Since Valentines Day is about love we tend to shower our loved ones with sweet gifts--often literally filled with sugar and other things that maybe aren't in our best interests. So a sweet gift can easily turn sour--if it is received in the wrong way.
I'm not one to say you can't have sugar ever...and I for one have no intention of giving up chocolate entirely. In fact, I don't believe in having a list of "forbidden foods" because I know how that just makes us psychologically just want it even more.
However, buying sweets simply because it is Valentines Day is less about a conscious, love-filled gift and more about a marketing ploy.
What does Valentines Day really mean to you? Is it about feeling loved by a significant other or by family members? Will you feel loved if you receive a card? a phone call? a nice dinner out? a box of chocolates? a dozen roses? a diamond necklace?
Let your loved one know how you will feel special on this special day--and other ones, too. Unless you let people know what YOU want then you will be subject to what they THINK you want...and those thoughts are generally influenced by marketing efforts from companies who are selling things that they want you to believe will make you happy.
Don't expect people to be able to read your mind--as much as they love you and no matter how long they have been in your life. If you are trying to lose weight and having chocolates around will make it harder for you to make healthy choices so you'd rather not have them in the house--let your voice be heard. On the other hand, if NOT receiving chocolates will make you feel deprived then your loved ones deserve to know that, too!
This is about asking for the kind of support that works for YOU, because each of us operates just a little bit differently based on our biology and more importantly based on our upbringing--all the messages we got growing up.
It can be hard for others to know what we want when we have declared we are intending to lose weight. Will they be accused of trying to sabotage our efforts if they buy us candy? Will they be accused not loving us if they do?
Instead of leaving them guessing and risking buying us a gift that was intending to be loving but leaves us with a sour feeling, figure out what you would like and ask for what you want. This is an excellent exercising for us to express our desires. It is something that most of us are not really good at. Sometimes we aren't good at asking for it because we don't think we are worth it...we are so good at putting others first that it is hard for us to accept that we can be first. Sometimes it is hard for us to ask because we've bought into the idea that "they should just know what I want" even though that is often a moving target! We might not even be aware of what we want--so how the heck can we expect someone else to figure it out???
If you really love chocolate but know that more than one piece sets you off on a binge...then maybe you request a piece of really, really special chocolate from a fancy store rather than a box of ho-hum chocolates from Wal-green's. For me, a really good piece of chocolate allows me to savor it and appreciate it and make a conscious choice about eating it, whereas a big box of chocolate tends to send off physical and mental cravings and before I know it I have eaten way more than I intended.
Or if you aren't a chocoholic like me and can keep it in the house, then be sure to specify what you like so that when you do choose to indulge you get the absolute best satisfaction. In other words, if you love the dark chocolate caramels then you don't want a box filled with milk chocolate creams! You might eat them, but you won't have that same satisfaction, so eat what you really love. You'll actually end up consuming less!
If you don't want chocolates around then think of other gifts that you'd prefer. They don't have to be expensive gifts like jewelry or short-lived ones like flowers (although those are nice, too!) Sometimes the best gifts are inexpensive like a homemade card or a poem. Always the sweetest gifts are the ones that are thought-full: a great book for a reader, a journal for a writer, a photo in a nice frame for the desk at work, a compilation of favorite songs for your ipod for relaxation or working out to...or having the car cleaned, serviced and tires rotated for the busy commuter!
The bottom line is we must learn to love ourselves enough to know that we deserve our health and happiness--and gifts that we really want. So we must love ourselves enough to learn to express our needs.
Showing posts with label loving oneself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loving oneself. Show all posts
Monday, February 14, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Weight Loss Challenge: Immediate Pleasure vs I Know Better
I've mentioned recently how I think setting New Year's resolutions sucks, we'll now I actually have some science to back up my beliefs. Love it when that happens!
Strike one against our efforts to lose weight...big surprise: we like sweets! Turns out humans are genetically built to prefer sweeter tasting foods than bitter ones. This was good for procreation and safety as more bitter tasting foods were poisonous than sweet ones. Survival of the fittest (or sweetest) at work--those who didn't eat the poison survived.
We also get a hit of dopamine when we eat foods that we enjoy...dopamine is a pleasure-sensing hormone and it reinforces the pleasure aspect of eating those foods. So every time we eat something that tastes super yummy we get a hit of dopamine and so we want it even more.
So we like sweets and then foods that taste really good give us a brain buzz.
This double whammy makes it really hard to break a habit. We may have really good intentions (like setting a resolution) but this dopamine hit is more than just a bad habit...it actually hard-wires us to want the substance, even when we have a better reward in the future. So much for willpower!
So it is a showdown between our intellect and our biology. Dr Nora Volkow is an authority on the brain's pleasure sensing pathway and she says this is why unhealthy actions become habits and why they are so hard to break.
Not only are habits hard to break, for some reason we think we will be able to handle temptation better than we really can.
Loran Norgren is a psychologist at Northwestern University's Kellogg School of Management and in their studies they have documented that people who put more obstacles between themselves and the temptation have a much better success rate at not giving in. They have also shown that people tend to overestimate their ability to withstand the temptation...and that leads to their downfall.
Lessons from this?
Immediate pleasure is a powerful thing--and certainly not all bad (that procreation thing, remember But in our effort to lose weight, sometimes we need to put a little distance between ourselves and our food temptation. At least until we can unwire our brains.
Another thing we can do to help us overcome the pull of that immediate pleasure is to be very aware of when we eat and why. Reducing emotional reasons and environmental stimulation really helps. Don't go to the grocery store hungry for one. And don't stock up on your favorite treats to test yourself...studies show odds are you will "not be the biggest loser" if you get my drift.
As far as I am concerned learning to really love ourselves is one of the biggest weapons we have against the pull of immediate pleasure. When we love ourselves we naturally want to take care of our bodies and eat healthier foods. It doesn't mean that we will never want a treat, it does mean that we will be less inclined to have to binge over it. And if we do binge, we will be better able to forgive ourselves and move on.
In the meantime, loving ourselves might just mean putting some distance between a food we love and the bodies we love, at least temporarily!
Strike one against our efforts to lose weight...big surprise: we like sweets! Turns out humans are genetically built to prefer sweeter tasting foods than bitter ones. This was good for procreation and safety as more bitter tasting foods were poisonous than sweet ones. Survival of the fittest (or sweetest) at work--those who didn't eat the poison survived.
We also get a hit of dopamine when we eat foods that we enjoy...dopamine is a pleasure-sensing hormone and it reinforces the pleasure aspect of eating those foods. So every time we eat something that tastes super yummy we get a hit of dopamine and so we want it even more.
So we like sweets and then foods that taste really good give us a brain buzz.
This double whammy makes it really hard to break a habit. We may have really good intentions (like setting a resolution) but this dopamine hit is more than just a bad habit...it actually hard-wires us to want the substance, even when we have a better reward in the future. So much for willpower!
So it is a showdown between our intellect and our biology. Dr Nora Volkow is an authority on the brain's pleasure sensing pathway and she says this is why unhealthy actions become habits and why they are so hard to break.
Not only are habits hard to break, for some reason we think we will be able to handle temptation better than we really can.
Loran Norgren is a psychologist at Northwestern University's Kellogg School of Management and in their studies they have documented that people who put more obstacles between themselves and the temptation have a much better success rate at not giving in. They have also shown that people tend to overestimate their ability to withstand the temptation...and that leads to their downfall.
Lessons from this?
Immediate pleasure is a powerful thing--and certainly not all bad (that procreation thing, remember But in our effort to lose weight, sometimes we need to put a little distance between ourselves and our food temptation. At least until we can unwire our brains.
Another thing we can do to help us overcome the pull of that immediate pleasure is to be very aware of when we eat and why. Reducing emotional reasons and environmental stimulation really helps. Don't go to the grocery store hungry for one. And don't stock up on your favorite treats to test yourself...studies show odds are you will "not be the biggest loser" if you get my drift.
As far as I am concerned learning to really love ourselves is one of the biggest weapons we have against the pull of immediate pleasure. When we love ourselves we naturally want to take care of our bodies and eat healthier foods. It doesn't mean that we will never want a treat, it does mean that we will be less inclined to have to binge over it. And if we do binge, we will be better able to forgive ourselves and move on.
In the meantime, loving ourselves might just mean putting some distance between a food we love and the bodies we love, at least temporarily!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
How Long WIll I Use This Excuse to Overeat?
A few years ago the question I asked myself was this:
How long will I allow my father's death to be the latest excuse for being fat?
The answer that came back to me was NO LONGER.
That started my journey to become healthy in earnest...and I dropped 125 lbs...in about a year.
Today the question I am asking myself is:
How long will I allow my mother's LIFE to be my latest excuse to overeat?
While I'm not 125 pounds overweight any longer, I recognize that emo
tional eating is a large part of what got me there...and could get me right back there if I allow it.It is completely up to me to decide if I want to remain healthy or not. And if I do, then I must reaffirm my goals of feeling good about myself and being a conscious eater.
My mother is having some health issues that are stressful for the family...and I want to help and yet when I found myself grabbing food and not really tasting it as it went down I had a deja vu kind of light bulb moment.
I must continue to make MY health the #1 priority in my life. After all, if I don't make it a priority then who will? I also have to accept that I don't have control over my mom...what she does, or does not choose to do regarding her health. I can offer help and then I have to let it go.
This is a big challenge that a lot of women face. Guys too of course, but generally speaking more women are in the caregiver role then men are...
You may be caring for a child, an aging parent, an ill spouse, a friend or sibling...or perhaps you are a caregiver by profession. No matter who you are caring for, it is so important that we remember our primary responsibility is to ourselves.
I know this sounds selfish. I was brought up that we put ourselves last...and I was brought up to be obese! No coincidence. We have to challenge that training and retrain ourselves to believe in our own worth.
So I'm reminding myself to give up the excuses...there is ALWAYS an excuse if you let there be one. I intend to remember to love myself...and that includes choosing ways other than eating to deal with my emotions most of the time...and to be gentle on myself on the occasions when I choose to overeat anyway!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Do You Hate Yourself Because You Are Fat?
If you hate yourself because you are fat, then you are not alone. Millions of folks in this country...more female than male, but not restricted to any gender...do not like the way our bodies look. We've been taught that "we" are our bodies...and therefore, if we do not like the ways our bodies look then we do not like ourselves.
What I've found is that while we THINK we hate our bodies (and therefore ourselves) because we are fat, the inverse is actually true: We are fat because we hate ourselves and our bodies.
I know this flies in the face of conventional, scientific wisdom...so if this is news to you, realize that you are not alone in your beliefs and that I am not alone in this way of thinking. From weight loss pros like Geneen Roth to spiritual teachers like Abraham more and more folks are coming on board to this idea.
Do we become fat because we eat too much and/or move our bodies too little. Yes and no. Do we stay overweight because we eat too much and/or move our bodies too little. Again, yes and no...
It isn't about what we eat or how much we eat. It is more about why we eat and how we feel about ourselves and what we eat.
The better we feel about ourselves the more healthy we tend to eat. When we love and respect ourselves and our bodies we are better able to listen to our body and to take care of it and eat what it needs in order to be at its most healthy state. Sometimes this may be MORE than what we were eating before. Sometimes it may be less. Sometimes it may be different foods, other times it will be about when we eat.
One of the biggest challenges that we face is to learn to love and appreciate ourselves. Right now. No matter what our size is. No matter what we just ate.
Instead what we typically do is say we will love our bodies (and ourselves) when we've lost 5 pounds (or 50 or whatever the magic number is for you.) Sometimes our love is even more conditional than that...not only do we require weight loss to be deserving of our love, we require it in a specific time frame!
Sometimes we aren't aware that we are restricting our love...we just think we will be happier, more popular, more athletic, more __ (you fill in the blank)...but no matter what that "more" is, if we need to lose weight in order to experience it then we inherently feel we are "less" than enough...not good enough...somehow inferior...and all those feelings are about lack of love.
Hating our bodies is a complete waste of our time and energy. Nothing good comes from hate. It does not motivate us for permanent weight loss...it only perpetuates itself.
If you want to have true weight loss success...healthy, natural and permanent...then it starts with learning to love yourself.
What I've found is that while we THINK we hate our bodies (and therefore ourselves) because we are fat, the inverse is actually true: We are fat because we hate ourselves and our bodies.
I know this flies in the face of conventional, scientific wisdom...so if this is news to you, realize that you are not alone in your beliefs and that I am not alone in this way of thinking. From weight loss pros like Geneen Roth to spiritual teachers like Abraham more and more folks are coming on board to this idea.
Do we become fat because we eat too much and/or move our bodies too little. Yes and no. Do we stay overweight because we eat too much and/or move our bodies too little. Again, yes and no...
It isn't about what we eat or how much we eat. It is more about why we eat and how we feel about ourselves and what we eat.
The better we feel about ourselves the more healthy we tend to eat. When we love and respect ourselves and our bodies we are better able to listen to our body and to take care of it and eat what it needs in order to be at its most healthy state. Sometimes this may be MORE than what we were eating before. Sometimes it may be less. Sometimes it may be different foods, other times it will be about when we eat.
One of the biggest challenges that we face is to learn to love and appreciate ourselves. Right now. No matter what our size is. No matter what we just ate.
Instead what we typically do is say we will love our bodies (and ourselves) when we've lost 5 pounds (or 50 or whatever the magic number is for you.) Sometimes our love is even more conditional than that...not only do we require weight loss to be deserving of our love, we require it in a specific time frame!
Sometimes we aren't aware that we are restricting our love...we just think we will be happier, more popular, more athletic, more __ (you fill in the blank)...but no matter what that "more" is, if we need to lose weight in order to experience it then we inherently feel we are "less" than enough...not good enough...somehow inferior...and all those feelings are about lack of love.
Hating our bodies is a complete waste of our time and energy. Nothing good comes from hate. It does not motivate us for permanent weight loss...it only perpetuates itself.
If you want to have true weight loss success...healthy, natural and permanent...then it starts with learning to love yourself.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Love Is In the Air
It is fall and it is time for us to "go back to school" and learn to love ourselves.
Loving ourselves is crucial to attaining our health and fitness goals...we just cannot have permanent weight loss success if we hate our bodies, and by extension, ourselves.
Tall order I know. We have loads of practice hating ourselves. We deserve to cut ourselves a little slack and not expect to have overnight results.
We won't change from loathing ourselves to loving ourselves overnight any more than we will be 300 pounds one day and 150 pounds the next.
Both changes take time...but if we change the first one the second will naturally follow.
I developed a technique that helped me to learn to love myself...to be able to actually look myself in the eye and say, "I love you Laurie" and not feel like a big, fat liar!
I reveal this technique in my book, Refuse to Diet: Weight Loss Success Starts with Your Mind...Not Your Mouth and in this month's topic on my website RefuseToDiet.com
I hope you'll join me as autumn brings out the bounty of love...and teaches us that small changes bring us big rewards in health, happiness and the slender bodies we deserve!
Loving ourselves is crucial to attaining our health and fitness goals...we just cannot have permanent weight loss success if we hate our bodies, and by extension, ourselves.
Tall order I know. We have loads of practice hating ourselves. We deserve to cut ourselves a little slack and not expect to have overnight results.
We won't change from loathing ourselves to loving ourselves overnight any more than we will be 300 pounds one day and 150 pounds the next.
Both changes take time...but if we change the first one the second will naturally follow.
I developed a technique that helped me to learn to love myself...to be able to actually look myself in the eye and say, "I love you Laurie" and not feel like a big, fat liar!
I reveal this technique in my book, Refuse to Diet: Weight Loss Success Starts with Your Mind...Not Your Mouth and in this month's topic on my website RefuseToDiet.com
I hope you'll join me as autumn brings out the bounty of love...and teaches us that small changes bring us big rewards in health, happiness and the slender bodies we deserve!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Confessions of an Emotional Eater
One of the best ways to avoid emotional eating is to plan ahead and have other outlets for your emotions. That way you are ready and able to deal with emotions in a healthier way. One of my ways of dealing with emotions is writing on my computer, whether it is articles or blog posts or connecting with people on Twitter or Facebook or through email, I have found the computer to be a great tool in my weight loss success plan. So imagine my dismay when I am without a computer because it crashes. Then imagine, after buying a new computer, less than 2 months later the NEW one crashes--the morning I am leaving for a trip to help my 80-something mother through a surgery and multiple doctors’ visits.
Whew. I was not a happy camper.
Sure I had some other alternatives such as going for walks and talking to my family back home, but the computer and writing are such an integral part of my process that losing that outlet was a big blow for me. And I confess: I ate. A lot.
But the point isn’t really about what I could have done differently, what I could have done better; it isn’t about pointing out my flaws; it certainly isn’t about beating myself up for not being perfect.
The point is just that…I’m not perfect…and that’s okay! We don’t have to be perfect in order to be healthy. Truth is, being perfect is not only not possible for mere humans, it isn’t really healthy to strive for perfection as the goal. I know this because for many, many years that is exactly what I tried to do. And when I fell short of that goal I was really hard on myself and I either was super-critical or I just gave up on all attempts to be healthy…usually I did both! While I was labeling myself as a “perfectionist” I was really setting myself up for failure and then getting mad at myself when the inevitable happened.
My mother’s surgery went well (thanks for asking), I’m back home now, my new (and newly repaired) computer is as well, and I have brought a few extra pounds with me as a souvenir of the trip. It isn’t the end of the world…it isn’t even the end of my wardrobe, although things are a bit tighter than I’d like.
So now I can get back to dealing with my emotions in a more healthy way than by eating. But you know what? I’m not kicking myself about the eating…it definitely was a tool I used to help me through a challenge. Whether there were better tools available or not is actually beside the point. Now that I am home in an environment where I feel a bit more in control, I can go back to doing the things that I know work for me in the long run.
This trip was the perfect storm for me…allowing me the chance to eat for purely emotional reasons…and I came out of it, a bit battered but intact! I know that there will be more storms in the future and some I will weather fine and others will toss me around a bit. That is part of what life is about…it is about the long haul, not the single storm.
Ironically, by letting go of the need to be perfect I am able to accept who I am and realize that I am still a good person who deserves health…a person who can take it one step at a time, even if once in a while those steps run a little backwards! The journey to permanent weight loss is not a straight path. This experience reinforces for me that I am on the right path, that by loving myself enough to be gentle with my transgressions I will come out of it faster and healthier…and weighing less, too!
Whew. I was not a happy camper.
Sure I had some other alternatives such as going for walks and talking to my family back home, but the computer and writing are such an integral part of my process that losing that outlet was a big blow for me. And I confess: I ate. A lot.
But the point isn’t really about what I could have done differently, what I could have done better; it isn’t about pointing out my flaws; it certainly isn’t about beating myself up for not being perfect.
The point is just that…I’m not perfect…and that’s okay! We don’t have to be perfect in order to be healthy. Truth is, being perfect is not only not possible for mere humans, it isn’t really healthy to strive for perfection as the goal. I know this because for many, many years that is exactly what I tried to do. And when I fell short of that goal I was really hard on myself and I either was super-critical or I just gave up on all attempts to be healthy…usually I did both! While I was labeling myself as a “perfectionist” I was really setting myself up for failure and then getting mad at myself when the inevitable happened.
My mother’s surgery went well (thanks for asking), I’m back home now, my new (and newly repaired) computer is as well, and I have brought a few extra pounds with me as a souvenir of the trip. It isn’t the end of the world…it isn’t even the end of my wardrobe, although things are a bit tighter than I’d like.
So now I can get back to dealing with my emotions in a more healthy way than by eating. But you know what? I’m not kicking myself about the eating…it definitely was a tool I used to help me through a challenge. Whether there were better tools available or not is actually beside the point. Now that I am home in an environment where I feel a bit more in control, I can go back to doing the things that I know work for me in the long run.
This trip was the perfect storm for me…allowing me the chance to eat for purely emotional reasons…and I came out of it, a bit battered but intact! I know that there will be more storms in the future and some I will weather fine and others will toss me around a bit. That is part of what life is about…it is about the long haul, not the single storm.
Ironically, by letting go of the need to be perfect I am able to accept who I am and realize that I am still a good person who deserves health…a person who can take it one step at a time, even if once in a while those steps run a little backwards! The journey to permanent weight loss is not a straight path. This experience reinforces for me that I am on the right path, that by loving myself enough to be gentle with my transgressions I will come out of it faster and healthier…and weighing less, too!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
For Weight Loss Success Love Yourself Enough to Eat Healthy
I know that it SEEMS like we eat comfort food because we love ourselves and want to pamper ourselves...and maybe SOMETIMES that is true.
I contend that more often our comfort food and grabbing "convenience" foods in order to save time is really because we are not loving ourselves enough to make healthy choices.
We wouldn't knowingly poison our kids or our pets, yet we are willing to poison ourselves with food that we know will make us sick.
Eating healthy does not have to take a lot of time, or cost a lot of money--and one of the best things is you don't have to be fanatical about it...you don't have to be perfect! *Whew!*
The healthier I eat, the lower my grocery bill! And making fresh, healthy meals can be quite quick, if you stick to a few dishes and keep the number of ingredients down. I don't try to make the dinner of Ozzie and Harriet...I have too much going on to have a salad and a vegetable and, the list went on and on. So I make maybe 3 things.
Often I make enough of one or two dishes to last several days...I call that "Planned Overs"...that saves a lot of time, which I know is a precious commodity for most of us.
Here is one of the tricks to not wasting a lot of produce and still getting all the nutrients that your body needs: don't try to buy one of everything. Instead, choose enough for a couple of days. Try to get some variety of color in your produce too...that helps you get a wider array of vitamins. Then the next time you go shopping try a few different items. That way you get the variety without having to make so many dishes all at one time.
Go for stealth shopping...the goal is to get in and out quickly. Cruise the outside of the store (that's where the fresh stuff usually is) and stay out of the middle unless you have something specific on your list that you need, like some canned or frozen item to supplement your fresh produce.
Take care of your body...show your body that you love yourself enough to feed it the good, healthy foods that it needs to function at its peak. Do that and your body will reward you with energy, vitality and you will drop excess fat, too!
I contend that more often our comfort food and grabbing "convenience" foods in order to save time is really because we are not loving ourselves enough to make healthy choices.
We wouldn't knowingly poison our kids or our pets, yet we are willing to poison ourselves with food that we know will make us sick.
Eating healthy does not have to take a lot of time, or cost a lot of money--and one of the best things is you don't have to be fanatical about it...you don't have to be perfect! *Whew!*
The healthier I eat, the lower my grocery bill! And making fresh, healthy meals can be quite quick, if you stick to a few dishes and keep the number of ingredients down. I don't try to make the dinner of Ozzie and Harriet...I have too much going on to have a salad and a vegetable and, the list went on and on. So I make maybe 3 things.
Often I make enough of one or two dishes to last several days...I call that "Planned Overs"...that saves a lot of time, which I know is a precious commodity for most of us.
Here is one of the tricks to not wasting a lot of produce and still getting all the nutrients that your body needs: don't try to buy one of everything. Instead, choose enough for a couple of days. Try to get some variety of color in your produce too...that helps you get a wider array of vitamins. Then the next time you go shopping try a few different items. That way you get the variety without having to make so many dishes all at one time.
Go for stealth shopping...the goal is to get in and out quickly. Cruise the outside of the store (that's where the fresh stuff usually is) and stay out of the middle unless you have something specific on your list that you need, like some canned or frozen item to supplement your fresh produce.
Take care of your body...show your body that you love yourself enough to feed it the good, healthy foods that it needs to function at its peak. Do that and your body will reward you with energy, vitality and you will drop excess fat, too!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Honest Self-Appraisal or Self-Loathing?
I'm moved to write today in response to a blog post by one of my favorite bloggers, Karen Anderson. Like so many of us, she struggles with self-image and has been working on loving herself and her body...and then was shocked when seeing a recent photo of herself. Karen was also responding to another blogpost where a gal was reflecting back on her body and honestly appraising her physical situation, at least theoretically, without self-loathing.
You can read Karen's post here, and the other post here. Both are thought provoking and it is great to have all sorts of different perspectives. As I've often said, there is no one right answer that fits every body...
With that in mind, here are some of my thoughts from reading these provocative posts.
I agree that being honest about where you are is not the same as hating oneself, however using the word "fat" tends to come with so much emotional baggage that it can tip the scale into disgust or loathing even if it is also accurate. For that reason alone it may be appropriate to come up with new terminology without the existing connotations.
On the other hand, in our effort to reflect the "truth" or to be "honest" we can be hurtful to ourselves or to others.
If we find that we are larger than we “should” be, that we are eating more than our body needs in order to survive then it is possible that there is some reason behind eating more than you burn that is emotionally based. Once we figure that out and break those habits (physical and mindset patterns) it is much easier and natural to drop the excess weight. This doesn't mean some big traumatic event happened in your life...it just means that we are eating for some reason other than actual physical hunger. We deserve to figure out what that is so we can move on to the healthy, energetic, slender bodies we deserve. Until we do, we are destined to ride the diet roller coaster, which is not a fun ride...one that literally can make you sick!
In the mean time we definitely deserve to look at our bodies and ourselves in a more loving way. Rather than looking at our saddlebags or acknowledging that our boobs are too big or parts of our bodies jiggle, we deserve to focus on our strengths and how well our bodies serve us.
Does that mean we might have moments when we are captured on film/tape/or in the mirror where we do not recognize our bodies? Sure...but do you recognize your voice when you hear it on the tape recorder or answering machine? Most of us do not because as our voices resonate around in our own heads we literally sound different. But people around us hear our voice and accept it as us without the criticism that we often place on it--even if our perception is "honest". The same is true for our bodies.
We may be shocked when we "objectively" see a photo of ourselves, but part of the reason we are surprised is we are used to seeing ourselves from specific angles, doing specific movements and in the mirror which reverses us. People around us see us for the animate, loving, moving, fully 3 dimensional people we are...and can accept us that way. Remember, photos are merely a snapshot of one split second. The unattractive shot of us sweating and grimacing is no more an accurate representation of what we look like and who we are than the perfectly coiffed and poised "glamour shot."
You can read Karen's post here, and the other post here. Both are thought provoking and it is great to have all sorts of different perspectives. As I've often said, there is no one right answer that fits every body...
With that in mind, here are some of my thoughts from reading these provocative posts.
I agree that being honest about where you are is not the same as hating oneself, however using the word "fat" tends to come with so much emotional baggage that it can tip the scale into disgust or loathing even if it is also accurate. For that reason alone it may be appropriate to come up with new terminology without the existing connotations.
On the other hand, in our effort to reflect the "truth" or to be "honest" we can be hurtful to ourselves or to others.
If we find that we are larger than we “should” be, that we are eating more than our body needs in order to survive then it is possible that there is some reason behind eating more than you burn that is emotionally based. Once we figure that out and break those habits (physical and mindset patterns) it is much easier and natural to drop the excess weight. This doesn't mean some big traumatic event happened in your life...it just means that we are eating for some reason other than actual physical hunger. We deserve to figure out what that is so we can move on to the healthy, energetic, slender bodies we deserve. Until we do, we are destined to ride the diet roller coaster, which is not a fun ride...one that literally can make you sick!
In the mean time we definitely deserve to look at our bodies and ourselves in a more loving way. Rather than looking at our saddlebags or acknowledging that our boobs are too big or parts of our bodies jiggle, we deserve to focus on our strengths and how well our bodies serve us.
Does that mean we might have moments when we are captured on film/tape/or in the mirror where we do not recognize our bodies? Sure...but do you recognize your voice when you hear it on the tape recorder or answering machine? Most of us do not because as our voices resonate around in our own heads we literally sound different. But people around us hear our voice and accept it as us without the criticism that we often place on it--even if our perception is "honest". The same is true for our bodies.
We may be shocked when we "objectively" see a photo of ourselves, but part of the reason we are surprised is we are used to seeing ourselves from specific angles, doing specific movements and in the mirror which reverses us. People around us see us for the animate, loving, moving, fully 3 dimensional people we are...and can accept us that way. Remember, photos are merely a snapshot of one split second. The unattractive shot of us sweating and grimacing is no more an accurate representation of what we look like and who we are than the perfectly coiffed and poised "glamour shot."
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Life and Loss: Does Our Weight Really Matter?
As I ponder the loss of a dear friend this week thoughts race across my mind and heart. Adding to the jumble was the news of the death of a fabulous local sculptor. The two losses combined and helped forge my feelings and thoughts on where our weight rates in the grand scheme of things.
I suppose the answer could be "not at all," but in truth, that is not accurate...
While the number on the scale is not important in and of itself, the idea or concept behind that number does indeed have some merit...if only as a measure of where we are relative to where we want to be.
My friend Faye moved away a couple of years ago due to be closer to her daughter and grandchildren. We pledged visits that never came to pass and so Faye has not seen much of my physical transformation. She would be pleased at the result, not because of any aesthetic or societal reasons...although she was truly a Southern Lady and of quite a delicate build...but because she recognized that our physical body reflects the condition of our mind as well as her desire for ideal health for all her loved ones.
It would be easy for me to drown my sorrows in gallons of ice cream...and indeed I lifted a pint last night...but thankfully, the demon of food addiction seems to be tamed and I have awoken today quite satisfied and not needing, nor wanting, to start my day with sugar just because I ended yesterday that way. Not so long ago I would not have been able to say that.
The point behind today's ramble is that I recognize the purpose of life is to live it. Our weight only matters in how it allows us to, or prevents us from, living it to the best of our abilities.
When I was over 300 pounds I was so addicted to food that it consumed my life as much as I consumed it! It colored my world, invading my thoughts, affecting my vision both literally and figuratively.
Now that I am of "normal" weight and I am free of that prison I can see that other things can still keep me from living my best life if I allow it to happen. Whether it is watching television, working too hard, worrying about other people and not paying attention to myself...if these things keep me from experiencing joy and contributing to the best of my ability then these are not health activities either.
Just like we must eat to live, we must also make money to pay the bills and we must take care of our homes and our families. For many of us, we have pushed our own lives and feelings aside...or down...with food...smothering our fears with gravy, drowning our sadness with hot fudge, burying our worries with chips...
We deserve to break this cycle and emerge from the prison that we have created and learn to express our feelings and live our lives...which is more than paying bills and tending to others. First and foremost we must take care of ourselves...until we do that, we will not be able to give the greatest gift we can to our friends, our children, our spouses, our communities...and that gift is US.
Each of us is unique and that is a good thing. Let us remember to let our unique light shine in the world. No one else can glow in the same way we can...and we do not serve the world by trying to be just like another. So, let us lose weight not because we "should"...but because we truly desire to be our best selves and because we know we deserve to be healthy and energetic...
Don't worry about the number on the scale. Decide "where you want to go"...in other words, what do you want to be able to accomplish in this life that perhaps you cannot do right now because of your weight and health?
To your healthy, energetic, slender body--you deserve it!
I suppose the answer could be "not at all," but in truth, that is not accurate...
While the number on the scale is not important in and of itself, the idea or concept behind that number does indeed have some merit...if only as a measure of where we are relative to where we want to be.
My friend Faye moved away a couple of years ago due to be closer to her daughter and grandchildren. We pledged visits that never came to pass and so Faye has not seen much of my physical transformation. She would be pleased at the result, not because of any aesthetic or societal reasons...although she was truly a Southern Lady and of quite a delicate build...but because she recognized that our physical body reflects the condition of our mind as well as her desire for ideal health for all her loved ones.
It would be easy for me to drown my sorrows in gallons of ice cream...and indeed I lifted a pint last night...but thankfully, the demon of food addiction seems to be tamed and I have awoken today quite satisfied and not needing, nor wanting, to start my day with sugar just because I ended yesterday that way. Not so long ago I would not have been able to say that.
The point behind today's ramble is that I recognize the purpose of life is to live it. Our weight only matters in how it allows us to, or prevents us from, living it to the best of our abilities.
When I was over 300 pounds I was so addicted to food that it consumed my life as much as I consumed it! It colored my world, invading my thoughts, affecting my vision both literally and figuratively.
Now that I am of "normal" weight and I am free of that prison I can see that other things can still keep me from living my best life if I allow it to happen. Whether it is watching television, working too hard, worrying about other people and not paying attention to myself...if these things keep me from experiencing joy and contributing to the best of my ability then these are not health activities either.
Just like we must eat to live, we must also make money to pay the bills and we must take care of our homes and our families. For many of us, we have pushed our own lives and feelings aside...or down...with food...smothering our fears with gravy, drowning our sadness with hot fudge, burying our worries with chips...
We deserve to break this cycle and emerge from the prison that we have created and learn to express our feelings and live our lives...which is more than paying bills and tending to others. First and foremost we must take care of ourselves...until we do that, we will not be able to give the greatest gift we can to our friends, our children, our spouses, our communities...and that gift is US.
Each of us is unique and that is a good thing. Let us remember to let our unique light shine in the world. No one else can glow in the same way we can...and we do not serve the world by trying to be just like another. So, let us lose weight not because we "should"...but because we truly desire to be our best selves and because we know we deserve to be healthy and energetic...
Don't worry about the number on the scale. Decide "where you want to go"...in other words, what do you want to be able to accomplish in this life that perhaps you cannot do right now because of your weight and health?
- Decide who you want to be
- Focus on that goal and become that person on the inside.
- See yourself doing those things you dream about.
- Take small steps to achieve that dream every day.
- If you fall short some days, remember that is just part of the journey.
To your healthy, energetic, slender body--you deserve it!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Oprah Discovers Secret to Permanent Weight Loss
Since I Tivo just about everything I watch on television, it isn't often that I even watch a show the day that it airs. I am glad I watched yesterday because of the "humdinger follow up" on a woman named Katherine who had lost 175 pounds.
8 years ago Katherine was featured on the show and amidst all the applause she vowed she would never be fat again. Who among us who has dropped unwanted pounds has not made a similar pledge? I know I sure have.
Like me, Katherine did not keep that vow. In Katherine's case she gained almost all her weight back after keeping it off for 7 or 8 years. In my case, many years ago, I gained more weight than I had lost as I catapulted my "weigh" up higher and higher on the scale.
Katherine has once again lost a significant amount of weight--over 100 pounds. No mean feat, that. But what I found most interesting was that both she and Oprah could have been quoting from my book, Refuse to Diet: Weight Loss Success Starts with Your Mind...Not Your Mouth, as they discussed coming to peace with food and their bodies.
Oprah, Katherine, and I all realize that it is about loving yourself as you are in this very moment that matters. You may be at the beginning of your weight loss journey or nearing your goal...no matter where you are it is imperative that you love yourself now rather than deciding you will be worthy of that love only when you are slender.
I write about this in depth in my book, and give you tools to help achieve this...because for most of us, it is a big challenge to love ourselves when we neither look nor feel our best. After all, we have loads of practice hating ourselves and berating our bodies.
As Katherine said, she used to look in the mirror and say negative things about herself. "You disgust me," for example is a phrase we often say, or "I hate my hips" or thighs or (insert detested body part here.)
I loved that Katherine was able to use the example of her not-so-tiny hips...and she said, "these hips birthed my children...these hips carry me around so that I can be with the people I love."
This is an excellent example of turning our thoughts around...finding the positive aspect of that body. We must begin to learn to shower our body with loving thoughts and energy if we truly want to have weight loss success...at least if we truly want permanent results.
It starts with loving ourselves. Without that, we doom ourselves to an unhealthy body and life. Oh, some people may lose weight, and like Katherine they may even be able to keep it off for years...but without that deep self-love and acceptance we will turn to destructive behaviors. It may be eating or it may take another form, but we cannot possibly live our lives to their fullest potential when we dislike ourselves. We will create something to really not like ourselves for...and then learning to love ourselves becomes even more of a challenge.
If you truly want permanent weight loss, start with your mind and loving yourself. That is more important (and works a lot better) than any diet, counting calories/carbs/fat grams or exercise program! So declare after me, "I REFUSE to diet" and watch those pounds melt away through the power of love!
8 years ago Katherine was featured on the show and amidst all the applause she vowed she would never be fat again. Who among us who has dropped unwanted pounds has not made a similar pledge? I know I sure have.
Like me, Katherine did not keep that vow. In Katherine's case she gained almost all her weight back after keeping it off for 7 or 8 years. In my case, many years ago, I gained more weight than I had lost as I catapulted my "weigh" up higher and higher on the scale.
Katherine has once again lost a significant amount of weight--over 100 pounds. No mean feat, that. But what I found most interesting was that both she and Oprah could have been quoting from my book, Refuse to Diet: Weight Loss Success Starts with Your Mind...Not Your Mouth, as they discussed coming to peace with food and their bodies.
Oprah, Katherine, and I all realize that it is about loving yourself as you are in this very moment that matters. You may be at the beginning of your weight loss journey or nearing your goal...no matter where you are it is imperative that you love yourself now rather than deciding you will be worthy of that love only when you are slender.
I write about this in depth in my book, and give you tools to help achieve this...because for most of us, it is a big challenge to love ourselves when we neither look nor feel our best. After all, we have loads of practice hating ourselves and berating our bodies.
As Katherine said, she used to look in the mirror and say negative things about herself. "You disgust me," for example is a phrase we often say, or "I hate my hips" or thighs or (insert detested body part here.)
I loved that Katherine was able to use the example of her not-so-tiny hips...and she said, "these hips birthed my children...these hips carry me around so that I can be with the people I love."
This is an excellent example of turning our thoughts around...finding the positive aspect of that body. We must begin to learn to shower our body with loving thoughts and energy if we truly want to have weight loss success...at least if we truly want permanent results.
It starts with loving ourselves. Without that, we doom ourselves to an unhealthy body and life. Oh, some people may lose weight, and like Katherine they may even be able to keep it off for years...but without that deep self-love and acceptance we will turn to destructive behaviors. It may be eating or it may take another form, but we cannot possibly live our lives to their fullest potential when we dislike ourselves. We will create something to really not like ourselves for...and then learning to love ourselves becomes even more of a challenge.
If you truly want permanent weight loss, start with your mind and loving yourself. That is more important (and works a lot better) than any diet, counting calories/carbs/fat grams or exercise program! So declare after me, "I REFUSE to diet" and watch those pounds melt away through the power of love!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Hormones and Weight Loss Success: No April Fool's Joke
Fluctuating hormones can have a HUGE impact on our weight loss success...and that is no April Fool's Day joke...although it sure can feel like a bad joke...
Sometimes we feel fat, bloated, ugly, and overly emotional...but the scale won't reflect a significant change. Other times the scale WILL agree with our feelings. Still other times, the scale will indicate that we have gained weight even though we don't feel like we have.
This is one reason that I don't weigh myself very often...the number on the scale just doesn't mean a whole lot in the grand scheme of things.
No matter what the scale says, it can be discouraging however to believe you have been doing everything you can to increase your health only to try on your jeans and have to suck in your stomach to get them on...or feel like they are cutting you in half when you sit down!
It is important to realize that women do have fluctuating hormones that will change how and where they retain water...and what we crave to eat...and our energy level and moods.
In the past, I would use sugar and caffeine to artificially boost my energy level when I felt the fatigue set in. Some days this was the afternoon energy dip (you know, about 3:30) but other times it was present all day long.
What I have learned on this weight loss journey...well, learned maybe isn't the right word...it is something I have discovered, but don't always remember!...is that the better I treat my body the more even my hormone levels are. And the more level they are, the less I feel the fatigue and emotional roller coaster.
That doesn't mean I never feel it! I only wish!!! This last week I have been really suffering...my joints were aching...I was feeling hugely fat...even my "fat jeans" were feeling tight...I was crying for no reason and I looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw.
Instead of reaching for food to soothe my feelings, I focused on my mindset because I knew that was the key to losing 125 pounds in the first place!...here is what I did:
EVALUATION
I took a good look at what I was eating and drinking. Was I truly being conscious about my choices, or was I slipping into some old behaviors that were less healthy choices?
DECISION
I decided to succeed: I reaffirmed that I desire and deserve a healthy, energetic and slender body...and to do that I had to I would focus on my mind, my attitude, and loving myself
ACTION
Mixing up my exercise has been great...the weather is wonderful and so I have been walking in the fresh air with a buddy who helps me to keep up a good pace, while enjoying the beauty around me.
REST
Rather than pushing through or grabbing stimulants to make it through the day, I actually allowed myself to rest. Amazing concept...but for a person who has always tended to push through the pain no matter what this is STILL a big challenge for me...to recognize that maybe my body just needs a little rest. So yesterday afternoon I actually laid down for a nap--something I almost never do. I must have needed it, because what I thought would be 20 minutes turned into 3 hours! I went to bed early last night and slept until 6am. Like I said, I guess I needed it.
THE RESULT
After a few days of renewed awareness of my eating and a good rest yesterday, I woke up feeling 100% better and like I had lost 10 pounds over night. I didn't weigh myself before or after, but I put on my "skinny jeans" fresh out of the laundry and hurray--they fit & feel great!
THE LESSON
Be kind and loving to yourself.
Be willing to step back and reassess what you are doing.
Remain conscious about what you put in your mouth.
Recommit to your decision that you are worthy of health.
Rest when you are tired.
Don't stress about it--because if you do these things then "this to will pass!"
Sometimes we feel fat, bloated, ugly, and overly emotional...but the scale won't reflect a significant change. Other times the scale WILL agree with our feelings. Still other times, the scale will indicate that we have gained weight even though we don't feel like we have.
This is one reason that I don't weigh myself very often...the number on the scale just doesn't mean a whole lot in the grand scheme of things.
No matter what the scale says, it can be discouraging however to believe you have been doing everything you can to increase your health only to try on your jeans and have to suck in your stomach to get them on...or feel like they are cutting you in half when you sit down!
It is important to realize that women do have fluctuating hormones that will change how and where they retain water...and what we crave to eat...and our energy level and moods.
In the past, I would use sugar and caffeine to artificially boost my energy level when I felt the fatigue set in. Some days this was the afternoon energy dip (you know, about 3:30) but other times it was present all day long.
What I have learned on this weight loss journey...well, learned maybe isn't the right word...it is something I have discovered, but don't always remember!...is that the better I treat my body the more even my hormone levels are. And the more level they are, the less I feel the fatigue and emotional roller coaster.
That doesn't mean I never feel it! I only wish!!! This last week I have been really suffering...my joints were aching...I was feeling hugely fat...even my "fat jeans" were feeling tight...I was crying for no reason and I looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw.
Instead of reaching for food to soothe my feelings, I focused on my mindset because I knew that was the key to losing 125 pounds in the first place!...here is what I did:
EVALUATION
I took a good look at what I was eating and drinking. Was I truly being conscious about my choices, or was I slipping into some old behaviors that were less healthy choices?
DECISION
I decided to succeed: I reaffirmed that I desire and deserve a healthy, energetic and slender body...and to do that I had to I would focus on my mind, my attitude, and loving myself
ACTION
Mixing up my exercise has been great...the weather is wonderful and so I have been walking in the fresh air with a buddy who helps me to keep up a good pace, while enjoying the beauty around me.
REST
Rather than pushing through or grabbing stimulants to make it through the day, I actually allowed myself to rest. Amazing concept...but for a person who has always tended to push through the pain no matter what this is STILL a big challenge for me...to recognize that maybe my body just needs a little rest. So yesterday afternoon I actually laid down for a nap--something I almost never do. I must have needed it, because what I thought would be 20 minutes turned into 3 hours! I went to bed early last night and slept until 6am. Like I said, I guess I needed it.
THE RESULT
After a few days of renewed awareness of my eating and a good rest yesterday, I woke up feeling 100% better and like I had lost 10 pounds over night. I didn't weigh myself before or after, but I put on my "skinny jeans" fresh out of the laundry and hurray--they fit & feel great!
THE LESSON
Be kind and loving to yourself.
Be willing to step back and reassess what you are doing.
Remain conscious about what you put in your mouth.
Recommit to your decision that you are worthy of health.
Rest when you are tired.
Don't stress about it--because if you do these things then "this to will pass!"
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
National Nutrition Month: Ahh Sugar, Sugar
March is National Nutrition Month and so it is a good time to revisit a nemesis those of us who are overweight or have struggled with our weight: sugar. Specifically, liquid sugar.
One of the easiest ways to lose weight permanently, naturally and safely is to reduce the amount of sugar we consume...and one of the easiest ways to do that is to forgo soft drinks.
I'm not in favor of saying you should "never" eat or drink something but sodas are best put on a list of items we extremely rarely ingest.
A single can of soda contains 10 teaspoons of sugar!!! But sodas aren't the only culprit. We may think a high-energy drink or sports drink would be better for us...or iced tea, fruit juice or lemonade...but we'd most likely be wrong. Quick flip that can or bottle over and see what makes the list of ingredients. If it reads high fructose corn syrup, sugar, or other sugars and/or syrups it is pretty much the same--sugar that adds unneeded calories to our bodies.
While you are looking at that ingredient list, take a look at the number of servings in that can/bottle. You may be surprised to find that single can/bottle is actually more than a "single serving"...that is just one of the ways that manufacturers get away with misleading the consumer into thinking they are taking in fewer calories, less sugar/fat/etc.
When I was a kid we sometimes were traveling to countries where drinking the water was not safe and therefore we drank sodas. Fortunately, we don't have that problem much in the USA, and if your tap water is bad either temporarily or long-term, it is usually possible to get excellent water locally--a quick drive to the grocery store.
Still, in the USA, 47 gallons of soda per person was consumed in 2008. Some of us aren't doing our share...so that means most people are probably drinking more than 50 gallons of the stuff a year. That would be about a gallon of soda a week per person! With sugar consumption like that it should be no surprise we are a nation of overweight people with attention problems!
If you drink just one soda a day at roughly 150 calories per soda, that is a total of 54,750 calories of pure sugar. And a pound is equal to about 3500 calories. That means by eliminating just that one soda from your diet every day you could theoretically lose 15.64 pounds in a year--without changing any other habit!
But if the fact that soda has no nutritional value and only serves to make us fat isn't enough, it also increases our risk for diabetes and heart disease. So focus on loving yourself enough to be healthy and reduce the amount of sugar you drink this month...and start a trend you can live with...and have weight loss success with!
One of the easiest ways to lose weight permanently, naturally and safely is to reduce the amount of sugar we consume...and one of the easiest ways to do that is to forgo soft drinks.
I'm not in favor of saying you should "never" eat or drink something but sodas are best put on a list of items we extremely rarely ingest.
A single can of soda contains 10 teaspoons of sugar!!! But sodas aren't the only culprit. We may think a high-energy drink or sports drink would be better for us...or iced tea, fruit juice or lemonade...but we'd most likely be wrong. Quick flip that can or bottle over and see what makes the list of ingredients. If it reads high fructose corn syrup, sugar, or other sugars and/or syrups it is pretty much the same--sugar that adds unneeded calories to our bodies.
While you are looking at that ingredient list, take a look at the number of servings in that can/bottle. You may be surprised to find that single can/bottle is actually more than a "single serving"...that is just one of the ways that manufacturers get away with misleading the consumer into thinking they are taking in fewer calories, less sugar/fat/etc.
When I was a kid we sometimes were traveling to countries where drinking the water was not safe and therefore we drank sodas. Fortunately, we don't have that problem much in the USA, and if your tap water is bad either temporarily or long-term, it is usually possible to get excellent water locally--a quick drive to the grocery store.
Still, in the USA, 47 gallons of soda per person was consumed in 2008. Some of us aren't doing our share...so that means most people are probably drinking more than 50 gallons of the stuff a year. That would be about a gallon of soda a week per person! With sugar consumption like that it should be no surprise we are a nation of overweight people with attention problems!
If you drink just one soda a day at roughly 150 calories per soda, that is a total of 54,750 calories of pure sugar. And a pound is equal to about 3500 calories. That means by eliminating just that one soda from your diet every day you could theoretically lose 15.64 pounds in a year--without changing any other habit!
But if the fact that soda has no nutritional value and only serves to make us fat isn't enough, it also increases our risk for diabetes and heart disease. So focus on loving yourself enough to be healthy and reduce the amount of sugar you drink this month...and start a trend you can live with...and have weight loss success with!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Avoid These Holiday Weight Loss Success Mistakes
Treats are everywhere this time of year and that can make it hard to lose weight. Even if you have the best intentions. There are 3 common mistakes that people frequently make during the holidays:
1. Deprivation
By being too restrictive we can actually sabotage our weight loss success. By not believing in forbidden foods and giving ourselves permission to enjoy the special treats of the season we will not only be merrier, but we will actually eat less!
2. Drinking
While I don't believe in forbidden foods (or drinks) be careful with the booze. It relaxes us...and we tend to eat more--LOTS more! So mix in some sparkling water with or between the alcohol and you will reduce the calories you drink and eat.
3. Flagellation
When we fall short of perfection at keeping to our resolution to eat healthily, the tendency is to chastise, criticize or otherwise beat the drum of our "failure." Be gentle, this is the season of forgiveness--and that, like charity, begins at home.
Have a very happy holiday season--enjoy this time thoroughly and start the New Year in good health!
1. Deprivation
By being too restrictive we can actually sabotage our weight loss success. By not believing in forbidden foods and giving ourselves permission to enjoy the special treats of the season we will not only be merrier, but we will actually eat less!
2. Drinking
While I don't believe in forbidden foods (or drinks) be careful with the booze. It relaxes us...and we tend to eat more--LOTS more! So mix in some sparkling water with or between the alcohol and you will reduce the calories you drink and eat.
3. Flagellation
When we fall short of perfection at keeping to our resolution to eat healthily, the tendency is to chastise, criticize or otherwise beat the drum of our "failure." Be gentle, this is the season of forgiveness--and that, like charity, begins at home.
Have a very happy holiday season--enjoy this time thoroughly and start the New Year in good health!
Friday, December 4, 2009
The Best Holiday Gift: Your Family
During this week I've written about what I feel...what I KNOW...is the best gift you can give your family this holiday season. Of course that gift is YOU...a healthy, happy, energetic, slender you.
Just being alive for your family is a big gift...and by being a weight loss success story you will live longer, save money, and have lots more fun. Well, there is another aspect to this gift that is HUGE--by achieving your weight loss goals you are giving your family and friends the gift of themselves, too!
You see, you set an example. Especially for your kids...but if you have other family members or friends who are struggling with their weight, you set an example for them as well.
Kids model their parents behavior...they want to be like Mom or Dad...and no matter what words you say about the importance of eating right and moving your body, if you are a couch potato and eat junk food, they are going to DO what you DO...and they will BE what you ARE.
Diabetes rates are rising...type 2 diabetes used to be called adult onset diabetes. Sadly, this disease is rising so much and is now so prevalent they don't call it that any more.
Type 2 diabetes is mostly a condition of habit. The good news is that the disease is preventable and reversible. Think of losing weight as a cure for diabetes!
By teaching your kids good eating and exercise habits young you will be giving them a chance for living a full and happy life.
Start with small steps...don't try to make huge changes all at once. Small, consistent steps lead to long term permanent results. It isn't about being on a diet...this is a lifestyle...as comedian Sherri Shepherd said recently about her weight loss (she had been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and has lost weight and looks great) "It is not so much about a diet. It is about making healthy choices in my life and learning not to beat myself up when I do slip."
You have to decide that you are worth being healthy...I know your family thinks you are! Then take small steps to achieve weight loss...and stick with those choices. By making small changes in your life you will reach your goal and you will give your family (and yourself) the best gift possible--a healthy, energetic, slender, you...and that is truly a gift of love that will last for years and years!
Just being alive for your family is a big gift...and by being a weight loss success story you will live longer, save money, and have lots more fun. Well, there is another aspect to this gift that is HUGE--by achieving your weight loss goals you are giving your family and friends the gift of themselves, too!
You see, you set an example. Especially for your kids...but if you have other family members or friends who are struggling with their weight, you set an example for them as well.
Kids model their parents behavior...they want to be like Mom or Dad...and no matter what words you say about the importance of eating right and moving your body, if you are a couch potato and eat junk food, they are going to DO what you DO...and they will BE what you ARE.
Diabetes rates are rising...type 2 diabetes used to be called adult onset diabetes. Sadly, this disease is rising so much and is now so prevalent they don't call it that any more.
Type 2 diabetes is mostly a condition of habit. The good news is that the disease is preventable and reversible. Think of losing weight as a cure for diabetes!
By teaching your kids good eating and exercise habits young you will be giving them a chance for living a full and happy life.
Start with small steps...don't try to make huge changes all at once. Small, consistent steps lead to long term permanent results. It isn't about being on a diet...this is a lifestyle...as comedian Sherri Shepherd said recently about her weight loss (she had been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and has lost weight and looks great) "It is not so much about a diet. It is about making healthy choices in my life and learning not to beat myself up when I do slip."
You have to decide that you are worth being healthy...I know your family thinks you are! Then take small steps to achieve weight loss...and stick with those choices. By making small changes in your life you will reach your goal and you will give your family (and yourself) the best gift possible--a healthy, energetic, slender, you...and that is truly a gift of love that will last for years and years!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Love and Trust Lead to Weight Loss Success
Support yourself in you goals to lose weight and gain health. Now and always. Especially now with the holiday season upon us.
Start by knowing you deserve to have a healthy, energetic and slender body. Learn to love yourself enough to know this! This positive attitude is essential to your weight loss success. It is a mindset change for many people who are overweight. We are very practiced at beating ourselves up over our weight, our appearance, our failed efforts to change. We have done it so often that we begin to believe that we cannot succeed...that even when we want to and promise that we will, we cannot keep those promises. We do not trust ourselves.
Gain trust in your abilities by making small promises to yourself--and then keeping them. Make them super easy to keep in the beginning so that you can and will keep them. Each time you keep a promise to yourself you are building a new pattern...and a pathway in your brain...a belief that you can do it.
Make this holiday season a glorious, healthy, and happy one. It starts with loving yourself--not beating yourself up for what you have done in the past...even if that past was just an hour ago, or 5 minutes ago. Love yourself in THIS moment.
Make one small promise that is loving and that supports your health goals--it could be to move the treats somewhere out of easy eyesight...it could be to do 1 jumping jack...it could be to walk 20 extra steps...it could be to drink 1 glass of water...it could be to look yourself in the mirror and say one loving thing about yourself...it could be to write down 5 successes you had today before you go to sleep.
What the promise is, or the size of the promise, is not what is important...it is the keeping it. So if you never drink water, don't make a promise that you will drink 8 glasses every day this week. Start with one glass. If you have trouble getting in exercise, don't commit to doing an hour, start with 5 minutes. If you don't like vegetables, don't say you will eat 5 servings every day, add in one.
Then, at the end of the day, look at yourself in the mirror and repeat the promise you made and say "I kept my promise to myself, I did ____!"
Good job! Be joyful that you kept your promise. If it was easy, then you can make a little bit bigger one tomorrow. If it was at all a stretch, you can keep the same one all week long.
If you didn't keep the promise, was it because it was too big? Or did you simply forget?
If it was too big, then make the promise smaller.
If you forgot, either make a promise that you can keep right away, or do something that will make it easy to remember--a big note, get help from someone to remind you, tie a string around your finger...whatever it takes.
It is by making and keeping small healthy promises to ourselves that we build trust. Building that trust helps us to feel worthy of good things. Feeling worthy is a start for loving ourselves. As we strengthen one, we strengthen them all...and we are on our way to permanent, healthy, weight loss success!
Start by knowing you deserve to have a healthy, energetic and slender body. Learn to love yourself enough to know this! This positive attitude is essential to your weight loss success. It is a mindset change for many people who are overweight. We are very practiced at beating ourselves up over our weight, our appearance, our failed efforts to change. We have done it so often that we begin to believe that we cannot succeed...that even when we want to and promise that we will, we cannot keep those promises. We do not trust ourselves.
Gain trust in your abilities by making small promises to yourself--and then keeping them. Make them super easy to keep in the beginning so that you can and will keep them. Each time you keep a promise to yourself you are building a new pattern...and a pathway in your brain...a belief that you can do it.
Make this holiday season a glorious, healthy, and happy one. It starts with loving yourself--not beating yourself up for what you have done in the past...even if that past was just an hour ago, or 5 minutes ago. Love yourself in THIS moment.
Make one small promise that is loving and that supports your health goals--it could be to move the treats somewhere out of easy eyesight...it could be to do 1 jumping jack...it could be to walk 20 extra steps...it could be to drink 1 glass of water...it could be to look yourself in the mirror and say one loving thing about yourself...it could be to write down 5 successes you had today before you go to sleep.
What the promise is, or the size of the promise, is not what is important...it is the keeping it. So if you never drink water, don't make a promise that you will drink 8 glasses every day this week. Start with one glass. If you have trouble getting in exercise, don't commit to doing an hour, start with 5 minutes. If you don't like vegetables, don't say you will eat 5 servings every day, add in one.
Then, at the end of the day, look at yourself in the mirror and repeat the promise you made and say "I kept my promise to myself, I did ____!"
Good job! Be joyful that you kept your promise. If it was easy, then you can make a little bit bigger one tomorrow. If it was at all a stretch, you can keep the same one all week long.
If you didn't keep the promise, was it because it was too big? Or did you simply forget?
If it was too big, then make the promise smaller.
If you forgot, either make a promise that you can keep right away, or do something that will make it easy to remember--a big note, get help from someone to remind you, tie a string around your finger...whatever it takes.
It is by making and keeping small healthy promises to ourselves that we build trust. Building that trust helps us to feel worthy of good things. Feeling worthy is a start for loving ourselves. As we strengthen one, we strengthen them all...and we are on our way to permanent, healthy, weight loss success!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
11 Weeks at The Biggest Loser Ranch: Mindset Shift
Wow! It is amazing what the participants of the Biggest Loser television show have accomplished in just 11 weeks. They've worked hard and I am pulling for them to finish what they started and have the success they deserve.
Whether they made it to the final 4 or were home after the first week, I hope they have been able to incorporate into their lives some of the changes they have made so far--so both they and their families can enjoy better health.
I was struck this week by how many times Jillian and Bob mentioned the importance of mindset...if you are not ready to accept the new you then the old one will come back.
It was fantastic to hear Amanda say she loves herself--this is a crucial part of this journey. Loving yourself--knowing that you deserve the time and effort spent to achieve your health is so important. And you have to start that process NOW...before you reach your goal weight. You cannot expect to hate yourself to health! Becoming slender is not what makes you worthy...you are worthy already...and knowing that, you can become slender.
The reality check with Bob was interesting too...seeing the shift from the rah-rah, sure I can, answers to the genuine fear regarding the challenges they face coming up. This is the "moment of trught" as it were. Will they be able to keep this up? As several of them pointed out, work and family will now be dividing their focus. It is unlikely they will be seeing the big numbers, but they can still make great progress after this jump start.
I've written about the high costs of obesity before, and how we cannot sit back and think this illness is not affecting others. It was really interesting to have Suze Orman talk about it on national television. Some of the numbers she sited are staggering. I'm not 100% convinced that the reason obese people earn less money is because they cost companies more money...sure there is that component...but I also believe there is a huge bias against obese people...a perception that they are less productive, less desirable...just as there are biases against other people who are visibly "different."
The scene that bothered me this week was the one on the gridiron. It was a great eye-opener for the participants to haul their weight around...it reinforced their accomplishments which was cool. However, the hatred with which they tackled their oldselves bothered me. I'll confess...given that environment, I probably would have done the same...pumped up and tired...but hating yourself...your present self or past self...is not the answer.
That fat person deserves some love and respect. At the very least for making the decision to get healthy. That person carried this new thinner person through. That fat person protected you in the only way he/she knew how. Hating the "old you" may be part of the process...but hatred is still a powerful attachment and force of attraction.
We are truly done with the old body when we can thank it for gettting us where we are now (wherever we are on our health journey)...but acknowledge we no longer need its protection. We can bid it farewell without regret, without animosity, without attachment.
This is easier when your weight loss takes longer...you have more time to evolve. I totally understand the appeal of rapid weight loss...ironically that keep me fat for years! It was when I changed my head first and focused on my mind and my health that I dropped weight...as long as I was fixated on my weight--losing fat, the number I was at--then I kept having issues and struggles.
Best of luck to all The Biggest Loser participants. Continue to love yourselves to health!
Whether they made it to the final 4 or were home after the first week, I hope they have been able to incorporate into their lives some of the changes they have made so far--so both they and their families can enjoy better health.
I was struck this week by how many times Jillian and Bob mentioned the importance of mindset...if you are not ready to accept the new you then the old one will come back.
It was fantastic to hear Amanda say she loves herself--this is a crucial part of this journey. Loving yourself--knowing that you deserve the time and effort spent to achieve your health is so important. And you have to start that process NOW...before you reach your goal weight. You cannot expect to hate yourself to health! Becoming slender is not what makes you worthy...you are worthy already...and knowing that, you can become slender.
The reality check with Bob was interesting too...seeing the shift from the rah-rah, sure I can, answers to the genuine fear regarding the challenges they face coming up. This is the "moment of trught" as it were. Will they be able to keep this up? As several of them pointed out, work and family will now be dividing their focus. It is unlikely they will be seeing the big numbers, but they can still make great progress after this jump start.
I've written about the high costs of obesity before, and how we cannot sit back and think this illness is not affecting others. It was really interesting to have Suze Orman talk about it on national television. Some of the numbers she sited are staggering. I'm not 100% convinced that the reason obese people earn less money is because they cost companies more money...sure there is that component...but I also believe there is a huge bias against obese people...a perception that they are less productive, less desirable...just as there are biases against other people who are visibly "different."
The scene that bothered me this week was the one on the gridiron. It was a great eye-opener for the participants to haul their weight around...it reinforced their accomplishments which was cool. However, the hatred with which they tackled their oldselves bothered me. I'll confess...given that environment, I probably would have done the same...pumped up and tired...but hating yourself...your present self or past self...is not the answer.
That fat person deserves some love and respect. At the very least for making the decision to get healthy. That person carried this new thinner person through. That fat person protected you in the only way he/she knew how. Hating the "old you" may be part of the process...but hatred is still a powerful attachment and force of attraction.
We are truly done with the old body when we can thank it for gettting us where we are now (wherever we are on our health journey)...but acknowledge we no longer need its protection. We can bid it farewell without regret, without animosity, without attachment.
This is easier when your weight loss takes longer...you have more time to evolve. I totally understand the appeal of rapid weight loss...ironically that keep me fat for years! It was when I changed my head first and focused on my mind and my health that I dropped weight...as long as I was fixated on my weight--losing fat, the number I was at--then I kept having issues and struggles.
Best of luck to all The Biggest Loser participants. Continue to love yourselves to health!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Celebrity Weight Loss Week: Kirstie Alley, Another Roller Coaster Ride Ahead?
Continuing the celebrity weight loss week theme, we are coming back to a familiar face--Kirstie Alley. Anyone who has struggled with weight can identify with Kirstie's very public battles. My question is this--has Kirstie put her health at risk by putting her weight loss success on hold? Or will her plan for televised weight loss be a big inspiration and success?
In April, Kirstie Alley was on the Oprah Winfrey Show claiming she had discovered the secret to weight loss success--and that by Novemeber, she would be back on the show wearing a bikini. (She appeared on the show along with Micheal Hebrenko who also famously yo-yo dieted.)
Well, it is November...Kirstie was back and jokingly had a bikini on over her clothes...as it does not appear that her body has changed much, if at all.
She still believes she has the secret to weight loss success--so what gives? She claims that she had proposed a television show to document her weight loss progress and the networks told her to stop losing weight because that's what they would be paying for. Theoretically the deal was signed just the night before her return visit to Oprah's set.
What do you think? Will she succeed? Will she have success at losing weight? At her show? At both?
People love to see inside glimpses of a celebrity's life...and they love to see that they are human, with foibles and weaknesses, just like "real" people. Given that, and the success of other celebrity reality shows, she has a good chance of a show success.
Is her chance of weight loss success as good? Statistically, no. However, being followed around by cameras all the time might do it...although I hear that after a while you get used to them and don't even "see" them...as hard as I find that to believe, I suppose that is possible. If it is, then the cameras themselves won't be much deterrent or encouragement.
Public accountability for some people is huge...and maybe that is what will be the key for Kirstie's success (I truly hope she has success, in case you aren't sure)...but I am concerned. Get your weight loss inspiration however you can...whatever works for you, as long as it is healthy.
I believe Kirstie CAN lose weight...I know we all can. My concern is that she is setting herself up for another roller coaster ride because she is insisting that it be "fast and fun"...from my experience permanent weight loss can be fun...but it isn't necessarily fast...because you have to make permanent changes to achieve permanent results!
I'm also concerned because Kirstie was willing to put her health (and goals) on hold until a network decided they would cover her progress. To me this doesn't bode well. It sounds like the classic, "hey, I'll start tomorrow because today is (fill in the blank.")
Even Oprah seemed skeptical, "you can't lose weight for a network!" Absolutely! We can all be inspired to take control of our lives, to be healthy, and to drop excess fat...for US.
Kirstie waited 7 months for a network. What are you waiting for? What "network" is stopping you from your health and weight loss success? When will you decide that you deserve health, that you CAN have it? Change your mindset--it is the first step to permanent health and weight loss success!
Check in tomorrow when another beautiful star speaks out against diet and exercise...
In April, Kirstie Alley was on the Oprah Winfrey Show claiming she had discovered the secret to weight loss success--and that by Novemeber, she would be back on the show wearing a bikini. (She appeared on the show along with Micheal Hebrenko who also famously yo-yo dieted.)
Well, it is November...Kirstie was back and jokingly had a bikini on over her clothes...as it does not appear that her body has changed much, if at all.
She still believes she has the secret to weight loss success--so what gives? She claims that she had proposed a television show to document her weight loss progress and the networks told her to stop losing weight because that's what they would be paying for. Theoretically the deal was signed just the night before her return visit to Oprah's set.
What do you think? Will she succeed? Will she have success at losing weight? At her show? At both?
People love to see inside glimpses of a celebrity's life...and they love to see that they are human, with foibles and weaknesses, just like "real" people. Given that, and the success of other celebrity reality shows, she has a good chance of a show success.
Is her chance of weight loss success as good? Statistically, no. However, being followed around by cameras all the time might do it...although I hear that after a while you get used to them and don't even "see" them...as hard as I find that to believe, I suppose that is possible. If it is, then the cameras themselves won't be much deterrent or encouragement.
Public accountability for some people is huge...and maybe that is what will be the key for Kirstie's success (I truly hope she has success, in case you aren't sure)...but I am concerned. Get your weight loss inspiration however you can...whatever works for you, as long as it is healthy.
I believe Kirstie CAN lose weight...I know we all can. My concern is that she is setting herself up for another roller coaster ride because she is insisting that it be "fast and fun"...from my experience permanent weight loss can be fun...but it isn't necessarily fast...because you have to make permanent changes to achieve permanent results!
I'm also concerned because Kirstie was willing to put her health (and goals) on hold until a network decided they would cover her progress. To me this doesn't bode well. It sounds like the classic, "hey, I'll start tomorrow because today is (fill in the blank.")
Even Oprah seemed skeptical, "you can't lose weight for a network!" Absolutely! We can all be inspired to take control of our lives, to be healthy, and to drop excess fat...for US.
Kirstie waited 7 months for a network. What are you waiting for? What "network" is stopping you from your health and weight loss success? When will you decide that you deserve health, that you CAN have it? Change your mindset--it is the first step to permanent health and weight loss success!
Check in tomorrow when another beautiful star speaks out against diet and exercise...
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Diet Pills for Teens
This is in response to a 13 year old who wanted to know if she should take diet pills to lose weight because she can't seem to any other way.
Short answer:
Do not take pills to lose weight. I don't believe pills are the answer for ANYONE but especially not when our bodies are still developing and changing...which they are, even if we have reached our full height.
If you have been following my blog at all, you know that there is a longer answer to this question...I always have a longer answer ;-)
The longer answer:
I had trouble losing weight at 13 too...even though I was very active. I rode my bicycle and swam competitively...but I never could seem to be "thin"...my best friend was and she ate terribly and didn't exercise nearly as much. It was so frustrating!
At 13 it is hard to appreciate the differences in our bodies...but as an adult I have come to appreciate that those differences are part of what makes the world (and people) so interesting!
Sometimes we THINK we need to lose weight and we don't...it may be that we are heavier than our friends because of our body structure--our muscles and our bones. Other times we aren't "skinny" and so we think we should lose weight to match some image in our head of what the ideal body looks like. It might just be that we are already at the right weight for us...even if that is a few pounds more than charts say we should be.
Without knowing your situation more it is hard to say if you actually need to lose weight or not...but if you think you do then I know you are pretty unhappy with your body right now no matter what anyone else says.
Please do NOT take pills as tempting as it may be. There is no magic pill that will have you lose weight in a healthy, permanent way.
The best way to have a healthy body is to start by working on your mind...it is important that we learn to love ourselves--our bodies, our abilities, everything. That doesn't mean that we can't strive to be better! It does mean that we deserve to respect ourselves and stop being so critical. Love is where it all starts.
If someone had told me that when I was 13 I would have been like, "what's to love?...I'm fat, my nose is too big, I'm not smart like my brother"...on and on. You know what? Just about every teenager I have ever met has thoughts like that...even the popular ones, the really cute ones.
I'll let you in on a secret...many adults still struggle with these thoughts, too!
I know it is a challenge just being 13...maybe knowing that you aren't alone in this journey will help. I believe you have a wonderful opportunity to learn some positive thinking patterns that will help you NOW and for the rest of your life!
When we truly love ourselves we naturally begin to take better care of ourselves...and then we physically feel better and we create this wonderful loop of health!
In my personal experience...the more I "dieted" the harder it was for me to lose weight. I couldn't keep it up...I couldn't drop enough calories or work out enough to be the same size as my best friend. I didn't get that it was physically impossible--so I just got more and more frustrated. In the end I wound up ADDING weight instead of losing weight. I ate out of frustration and then hated myself more for eating. I set myself up for failure--big time!
That was a long time ago...long before the movie "The Secret"...before books about positive thinking were common. Loving yourself was considered vanity back then...it wasn't understood that self-respect and valuing yourself were (and are) important parts of mental AND physical health.
I encourage you to talk to other people who can support you in believing in yourself. I have several suggestions in the side bar that are great tools...I really like "You Can Heal Your Life"...it isn't just for people with a specific physical illness...it can help all of us to live better, healthier lives. You really can lose weight through positive thinking (presuming that you have weight to lose, of course!) Along the way to achieving the perfect body for you, when you learn to love and accept yourself you will find that life is a much more fun and beautiful place to be...and that is a great thing to learn at any age!
You deserve all the best! Please keep in touch...I'd love to hear about your progress--your successes and challenges. Know that you are loved and that you are a beautiful person--just the way you are right now!
Short answer:
Do not take pills to lose weight. I don't believe pills are the answer for ANYONE but especially not when our bodies are still developing and changing...which they are, even if we have reached our full height.
If you have been following my blog at all, you know that there is a longer answer to this question...I always have a longer answer ;-)
The longer answer:
I had trouble losing weight at 13 too...even though I was very active. I rode my bicycle and swam competitively...but I never could seem to be "thin"...my best friend was and she ate terribly and didn't exercise nearly as much. It was so frustrating!
At 13 it is hard to appreciate the differences in our bodies...but as an adult I have come to appreciate that those differences are part of what makes the world (and people) so interesting!
Sometimes we THINK we need to lose weight and we don't...it may be that we are heavier than our friends because of our body structure--our muscles and our bones. Other times we aren't "skinny" and so we think we should lose weight to match some image in our head of what the ideal body looks like. It might just be that we are already at the right weight for us...even if that is a few pounds more than charts say we should be.
Without knowing your situation more it is hard to say if you actually need to lose weight or not...but if you think you do then I know you are pretty unhappy with your body right now no matter what anyone else says.
Please do NOT take pills as tempting as it may be. There is no magic pill that will have you lose weight in a healthy, permanent way.
The best way to have a healthy body is to start by working on your mind...it is important that we learn to love ourselves--our bodies, our abilities, everything. That doesn't mean that we can't strive to be better! It does mean that we deserve to respect ourselves and stop being so critical. Love is where it all starts.
If someone had told me that when I was 13 I would have been like, "what's to love?...I'm fat, my nose is too big, I'm not smart like my brother"...on and on. You know what? Just about every teenager I have ever met has thoughts like that...even the popular ones, the really cute ones.
I'll let you in on a secret...many adults still struggle with these thoughts, too!
I know it is a challenge just being 13...maybe knowing that you aren't alone in this journey will help. I believe you have a wonderful opportunity to learn some positive thinking patterns that will help you NOW and for the rest of your life!
When we truly love ourselves we naturally begin to take better care of ourselves...and then we physically feel better and we create this wonderful loop of health!
In my personal experience...the more I "dieted" the harder it was for me to lose weight. I couldn't keep it up...I couldn't drop enough calories or work out enough to be the same size as my best friend. I didn't get that it was physically impossible--so I just got more and more frustrated. In the end I wound up ADDING weight instead of losing weight. I ate out of frustration and then hated myself more for eating. I set myself up for failure--big time!
That was a long time ago...long before the movie "The Secret"...before books about positive thinking were common. Loving yourself was considered vanity back then...it wasn't understood that self-respect and valuing yourself were (and are) important parts of mental AND physical health.
I encourage you to talk to other people who can support you in believing in yourself. I have several suggestions in the side bar that are great tools...I really like "You Can Heal Your Life"...it isn't just for people with a specific physical illness...it can help all of us to live better, healthier lives. You really can lose weight through positive thinking (presuming that you have weight to lose, of course!) Along the way to achieving the perfect body for you, when you learn to love and accept yourself you will find that life is a much more fun and beautiful place to be...and that is a great thing to learn at any age!
You deserve all the best! Please keep in touch...I'd love to hear about your progress--your successes and challenges. Know that you are loved and that you are a beautiful person--just the way you are right now!
Monday, August 3, 2009
Healthy Body Starts with Healthy Thoughts
If we want to live a healthy life, to have a healthy body, we must first think healthy thoughts.
I remember when I was first exposed to positive thoughts, affirmations and the power of our thinking. When someone would catch me as I said something negative (like I'm fat, or, what a bad day I was having) I would look at her and say, "Well, it is TRUE"...it may have been true...after all objectively I was fat...or it may have seemed true (the day just was, it wasn't "bad")...the point really was that it wasn't the words, but it was the feeling behind the words that was so important and that kept me stuck.
When I said "I'm fat" I wasn't been detached or objective, commenting on my body shape or physical structure, like I would if I said "I am 5 feet 6 inches tall"...instead there was judgment (a lot of judgment!) built in...I was saying I was "fat" but I felt like fat=ugly, fat=bad, fat=lazy, fat=unloveable, fat=....well, you get the picture!
And I judged the day, when in reality it wasn't bad. I may have had some experiences during the day that frustrated me, or where I because angry or sad...so I said the day was bad. But similar experiences on other days might not have triggered those feelings...so it wasn't even the experience. This proved to me it is totally how I feel about it, and my feelings are based on thoughts and beliefs.
At first this "control" was a bit scary, but the good news is we can change our thoughts. When our thoughts change our feelings, our beliefs, our judgments change, freeing us to start totally fresh.
Two of the tools and teachers that have worked well for me in this process are
The balance is to objectively recognize the situation and learn to love ourselves through it...we might start of judging, but we can change that! We change our thinking and then we change our lives...and our bodies!
I remember when I was first exposed to positive thoughts, affirmations and the power of our thinking. When someone would catch me as I said something negative (like I'm fat, or, what a bad day I was having) I would look at her and say, "Well, it is TRUE"...it may have been true...after all objectively I was fat...or it may have seemed true (the day just was, it wasn't "bad")...the point really was that it wasn't the words, but it was the feeling behind the words that was so important and that kept me stuck.
When I said "I'm fat" I wasn't been detached or objective, commenting on my body shape or physical structure, like I would if I said "I am 5 feet 6 inches tall"...instead there was judgment (a lot of judgment!) built in...I was saying I was "fat" but I felt like fat=ugly, fat=bad, fat=lazy, fat=unloveable, fat=....well, you get the picture!
And I judged the day, when in reality it wasn't bad. I may have had some experiences during the day that frustrated me, or where I because angry or sad...so I said the day was bad. But similar experiences on other days might not have triggered those feelings...so it wasn't even the experience. This proved to me it is totally how I feel about it, and my feelings are based on thoughts and beliefs.
At first this "control" was a bit scary, but the good news is we can change our thoughts. When our thoughts change our feelings, our beliefs, our judgments change, freeing us to start totally fresh.
Two of the tools and teachers that have worked well for me in this process are
- Louise Hay, particularly her book and DVD You Can Heal Your Life
- Esther and Jerry Hicks, specifically, Ask and It is Given
The balance is to objectively recognize the situation and learn to love ourselves through it...we might start of judging, but we can change that! We change our thinking and then we change our lives...and our bodies!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Love Yourself to Lose Weight
The way to start to lose weight--and to keep it off--is by loving yourself.
I don't mean that you are stuck up...or think you are better than anyone else (that isn't love!)...just have an honest love for the being that is YOU...
It is often so much easier for us to love other people than ourselves. We often feel that we don't deserve it. Maybe we even think that "if people only knew the truth, they wouldn't love us"...
Well, lots of people have that thought...and the REAL truth is that we are not perfect AND we are still loveable. Most of us have not done anything that is all that horrible, and the reasons we feel we are not worth of love are pretty superficial, or are false messages that we have ingrained into our heads from childhood!
It is a simple thing...not to be confused with an easy thing...but it does start with love. When we love ourselves we take care of ourselves...after all, we care for things we love, right?
If "love" is too difficult a word, then start with appreciating or respecting yourself...or even start by being open to the possibility that just maybe you ARE worth it.
Look, if you have struggled with your weight and been on lots of diets without success, then what you are doing isn't working...so maybe there is a different way to go about it that will work. This is how I started and I have successfully lost 125lbs, so I KNOW that it works!
Loving yourself is going main stream, too...if you want help remembering to love yourself you can even get a t-shirt that will help remind you! Shirts are available at retailers, if you want to learn more you can visit the site www.loveyourself.com
I don't mean that you are stuck up...or think you are better than anyone else (that isn't love!)...just have an honest love for the being that is YOU...
It is often so much easier for us to love other people than ourselves. We often feel that we don't deserve it. Maybe we even think that "if people only knew the truth, they wouldn't love us"...
Well, lots of people have that thought...and the REAL truth is that we are not perfect AND we are still loveable. Most of us have not done anything that is all that horrible, and the reasons we feel we are not worth of love are pretty superficial, or are false messages that we have ingrained into our heads from childhood!
It is a simple thing...not to be confused with an easy thing...but it does start with love. When we love ourselves we take care of ourselves...after all, we care for things we love, right?
If "love" is too difficult a word, then start with appreciating or respecting yourself...or even start by being open to the possibility that just maybe you ARE worth it.
Look, if you have struggled with your weight and been on lots of diets without success, then what you are doing isn't working...so maybe there is a different way to go about it that will work. This is how I started and I have successfully lost 125lbs, so I KNOW that it works!
Loving yourself is going main stream, too...if you want help remembering to love yourself you can even get a t-shirt that will help remind you! Shirts are available at retailers, if you want to learn more you can visit the site www.loveyourself.com
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