.

But you don't have to get all wet to get gentle exercises in...isometric exercises are another option that is easy on the joints while building muscle. If you missed it, earlier this week I got some great tips from a personal trainer on isometric exercises

I also had problems with my back...hmmm, do I think that maybe the extra weight I was carrying in front might have had a little to do with that? I sure do...and do exercises to strengthen my abs may help, but they don't reduce the stomach. Yes, your abdomen is your back's back, so making it stronger will help your back, but you also want to stretch your back. The best tip for an aching back that makes you want to not exercise...keep moving! Even if you have to move while laying on your bed or sitting on the couch. Start wherever you are. Every little bit that you move will help.

Look, it is never too late to lose weight and gain health. You can't be too old. You can't be too heavy. You don't have to exercise like a fiend...it is small changes that yield big results over time.

While you are making these changes, take care of yourself. Take care of your feet. Stretch. Take warm showers and baths. Get massages once in a while. Your body is working hard just carrying you around...be kind to it. You want to prevent injury...that is one of the biggest reasons to take things slow if you haven't been working out in a while. Injuries will keep you out for a long time and can really set you back...so start small.

And on days when you just don't feel like exercising at all...just do 1 minute. If you are doing okay after that then do one more. Even if you only do a couple 1 minutes exercise "breaks" scattered throughout the day...if you are doing a few more minutes than you did before then you are taking steps in the right direction!

Weight Loss Success Good for Knees

I have had 3 knee surgeries...yes, that means two on one knee, not that I have 3 knees. I knew that being obese was bad for my knees...the excess weight put a lot of pressure on these joints.

I didn't allow this to stop me from getting out there and doing things. Well, that's not really true. There were things I couldn't do...and certainly things that I couldn't do as easily as a person of "normal" weight...but I did go out and do a lot of things.

Well, a new study is looking into why some people are losing cartilage in their knees and it appears that having a high BMI (body mass index) may be a risk factor.

Obesity is already known to increase risk for heart problems and osteoarthritis...and it makes sense that because of the extra weight it might be a risk factor for decreasing the cartilage in our knees.

Dr. Frank Roemer of Boston University is the study's lead author and he notes regarding cartilage loss, "Weight loss is probably the most important factor to slow disease progression."

Once the knee cartilage is gone, then you are looking at wearing down the bone...that is very painful and can lead ultimately to needing knee replacement surgery. I don't know about you, but I'd like to avoid pain and surgery whenever possible. Not only that, most surgeons won't do a knee replacement operation on obese patients.

In addition to the cartilage loss, the overweight patients in the study were more prone to tearing the meniscus and other joint-related problems.

Weight loss success results in lowering your BMI...and the high BMI is the only demographic feature that consistently predicted the cartilage loss.

So if you were looking for yet another reason to drop excess weight, you can do it to save your knees.