Saturday, June 13, 2009

Fear Makes You Fat

For some reason fear seems to be coming up for me a lot this own fears, other peoples' fears, how to deal with fears, irrational and rational fears...

Whenever I see a pattern like that I really try to take a step back and see if there is something that I am supposed to be learning...maybe something I haven't gotten or have forgotten.

I came up with a couple things as related to weight loss and body image that I want to share with you. Maybe some of this will "speak" to you too...maybe not...but I'd love to hear your comments.

I have been writing a book...or at least notes for a book...about my experiences regarding weight. It pisses me off when people are told that it is practically impossible to lose weight permanently...or that it is next to impossible for women of a *ahem* certain age to lose weight.

Why does that make me mad? Because I know it isn't true...I've done it...well, I guess since I'm still alive I can't really claim "permanent" weight loss!

So what does this have to do with fear? I'll tell you...

As excited as I am to help people and to share my story, as angry as I might get at the "nay sayers", I have some fears about writing my book. The voice in my head goes something like this, "What if the book stinks? Who do you really think you are to write a book--you're not an author? What if people don't read it? What if people read it and hate it? What if, what if, what if..."

My friend Erik Stafford wrote in his blog about his own fears this week. What caused the fear was completely different, but what was striking was the similarity in that we were experiencing fear about things over which we have NO CONTROL! That is what makes the fear irrational.

I can't control who does or doesn't read my book, or whether they like it or not. The only thing I can control is if I write the book or not! If I choose to let fear take control it won't get written and then no one will ever read it--whether it would be helpful to them or not!

OK, I think you get that point.

Don't let fear over what you can't control take control over your life. For me, I am taking the bull by the horns and I am setting aside time to focus on writing my book. I have enlisted help from friends and mentors. I am researching what I need to know so my lack of information about the process doesn't hold me back.

You don't have to want to write a book...your fears may be about something entirely different. What we all deserve to do is to live our lives the best we can and to move forward despite our fears. Sometimes BECAUSE of our fears! When we get too comfortable then maybe we aren't growing.

I believe that when we push down our dreams and goals out of fear we are closing off a huge portion of who we are at our very core. My experience shows me that when I do that I tend to overeat. In an attempt to feel better...I go for food as my drug of choice.

That doesn't serve me emotionally in the long-run and it sure doesn't help my health!

So I really want to thank everyone who mentioned fears this week for helping me to have an "Ah ha moment" and pay close attention to my own. And I want to thank a couple of great teachers who had specific lessons that showed up for me this week that centered around this issue (isn't life great how that works out!) Cheryl Richardson and Bob Jenkins--thanks for your wisdom and insight and showing me the tools I need to take this next step on my journey!

Check the next post for the other weight loss/body image related fear that came to mind this week...I bet a lot of you can relate.

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