It's OK to Refuse to Diet

I just read another blogger's post giving us permission to Refuse to Diet...since he was touting "my" line I of course had to read his take on it.

His site is more about exercise, but he admits that most people can't fit in an hour every day--a realist in that regard. He also mentions that counting calories isn't the answer...after all

let's be real, you won't be able to count calories for the rest of your life.

Yes, I agree moving your body is important for your health, and yes I agree you don't have to exercise an hour ever day, and yes I do not believe counting calories (or fat grams or carbs) is the answer. So while we are on the same page so far, that is where our paths start to diverge.

The answer from this guy is the typical mathematical equation...eat less and move more. Not bad advice, it just isn't really the answer. Real weight loss success (by that I mean the permanent kind...not just another roller coaster ride down a size and up two) is determined by our mindset, not the stuff we put in our mouths or what we do with our bodies. It starts with what we put in our minds!

This guy's solution?

be careful what you eat after 4 p.m. and don't overeat. Eat until you get comfortable and not until you get full.

Said like someone who has never had a weight or eating problem!

If you only have a couple pounds to lose, or if you have a temporary weight gain then losing weight can be a simple formula...but if you have carried excess weight most of your life despite your efforts at dieting...or if you weight a significant amount over a healthy amount...then "being careful" to not overeat is waaaaaaay too much of a simplification.

I will say I like this guy's low impact exercises, so go ahead and check him out at http://www.guampdn.com

Low impact exercises are so important when you are just starting out or if you have a lot of weight to lose. Face it, if you are carrying 40, 50, 100 or more extra pounds that is already a lot of impact. Definitely check out isometric and other low impact exercises but also be sure to just move in any way you can...whatever YOUR body will allow. Do it for your health, and yes, it will help you to lose weight too.

Yes, by all means, Refuse to Diet...but don't set arbitrary rules like be careful what you eat after 4pm or don't eat after 7pm unless you believe that is something you can keep up with 80% of the time for the rest of your life! I use 80% as my benchmark because I know there will always be exceptions (life happens, you know what I mean?) Besides, arbitrary rules are...well, arbitrary. They don't take into account YOUR life, your abilities and your lifestyle.

Start with your mind...figure out why you want to lose weight, recognize what may be holding you back...and become a conscious eater. Engage your mind and you WILL lose weight.

If you want specific tools to help you figure this out, check out my book, Refuse To Diet, available on Amazon. And if you have any questions about the worksheets that I developed to help me in my 125 pound weight loss journey let me know...I'd love to help!

Corn Sugar No Better for Weight Loss Success

Oh give me a break! The Corn Refiners Association is trying to pull one on the American public.

Apparently we have gotten smart about recognizing high-fructose corn syrup as bad for us and our weight loss efforts--and general health goals-- and they are feeling the heat.

But rather than make a healthier product (no that would cost them money) they have petitioned the FDA to change the name to "corn sugar"....

A rose by any other name would smell sweet...we're not talking about roses...but this sweet super simple carbohydrate will be just as toxic no matter what they call it.

Keep your eyes and ears out folks! And stay healthy.

How Long WIll I Use This Excuse to Overeat?

A few years ago the question I asked myself was this:

How long will I allow my father's death to be the latest excuse for being fat?

The answer that came back to me was NO LONGER.

That started my journey to become healthy in earnest...and I dropped 125 lbs...in about a year.


Today the question I am asking myself is:

How long will I allow my mother's LIFE to be my latest excuse to overeat?

While I'm not 125 pounds overweight any longer, I recognize that emotional eating is a large part of what got me there...and could get me right back there if I allow it.

It is completely up to me to decide if I want to remain healthy or not. And if I do, then I must reaffirm my goals of feeling good about myself and being a conscious eater.

My mother is having some health issues that are stressful for the family...and I want to help and yet when I found myself grabbing food and not really tasting it as it went down I had a deja vu kind of light bulb moment.

I must continue to make MY health the #1 priority in my life. After all, if I don't make it a priority then who will? I also have to accept that I don't have control over my mom...what she does, or does not choose to do regarding her health. I can offer help and then I have to let it go.

This is a big challenge that a lot of women face. Guys too of course, but generally speaking more women are in the caregiver role then men are...

You may be caring for a child, an aging parent, an ill spouse, a friend or sibling...or perhaps you are a caregiver by profession. No matter who you are caring for, it is so important that we remember our primary responsibility is to ourselves.

I know this sounds selfish. I was brought up that we put ourselves last...and I was brought up to be obese! No coincidence. We have to challenge that training and retrain ourselves to believe in our own worth.

So I'm reminding myself to give up the excuses...there is ALWAYS an excuse if you let there be one. I intend to remember to love myself...and that includes choosing ways other than eating to deal with my emotions most of the time...and to be gentle on myself on the occasions when I choose to overeat anyway!

Do You Hate Yourself Because You Are Fat?

If you hate yourself because you are fat, then you are not alone. Millions of folks in this country...more female than male, but not restricted to any gender...do not like the way our bodies look. We've been taught that "we" are our bodies...and therefore, if we do not like the ways our bodies look then we do not like ourselves.

What I've found is that while we THINK we hate our bodies (and therefore ourselves) because we are fat, the inverse is actually true: We are fat because we hate ourselves and our bodies.

I know this flies in the face of conventional, scientific wisdom...so if this is news to you, realize that you are not alone in your beliefs and that I am not alone in this way of thinking. From weight loss pros like Geneen Roth to spiritual teachers like Abraham more and more folks are coming on board to this idea.

Do we become fat because we eat too much and/or move our bodies too little. Yes and no. Do we stay overweight because we eat too much and/or move our bodies too little. Again, yes and no...

It isn't about what we eat or how much we eat. It is more about why we eat and how we feel about ourselves and what we eat.

The better we feel about ourselves the more healthy we tend to eat. When we love and respect ourselves and our bodies we are better able to listen to our body and to take care of it and eat what it needs in order to be at its most healthy state. Sometimes this may be MORE than what we were eating before. Sometimes it may be less. Sometimes it may be different foods, other times it will be about when we eat.

One of the biggest challenges that we face is to learn to love and appreciate ourselves. Right now. No matter what our size is. No matter what we just ate.

Instead what we typically do is say we will love our bodies (and ourselves) when we've lost 5 pounds (or 50 or whatever the magic number is for you.) Sometimes our love is even more conditional than that...not only do we require weight loss to be deserving of our love, we require it in a specific time frame!

Sometimes we aren't aware that we are restricting our love...we just think we will be happier, more popular, more athletic, more __ (you fill in the blank)...but no matter what that "more" is, if we need to lose weight in order to experience it then we inherently feel we are "less" than enough...not good enough...somehow inferior...and all those feelings are about lack of love.

Hating our bodies is a complete waste of our time and energy. Nothing good comes from hate. It does not motivate us for permanent weight loss...it only perpetuates itself.

If you want to have true weight loss success...healthy, natural and permanent...then it starts with learning to love yourself.

Love Is In the Air

It is fall and it is time for us to "go back to school" and learn to love ourselves.

Loving ourselves is crucial to attaining our health and fitness goals...we just cannot have permanent weight loss success if we hate our bodies, and by extension, ourselves.

Tall order I know. We have loads of practice hating ourselves. We deserve to cut ourselves a little slack and not expect to have overnight results.

We won't change from loathing ourselves to loving ourselves overnight any more than we will be 300 pounds one day and 150 pounds the next.

Both changes take time...but if we change the first one the second will naturally follow.

I developed a technique that helped me to learn to love myself...to be able to actually look myself in the eye and say, "I love you Laurie" and not feel like a big, fat liar!

I reveal this technique in my book, Refuse to Diet: Weight Loss Success Starts with Your Mind...Not Your Mouth and in this month's topic on my website RefuseToDiet.com

I hope you'll join me as autumn brings out the bounty of love...and teaches us that small changes bring us big rewards in health, happiness and the slender bodies we deserve!