Caregivers Gaining Weight

I was at a meeting for caregivers the other day and several of the women there mentioned that they were upset at themselves for the extra 15 pounds they are carrying.

We are all caring for ailing parents which is a challenge and is emotionally taxing.

Of course it is important that we take care of ourselves and our own health--for us, our families and the loved ones we are caring for. It won't help any of us if we, the caregiver, end up sick and needing to receive care!

Naturally then it is important that we have healthy habits if we want to have a healthy life. What is not important is how many pounds we weigh or what size we are.

I found that many of us are carrying excessive weight because of emotional eating--using food for reasons other than the fuel we need. Certainly food can (and arguably should) play a roll in our celebrations and social events, but we need to learn to feel our feelings and express them rather than stuffing them down with a side of extra large fries or a pint of ice cream (my personal favorite.)

This is especially true when we are in stressful, emotionally charged situations. We don't want to gain additional weight...and if we have put on some extra padding we want to halt that trend.

Becoming aware of what we are doing and beginning to eat consciously is a start.

By recognizing that we are reaching for food instead of allowing the tears to flow we give ourselves the opportunity to choose. And we must make that choice daily, in fact, we must make that choice multiple times each and every day.

This is a time for us to be gentle on ourselves. We are human and if we are emotional eaters, by golly we are probably going to overeat at times like these. But we deserve to recognize what is going on and stop beating ourselves up over it!

Even Bees Are What They Eat

"Red" an interesting article today about bees...now I'm not much into bees but the headline got me

Bees turn red from cherry juice

Turns out a bunch of bees in New York have been sipping on runoff from a Maraschino Cherry plant and it is having an effect. The bees are turning red although whether the cherry juice is coating the bees or they are actually changing color from the inside out is not clear.

One thing that is for sure is the honey the bees are producing is actually red.

What is actually turning the bees and the honey red is not cherries, per se, but the Red Dye No. 40 that is used in the making of Maraschino Cherries.

Bees don't have very long lives, so the effect of what they drink shows up pretty quickly.

With people it takes longer. That can be the bad news--by the time the effects show up it might be too late to do anything about it. But it can also be the very good news! We have time to correct our behavior and change the outcome!

All it takes is small changes in our behavior to have a huge impact on our lives. Most of us look at the prospect of losing weight as, OMG I have to lose 25 pounds or 50 pounds or 100 pounds, or whatever is the total number of pounds we want to lose and figuring we have got to go on a massive diet--or it is so overwhelming why the heck should I bother? Instead, we deserve to shift our mindset about weight loss and look at the small steps. If we are conscious about our behavior and make small changes then we must achieve our weight loss goals!

For me, I'll pass on the Maraschino Cherries and the diet!

Putting On Weight Like a Hibernating Bear?

It is natural for us to put on a few extra pounds every winter...and if you are one of the lucky ones who drops it every spring then there isn't a lot to worry about. After all, a couple of pounds won't hurt your health much and just might help keep you a bit warmer.

However, if you are like me and the weight only seems to move automatically in one direction, that is ON, then you have to really be aware of what is happening. Otherwise every year you just get a bit fatter and fatter. And because "a couple of pounds" is easy to ignore, it is quite possible to let the weight creep up to an unhealthy level in a few years.

If you aren't going into hibernation then there is no need to pack on extra pounds...so what can we do about it? I used to think it was inevitable that I gained **ahem** a "few" pounds every winter. I had to work on changing that thought process. With a new mindset I have been able to conquer that demon on my way to weight loss success!

The best thing is to start being aware NOW before the really cold weather sets in and the holidays are upon us. Make a plan today so that you are ready to tackle all the tricks and treats that are heading our weigh...er, way.

Because temperatures are warmer we tend to want to eat more to keep our body's furnace going. Rather than eating MORE, eat smaller amounts but MORE OFTEN. By eating 5 or 6 small meals every day you actually burn more calories than if you eat the same amount of food in 3 (or fewer) sittings.

It is especially important that we eat breakfast in the cooler months so that we get those furnaces started in the morning. Then with our mini-meals we keep the furnace stoked all day long.

Foods that are high in fat and sugar are readily available this time of year, but they are not giving us the nutrients we need to keep our bodies healthy and they pack in a lot of calories.

Being conscious about our eating will allow us to enjoy a special treat once in a while but keep us on track to eat mostly healthy foods. When you do partake in a treat, whether it be the Halloween candy, Thanksgiving pie or Christmas cookies, give yourself permission to have a serving. Put it on a plate or in a bowl. And then really pay attention to the food and enjoy the flavors and textures.

For more holiday eating tips, refer to past posts about planning for the holidays and losing weight during the holidays (see the blog labels in the right hand column as a reference.)

Will Yoga Make Me Skinny?

Does yoga help you become thin and lean? Or do people who tend to be lean gravitate towards yoga?

Interesting question.

I'm always fascinated by people who claim their type of exercise will help people have longer, leaner muscles. Since I have short extremities relative to my torso, that has appealed to me. I was always envious of the girls who had delicate builds, looked like they never worked out, and yet were extremely powerful.

I have known these types of girls and women...and they have done a variety of exercises. Some did yoga, some preferred pilates, some swam, and others lifted weights. So I don't believe there is any one "magic" exercise.

Can the exercises we do influence how our muscles appear? Sure, but most women do not need to worry about "bulking up" with just a 15-30 minute routine every day...so take one worry off your mind and focus on finding what you enjoy doing.

Try yoga. It has lots of health benefits besides exercise. There are lots of different types of yoga so be willing to look at a variety before you decide if you like it or not. If you are overweight then yoga can pose some challenges (is that a groan I hear???) but with proper guidance you may be able to participate and gain some strength, flexibility and balance while being gentle on your joints.

If you are significantly overweight then you may be able to modify some of the yoga routines and get some benefit. If getting up and down is difficult, work with someone who will help you adapt yoga to your current abilities...even if it means you start with limited positions and work on your bed or a couch.

What I like about yoga is the calmness, the meditative quality. But for me, yoga is best when I am with a group. I actually get too impatient with it by myself. Plus right now I don't want to take the time...I like my daily 15 minutes instead. But that's just me--it doesn't make it wrong or right.

Here is one theory behind why people who practice yoga tend to be thinner...a current study suggest that these folks are more in touch with their bodies and that carries over to eating.

Whether you decide you enjoy yoga or not, being in touch with our bodies is an important lesson that we all deserve to learn. I often talk about eating consciously...and that is what this is really all about. Eating consciously, really thinking about what we eat, when, why and how much we eat is a huge shift for most overweight people.

Will yoga help you to be eat more consciously? I don't believe the study really addresses that...there really is still the chicken or the egg question...are people who practice yoga more inclined to eat consciously because of yoga or are they drawn to yoga because they are already more in touch with their bodies?

What I found more valuable in the study is that it showed that people who are more conscious about their eating weigh less...have a lower BMI (body mass index.)

This makes sense and is what I talk about often...and was the biggest shift in my mindset that enabled me to successfully drop 125lbs. When you eat, focus on eating...work on changing your mindset...become aware of the food that is going into your mouth. Stop the habit of mindlessly eating...whether that is chewing gum, munching on carrots sticks or downing Oreos. Bring your awareness to what you are doing and you will be surprised at how you can easily eat less.

It starts with being aware. For a week, use a food journal to track what you eat and drink. Don't try to change your intake...just write it down so you really know what you are currently doing. That is the first step.

Will yoga make you thin? I doubt it. It didn't make me thin. But it does cause you to slow down, get some deep breaths in, stretch and builds muscles. None of those are bad things. So give it a try. But remember, it is what you are doing in your mind that is going to make the biggest difference. Combine mindful eating with moving more and you have the 3 Ms of weight loss success: mindset, movement and mouth. That's the real secret to achieving a healthy body, permanently!

Unmasking Sugar For Weight Loss Success

Sugar of course is the simplist carbohydrate and it has lots of nasty effects on the body. Besides being pretty much empty calories which doesn't help our desire to be svelte, sugar raises our blood sugar levels which can lead to diabetes.

Not only that but there are many other health issues associated with eating too much sugar. But food manufacturers are smart--they know a lot of people will look for "sugar" on the label. There are lots of different types of sugars that can be put into our foods. Some don't even sound like sugar--so even if you read labels you might not realize how much you are consuming.

The best way to defend yourself against these sugars is to read the labels--and know what to look for! Awareness is the first step to successfully beating the sugar blues, the sugar highs, and the not-so-sweet expanding waistline!

So here is a list of some of the common, and not so common "sugars" that can be found in foods.

The usual suspects:
sugar, brown sugar, powdered sugar, cane sugar, corn syrup, honey, molasses and maple syrup.

Other sugars:
evaporated cane juice, malted corn syrup, malted barley syrup, any thing "syrup"

The less well known:
dextrose, fructose, lactose and maltose

Are they sugars or not?:
xylitol, sorbitol, annitol, malitol

This last category is not required by the FDA to be labeled as a sugar--and in fact can be in things that are labeled as being sugar free. One of the most common places they are found is in chewing gum. But they are made of sugar molecules with an attached alcohol molecule. They still are carbohydrates, but with this extra molecule they aren't absorbed by the body as easily. Because they aren't absorbed easily they may cause some, um, let's just say discomfort.

Yes they are fattening

Corn syrup and high-fructose corn syrup is frequently used in place of table sugar--it can be found in most store bought candies, soft drinks and baked goods. Not only is corn syrup sweet and loaded with calories, the body processes it differently from table sugar and it actually is more likely to converted into body fat!

Affects cholesterol

To top it off, corn syrup has been shown to raise LDL cholesterol (that is the number you want to be low.)

Actually create cravings!

Many of these sugars have an addictive type quality...they actually affect our taste buds and make our tongues (and brains) want more sweet stuff. This is why our challenge is not about will power! There really are foods that create the desire and cravings in us.

Make us MORE hungry!

I remember Dr. Oz discussing ghrelin on the Oprah show...this is a hormone that stimulates hunger. The opposite hormone, the one that suppresses hunger is called leptin. Well, fructose causes a drop in leptin AND an increase in ghrelin. No wonder we feel more hungry when we eat sweets!

Tastes great, less filling

Sugars don't fill us up, so even if they didn't have the other downsides, you will naturally eat more food if you eat a lot of sugary foods.

Best health and weight loss success tip

Eat as many whole foods as you can...things that actually grow, rather than have to be packaged. As you increase your intake of complex carbohydrates and reduce the simple carbs you will be amazed at how your tastes will begin to change.

It doesn't mean you will have to give up all sugar forever. The best news is that once you get off the sugar-go-round you will be able to have some treats without setting off the cravings. So you will be able to have your cake and eat it too!

Diet Foods Suck

OK...I'm being blunt, but really most diet foods suck.

Why?

Because people think that if they eat/drink them they will lose weight.

Guess what! They don't work!

Some are benign, some are harmful...some are pure junk, some are not bad...but few, if any, actually help you lose weight in the long run.

They Don't Address the Real Issue

Diet foods typically will either contain fewer calories or less sugar or less fat...and "less" may not be much less...read the labels, sometimes "less calories" is achieved by decreasing the portion size!

For most people who struggle with their weight the few calories saved by eating diet foods is not the answer. The real issue is our attitude about ourselves, our bodies, being fat...the real issue is in our minds.

Diet Foods Reinforce Unhealthy Eating Behaviors

One of the issues I have faced in my life is using food for emotional reasons rather than for feeding my body. I have stuffed down emotions rather than face them. Food as soother. Food as drug. I know I am not alone in this. I've heard other people also refer to food as their "drug of choice"...even Oprah says this.

One of the biggest changes we can make that will affect our weight is to develop other behaviors to deal with our emotions. Things other than eating. One of the challenges is to develop a HEALTHY response, not to just replace one unhealthy response with another one.

In other words, I don't want to start smoking when I am stressed rather than eating. OK, obvious example in order to make a point. Some other unhealthy habits to avoid...excessive shopping, over-exercising, excessive sex...any "addiction" that you substitute for eating is just that--a substitute. You may become slender by substituting a different addiction...or you may just end up having 2 addictions instead of one. A more permanent solution is to deal with WHY you are eating in the first place.

They Don't Allow Us To Change Our Habits

If we are used to grabbing food because we are bored, lonely, unhappy, stressed (the list goes on...and on) changing the food we grab from cookies to carrots may seem like a good choice. While I would say it is a better choice to choose carrots over the diet cookies on the market, it is still enabling us to maintain the unconscious eating habit...which when the emotions are really strong, or we get tired of munching on carrots, will come back to bite us in the fat behind!

Sometimes our eating is just habit. We're not even thinking about it. It isn't that we are particularly stressed out or unhappy...we just used to having the pretzels or candy or cookies or fruit or whatever it is...and if it is there we eat it.

So we save a few calories now, but don't change our habits. That means when/if we drop the weight we want, we probably will revert to eating foods we prefer...and BAM the weight flies back on!

They Don't Change Our Tastes

Diet foods don't taste the same as the "real" deal, but they generally still taste sweet or like chips or whatever food it is you crave. By indulging in these we never allow our tastes to change. We will continue to think cookies or chips are the best snack. Again, once the "diet" is over we will tend to revert to full calorie versions...and we gain weight back.

They Actually Get Us Wanting MORE Sweets

There is scientific evidence that artificial sweeteners actually increase our desire for more sweets. It is both psychological and physical response. You may feel more hunger and have increased cravings. Hmmm...not a good deal in my book!

We End Up Eating More

This is psychological, but it has been documented...when we see that something has 1/2 the fat or only 100 calories for example, we will tend to eat a larger quantity of the food. Often we will eat significantly more and actually end up consuming more fat and calories than if we had just eaten the original food in the first place.

For me one of the big issues was learning portion control--learning to feel satisfied BEFORE I felt stuffed! Diet foods don't help with that issue.

Ice Cream is my biggest treat. I love it. I also find that when I buy the 1/2 fat variety I want to eat much, much more. It just isn't as satisfying. It's not that it tastes bad...it actually tastes pretty good--at least some do. But it isn't the same. It doesn't have the same richness, the mouth feel...I am not as satisfied with the "diet" version.

I am better off with the full-flavored fully loaded calorie original. I can have a smaller portion and feel like I'm getting a real treat. Then I am encouraged to really savor all the flavors, the full experience. I don't feel like I'm being deprived or short-changed...

Bottom Line--Eat Real Food

Some "diet" foods are more chemical than food. I believe our health is best served by eating as "real" as we can...real food with real ingredients. If I can't pronounce it, I try not to eat it! The scientists may claim our bodies can't tell the difference (or maybe it is just the advertisers' claiming that!) but my experience says otherwise.

Choose real food for real health.
Develop new habits to replace emotional eating.
Get to know WHY you want to eat...and why you want to lose weight.

I know that it is possible...and that there is no "magic bullet", no elixir that melts pounds away, no temporary system that gives permanent results. The permanent fix is between your ears...and it isn't your mouth!

Our minds are so incredible and that is where the real solution resides.

I Said I Was Ugly

Back in high school (that was a long time ago)...long before we knew about the Law of Attraction I remember when I would say I was ugly. My best friend said she didn't think I really believed it, because she could see that I was beautiful, and if I was really ugly it would show.

Interesting...

I believe what happened is that I repeated the negative affirmations of "I am ugly" and "I am fat" so often that it was a belief which became true...I became fat and later when "fat" wasn't ugly enough, I became obese. For me, being "ugly" was a statement that I was not lovable, that people wouldn't be attracted to me...

This meant my "job" later was to change that belief. I had to become aware when I made negative affirmations in order to change that pattern.

It is easier to change our thoughts before they become ingrained--if you catch yourself saying a negative affirmation like "I am ugly" or "I am so fat" then stop yourself now. Each time we catch ourselves and stop the negative affirmation it helps break the pattern and reduces the likelihood of it manifesting.

If you affirm "I am ugly", you will be given the opportunity to live that--no matter how beautiful you are physically from birth.

Perhaps like me you will become fat. Or perhaps you will become angry or bitter...ugly on the inside. Or perhaps you will become ill or have an accident or hurt yourself.

None of these are pleasant ideas...and of course our true beauty is on the inside, but that doesn't mean that we have to be ugly on the outside just to prove a point!

Let us all live our most beautiful, healthy lives...inside and out! This takes getting our mindset in the right place so that we are using this powerful tool for health and weight loss instead of illness and weight gain.

Repeat after me: I am healthy, I am happy, I am beautiful, I am willing to change my past beliefs about my body and myself!

Take small steps every day to change your mindset and you will have success! Be gentle with yourself while doing this. None of us gained weight overnight--even though sometimes it feels like it! It took time to develop those negative patterns. The good news is that by being aware, we can change them and create new, positive patterns!

Once more with feeling! I am healthy, I am happy, I am beautiful, I am willing to change my past beliefs about my body and myself!

Healthy Body Starts with Healthy Thoughts

If we want to live a healthy life, to have a healthy body, we must first think healthy thoughts.

I remember when I was first exposed to positive thoughts, affirmations and the power of our thinking. When someone would catch me as I said something negative (like I'm fat, or, what a bad day I was having) I would look at her and say, "Well, it is TRUE"...it may have been true...after all objectively I was fat...or it may have seemed true (the day just was, it wasn't "bad")...the point really was that it wasn't the words, but it was the feeling behind the words that was so important and that kept me stuck.

When I said "I'm fat" I wasn't been detached or objective, commenting on my body shape or physical structure, like I would if I said "I am 5 feet 6 inches tall"...instead there was judgment (a lot of judgment!) built in...I was saying I was "fat" but I felt like fat=ugly, fat=bad, fat=lazy, fat=unloveable, fat=....well, you get the picture!

And I judged the day, when in reality it wasn't bad. I may have had some experiences during the day that frustrated me, or where I because angry or sad...so I said the day was bad. But similar experiences on other days might not have triggered those feelings...so it wasn't even the experience. This proved to me it is totally how I feel about it, and my feelings are based on thoughts and beliefs.

At first this "control" was a bit scary, but the good news is we can change our thoughts. When our thoughts change our feelings, our beliefs, our judgments change, freeing us to start totally fresh.

Two of the tools and teachers that have worked well for me in this process are

• Louise Hay, particularly her book and DVD You Can Heal Your Life
• Esther and Jerry Hicks, specifically, Ask and It is Given

Of course being aware of a situation can be an important part of our ability to change it. We can't really lose our excess fat if we don't believe we are overweight...if we are happy with our body where it is.

The balance is to objectively recognize the situation and learn to love ourselves through it...we might start of judging, but we can change that! We change our thinking and then we change our lives...and our bodies!

Wash Away the Fat

I was washing my face this morning and had a realization...how many times when I wash my face am I looking for the imperfections? Instead of focusing on what is "wrong" in the mirror, how about I put my attention on what is "right?"

I like to do affirmations in the mirror...I do that most days. This morning I did not...because I was enamored of the sunrise, so I did my mini workout and affirmations in the glory of the view outside.

So when I went to wash my face, it was my first "visit" with my image today. I noticed that my first reaction was to be self-critical! Wow! That was an eye-opener! I've been working at being loving towards myself and positive...and still these thoughts do come up.

Was it because I had not already done affirmations in the mirror that the less-than-positive thoughts came up? Or was I just more aware of my thoughts this morning.

I'm going to guess that my awareness level was up...

Fortunately, because I was aware I was able to change my thoughts right then.

This is my goal whenever I have any thought that is less-than...of course sometimes I am more successful at it than others, but it is a great goal.

I apply this process to my image--not just my face, but my entire body. That is one of the main ways I have been able to lose 125 pounds. Weight loss and mindset really do work together! When I think that I ugly or notice some fat that is hanging around and feel negative about it...when I do that, it tends to hang around longer!

On the other hand, when I notice some fat and recognize that it is just a remnant of some past thoughts and focus on the strength and health of my body...then I notice that the fat tends to release and disappear. And in the meantime, I feel emotionally a lot better--talk about a win-win situation!

Losing weight through positive attitude and positive thinking is possible. It may not happen overnight, but it will provide you with lasting health. Sometimes losing weight starts with washing your face!

Letting Go Leads to Lightness

Continuing on with the story of my cleaning up the basement and how that is similar to my weight loss story...

Sunday I found it easy to sort through the documents and photos...I kept a handful that had special meaning and the rest went either into recycling or the trash.

It felt so wonderful when I went to the recycling center and dropped off 3 large boxes and bags of papers. It was a bit sad that photos end up in the landfill...double prints seem to be the environmental equivalent of "super size me!"

I feel lighter and more positive as a result of this housecleaning. THis is how I feel when I take care of my body by eating well and moving more.

Since I don't believe in coincidences I KNOW there is a connection. I let go of "stuff" Sunday...and the emotional attachment to the stuff...this allowed me to lighten my literal load as well.

I started Sunday doing forgiveness exercises and so I started psychically lighter...and then I finished physically lighter.

That is a direct correlation to how it has worked with my weight loss success! Start with the mind and the body follows!

Ego Keeps Itself Safe and You Fat

Eckhart Tolle teaches us that our ego's job is to survive and therefore it will do just about anything to do that...including having us play "roles" that may not serve us in the long-run. Playing these roles can lead to overeating...continued from yesterday's post...Fattening Roles to Drop

When I would overeat (aka binge) I would then tell myself I was stupid or I had no willpower or that I was a fat slob. Those were all judgments, not facts.

Now if I feel the urge to stuff my face, I can look behind that feeling and (sometimes) figure out WHY. Turns out it isn’t because of some giant personal flaw! Typically I find that when I have this temptation it is because I am doing something that doesn’t feel good or authentically me...or I am not taking care of myself and am over fatigued.

At that point, the point I realize this, I have the opportunity to choose. I can choose to be more authentically me in the best way I can, given the situation. I can choose to separate the situation from myself by recognizing that it just IS...and that my thoughts and emotions are independent of it, and then I can work to change how I’m feeling...as Abraham teaches to “reach for a better feeling thought.” Or I can choose to suppress my feelings by drugging myself, whether that is with food, alcohol, drugs or even over exercising!

What helped me when I did choose to overeat in order to hide from my feelings was to consciously acknowledge that was what I was doing. I would literally say out loud “I know that I am eating to push down my feelings of fear (or discomfort or pain or anger) and I give myself permission to do this...this is a way I have developed to protect myself and right now, at this moment, it does serve me”

By giving myself permission to overeat I accomplished 2 things. 1) I tended to actually eat less and 2) I stopped beating myself up for doing it!

This is a wonderful place to start. From here it is possible to build up other coping skills.

This may sound strange, but I am actually grateful for my past overeating and the fat that resulted from it. Why? Because I know this was a tool that I used, one that my ego developed, to protect itself. It kept me alive at times. It also was, admittedly, a way for me to get some attention that my ego obviously wanted.

I no longer want that attention and I no longer need fat to protect me. But when I didn’t know anything else, my fat shielded me and helped keep me safe. How can I possibly be angry about that? I was doing the absolute best I could at the time.

Our minds and bodies are incredibly amazing things. They will work extremely diligently to keep us alive...they will creatively find ways to get this done...that is their number one priority.

It is OUR job to be as conscious as possible so we are in control of how we are living. When we actively choose our actions, our thoughts and thereby our emotions, then we can truly have the healthy, slender body that we are designed to have...and that we all deserve.

Fattening Roles (Not Rolls) to Drop

What roles are you playing and how does that affect your weight?

“In many cases, happiness is a role people play, and behind the smiling façade, there is a great deal of pain”

Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

This is a common role in the US where sadness and anger are not acceptable. We ask “how are you?” or “How’s it going?” but we don’t really want an honest answer...it is really a long way of saying “hi.”

We can become so immersed in this role that we aren’t even aware of our own unhappiness. Sometimes this role is magnified by other roles we take on like, “The good girl” or the “perfect wife and mother”. These are common roles for women who struggle with their weight.

We want to be liked and approved of...Tolle teaches that this is the ego—a very natural response. The trouble with this desire is that we often allow it to overshadow our true selves. When our efforts to please others, or to be perfect, or to be liked, cut us off from our true inner nature we will at some point rebel...and either punish or comfort ourselves someway...or both.

For me, this was accomplished by overeating and drinking. I was not being authentic, so my falseness and my dishonesty was quite stressful... I use food to calm myself and I got fat too, as a way of proving to myself and the world that I wasn’t perfect.

Tolle tells us to acknowledge our feelings, even the ‘negative’ ones. In the teachings of Abraham we are also taught his. Don’t pretend to be happy if you are not.

Figure out why you are having these feelings. Is there a situation that is influencing the emotion? Can you do anything about it? Can you remove yourself form the circumstance? If you cannot literally remove yourself then perhaps you can do it mentally.

The events around us do not CAUSE our emotions. We are 100% responsible for them. If we choose to keep thinking negative thoughts about an event and therefore feel bad about it...well, that’s up to us.

Our challenge is to keep the situation—the actual facts—distinct from our thoughts about it. Our thoughts lead to our feelings, you see?

Stuffing ourselves with food in order to suppress our emotions does not allow us to separate from them. In fact we will, consciously or not, create more negative feelings as a result. This is the key reason emotional eating leads to obesity.

By breaking that pattern and observing our emotions and the triggers of them we can free ourselves from the unhappiness that pushes us to overeat.

continued tomorrow

Weight Loss Insights from a New Perspective: Up on the Roof

I was up on the roof the other day...we had a minor leak that I figured I could handle. Believe me, getting up on the roof is much easier now that I have 120 fewer pounds to hoist up there! And I am a lot less concerned about falling through!

Oh, I digress! The point was really that this experience gave me a couple of insights.

Insight #1

Just about anything can remind me of food!

Possibly this is partly because I am always looking for things I can blog about...but I also know that I have always had a strong visual connection with food.

Some people have thoughts triggered by smells or sounds, but my biggest trigger is sight.

That is why even now where I can have food in the house I find I feel more tempted if I SEE the food. So I put things on higher shelves or deeper back in the freezer, so they are “out of sight out of mind.”

Anyway, even the tar that I put on the roof reminded me of food! As I applied it I thought it was like frosting a cake...and I also noted the consistency was more like brownie batter.

What was great about this insight was the realization that I noticed the observation but was not consumed by it. I was detached from it and therefore I did not start craving either cake or brownies.

Insight #2

More is not always better.

I found in applying the tar that I could really ladle it on thick. But when I did that it tended to ooze out to places I didn’t want.

What worked better was several thinner applications and taking some time to allow each layer to settle.

In the end, the total amount of tar used was maybe the same...but the end result was much better.

I find this is true for eating as well. When I choose to eat large quantities at one time, I feel uncomfortable, bloated...and fat literally oozes in places where I don’t want it—on my body!

If I eat smaller amounts more frequently, the total amount may be the same, but by giving my body and mind time to let it settle I process it better. The end result is that I feel and look better.

Like the roof that does its job of keep things dry when I apply several thin coats of tar, my body does its job of keeping me energized when I feed it several smaller meals throughout the day.

Coffee: Love it or Leave it

I really, really, really like coffee. I mean, I love my coffee. I guess you could say I feel pretty strongly about coffee...

I had my first sips of coffee when I was just 2 years old. Drinking the drops left by adults visiting my parents made this laid-back kid just a bit (!) more hyper.

I didn't start a coffee habit at two, but I do believe the groundwork was probably laid back then.

My first espresso machine was purchased in the 1970s while I was in college. At one point I was literally quite addicted to coffee. I could have...no, it is more accurate to say I had to have...two large espressos (no little demi-tasse for me) before I went to sleep. Then in the morning two more to chase away the headache from lack of caffeine during the night.

I no longer drink such vast amounts of coffee. I have one cup...still, a very large one, not a "regular" mug...pretty much every morning. Occasionally I will have a second. As much as I love the flavor and the experience I know that my body doesn't react well if I have more than that so I resist the temptation to grab a third or fourth.

What has changed about my coffee habit is my consciousness--my mindset about coffee. I used to drink coffee all day long like it was water and as a fuel. Completely unconscious about the quantity I was consuming. It was a zero calorie drink...that was the excuse when I first started.

Of course that went out the window when I started adding milk to my coffee after a trip to Europe where I was exposed to cafe au lait, lattes and cappucinos.

The truth was I liked the flavor and I really liked the energy boost I got from the caffeine. I am still less than hyper and the jolt helped me feel more alive, more productive, more like everyone else in my family!

These days I savor my coffee much more. I don't just have coffee while I'm at my desk working. I enjoy the coffee in the morning. I may be reading...or watching a video...usually some positive affirmations or positive thinking...my personal development time. It is not so much about caffeine...I drink a blend that is very low in caffeine...I enjoy the taste, the feel of the coffee in my mouth and the smell as it reaches my nose just before the liquid touches my tongue.

Ahh.

I know that coffee may not be "the best thing" for me to drink, but my philosophy is that there are no forbidden foods. I know that if I deprive myself then I will tend to go overboard and binge down the road. So I choose to have these treats.

Coffee for me is a treat and a ritual...and a very conscious decision.

You may not like coffee...but there is probably something that you have been told you "shouldn't" have (even if you just told yourself that) but that you get a lot of pleasure out of.

Instead of making that off-limits, consider making it a very special part of your day. Or maybe it is a special once a week treat. Make it a celebration and savor every moment of it. Enjoy the tastes, the smells, the texture...as well as the experience. What steps do you take to prepare it? Incorporate those steps into the enjoyment process. visualize yourself enjoying the experience and allow yourself to anticipate it.

By elevating some simple pleasures in this way we give ourselves a more complete experience. We allow all of our senses to experience the event as well as the food or beverage. This enables us to be more fully satisfied with less than we would if just grabbed it by rote.

Bottom line, my suggestion is to love what you are drinking or eating. Savor it. Celebrate it. Or leave it alone!

Self Acceptance Key for Weight Loss

I am really enjoying being on Twitter. If you haven't already gotten an account, go out to Twitter and sign up now. (If you have questions about how to get started let me know--but relax, it is really easy!)

One of the reasons I like Twitter is that I have been able to meet some fantastic people from around the world--people I would never have had the chance to cross paths with otherwise.

One of the great "Tweeps" I have met is Karen Anderson. Her thoughts about weight loss and fitness are fantastic and I want to share them with you. Following is a snippet from a blog post that she wrote that I thought was exceptional. At the end of the "teaser" I've included a link so you can read more that this wise woman wrote (OK, it should be has written but I like the way this sounds!)

In Quest for Health, Self-Acceptance Comes First

...as 2008 came to a close, I was in a pretty bad place. Deep down inside I knew that more than anything, more than a diet or a magic pill, what I needed was to love and accept myself.

Then I heard about a class being offered by a local registered nurse and holistic health counselor. Called “Living Lighter: A Holistic Approach to Weight Loss,” the 12-week class was described this way: “get motivated and find inspiration to keep you on track; leave with tools to help you through your week, including menus, logs, and reminders; learn how to keep your metabolism on all day; let go of the emotional blocks that stand in your way; learn self hypnosis techniques to get your subconscious mind in line with, and supportive of, what you really want; and get started on some physical movement, including isotonic exercises, tai chi, hula-hooping and more.”

My first reaction was, “But I know all of that already! I know how to count calories. I know what healthy food is. I don’t need menus, and I exercise at least five times a week.”

My second reaction was, “yeah, I know all that, but I don’t want to do it.” So the idea of being able to let go of emotional blocks and get my subconscious mind in line with what I really want, attracted me.

I signed up for the class, but many of my old fears surfaced: I was afraid to set a goal and I was afraid it wouldn’t work. I was, at the same time, accepting of practical advice, but also resistant to it. I was not, however, afraid of doing the emotional work. In fact, doing the emotional work resulted in my blog – Why Weight: One Woman’s Journey From Struggle To Acceptance.

Karen's blog is Why Weight: One Woman’s Journey From Struggle To Acceptance
This specific post was written as a guest post to another great blog FitWoman.com, you can read the entire post by clicking HERE.

One of the things that resonates with me about this post is how Karen realized that her emotions were her biggest stumbling block to her weight success. I love how she finally accepted that she had fears and was willing to move forward anyway. How many times have I faced these fears and allowed them to be stronger than my desire for health? It is something we have all done...all of us who are on this journey to health!

I also appreciate her willingness to state that she KNEW what to do already but hadn't been actually DOING it. That is a boat we frequently find ourselves in. Finding the motivation to do what we know is best for us is so frequently the key to our ultimate success!

Thanks Karen for sharing your words and wisdom with me and the world. I know I am better off for having met you...

BTW, you can follow me on Twitter, my handle is Laurie_Tossy. I look forward to hearing from you.

Tweet ya later!

Relax, Refuse to Diet and Let the Sunshine In

Whatever action you take in a state of negativity will create more outer resistance and the universe will not be on your side.

If the shutters are closed, the sunlight cannot come in.

When you yield internally, when you surrender, a new dimension of consciousness opens up. If action is possible or necessary, your action will be in alignment with the whole and supported by creative intelligence.

Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

When we diet becase we "should" we are approaching our health from a state of negativity. Everything seems harder. Our cravings may increase, we may have more aches and pains or injuries. We may find more situations come up that seem to thwart our goals.

When we come from a state of peace about ourselves, wanting the best health, to be in alignment with our inner being, then these challenges seem to melt away.

Do they actually appear less often? Are we just less aware of them? Or are we better able to handle them when they do arise?

I can't say for certain and to me it really doesn't matter. It FEELS like they come up less and that they are less strong when they do.

I notice that thte times when I have the biggest challenges in maintaining my healthy choices, these are the times when I feel my aches and pains more, or when I feel the pull to overeat. These tend to be the times when I have "too much to do" and neglect my spirit.

Maybe I don't do my affirmations. Perhaps I don't stretch my body. Or I don't sit in quiet. I might not write.

When I don't do the things that feed my soul, when I am not being that person, that is when the "Old Laurie" shows up and brings with her doubt and fear.

I am so blessed to have wonderful friends, family and teachers who help me to recognize when she arrives so I can send her on her way before she unpacks all her baggage!

Abraham-Hicks on the Ease of Losing Weight When We Let Go

A friend just shared this video with me and I had to turn around and put it up right away!

I love Abraham-Hicks and have recommended "Ask and It is Given" for a long time. I have applied many of the principles taught by Abraham to my own body and weight loss and know that it is this shift in my mental energy and thoughts that have allowed me to easily lose 120 pounds.

Watch as Abraham responds to a woman who, like so many of us, has tried "every diet" without success...



There are people out there who believe weight loss is a simple math equation...many of us know otherwise. I found this video to be very reaffirming, confirming and inspirational. I hope to hear how this woman is doing!

Fear Makes You Fat

For some reason fear seems to be coming up for me a lot this week...my own fears, other peoples' fears, how to deal with fears, irrational and rational fears...

Whenever I see a pattern like that I really try to take a step back and see if there is something that I am supposed to be learning...maybe something I haven't gotten or have forgotten.

I came up with a couple things as related to weight loss and body image that I want to share with you. Maybe some of this will "speak" to you too...maybe not...but I'd love to hear your comments.

I have been writing a book...or at least notes for a book...about my experiences regarding weight. It pisses me off when people are told that it is practically impossible to lose weight permanently...or that it is next to impossible for women of a *ahem* certain age to lose weight.

Why does that make me mad? Because I know it isn't true...I've done it...well, I guess since I'm still alive I can't really claim "permanent" weight loss!

So what does this have to do with fear? I'll tell you...

As excited as I am to help people and to share my story, as angry as I might get at the "nay sayers", I have some fears about writing my book. The voice in my head goes something like this, "What if the book stinks? Who do you really think you are to write a book--you're not an author? What if people don't read it? What if people read it and hate it? What if, what if, what if..."

My friend Erik Stafford wrote in his blog about his own fears this week. What caused the fear was completely different, but what was striking was the similarity in that we were experiencing fear about things over which we have NO CONTROL! That is what makes the fear irrational.

I can't control who does or doesn't read my book, or whether they like it or not. The only thing I can control is if I write the book or not! If I choose to let fear take control it won't get written and then no one will ever read it--whether it would be helpful to them or not!

OK, I think you get that point.

Don't let fear over what you can't control take control over your life. For me, I am taking the bull by the horns and I am setting aside time to focus on writing my book. I have enlisted help from friends and mentors. I am researching what I need to know so my lack of information about the process doesn't hold me back.

You don't have to want to write a book...your fears may be about something entirely different. What we all deserve to do is to live our lives the best we can and to move forward despite our fears. Sometimes BECAUSE of our fears! When we get too comfortable then maybe we aren't growing.

I believe that when we push down our dreams and goals out of fear we are closing off a huge portion of who we are at our very core. My experience shows me that when I do that I tend to overeat. In an attempt to self-medicate...to feel better...I go for food as my drug of choice.

That doesn't serve me emotionally in the long-run and it sure doesn't help my health!

So I really want to thank everyone who mentioned fears this week for helping me to have an "Ah ha moment" and pay close attention to my own. And I want to thank a couple of great teachers who had specific lessons that showed up for me this week that centered around this issue (isn't life great how that works out!) Cheryl Richardson and Bob Jenkins--thanks for your wisdom and insight and showing me the tools I need to take this next step on my journey!

Check the next post for the other weight loss/body image related fear that came to mind this week...I bet a lot of you can relate.

Lose Weight without Dieting Tip: Calcium Counts!

Studies have now proven that getting enough calcium helps us to process and eliminate fat from our bodies!

In fact, getting enough calcium can help you process up to 6-1/2 pounds MORE fat in a year than you would without it! 6-1/2 pounds!!! That's an easy way to lose weight without dieting!!!

To be effective, you need to get 1gm - 1200mg of calcium every day...that is WAY more than most of us get...or can get by eating foods today.

Rather than trying to force more spinach down...leafy greens are one of the best sources of calcium--you don't have to take in more dairy--most of us should take calcium supplements.

When choosing supplements you want to be sure that you combine calcium with magnesium...about 600-800 mg. Don't know what else magnesium does for you, but combining it with your calcium will help keep you, ahem, "regular"...as calcium can create kind of a roadblock...if you get my drift!

Check out your supplements carefully...supplements aren't regulated and so a lot of companies don't do much in the way of quality control.

I suggest you talk to my friend and health advisor, Dr. Linda...she can tell you more about supplements and things to look for...check out her blog and her website. Dr Linda has really helped me with a lot of my health questions and helped guide me during my 120 lb weight loss!

Weight Loss Without Dieting Tip: Don't Eat and Drive

Another tip for losing weight with out going on a diet is to avoid eating while you drive.

Because you are focusing on your driving...at least I hope you are...eating while you drive is at best a semi-conscious event.

Not only are you less aware of what you're eating--so you'll be inclined to eat more and enjoy it less--the options you typically have for car food are limited...and tend to be high fat and/or sugar.

Instead of eating behind the wheel, stop the car to eat. Be aware of every bite. Choose foods that you really want to nourish your body with--instead of selecting foods base on "can I eat it and not make a mess of my clothes?"

Give yourself those few extra minutes to be able to eat in a more relaxed and conscious way and you will naturally find yourself eating less, being less stressed and losing weight.

Another reason people tend to eat and drive is out of boredom! This is especially on long trips, whether it is a lengthy commute to work or a road trip.

Rather than eating to keep yourself preoccupied, use this time to expand your mind instead of your hips--listen to a book "on tape", practice your affirmations (but don't try to meditate while you drive!) or just sing and do things that bring joy to your body. Any of these activities will help your overall health and help you to lose weight--without being on a diet!

That's the road I'm choosing to motor down!