Traveling, Tech Troubles and Feeling Fat, Triple Whammy of Weight Loss Challenges

I'm visiting my mom right now. Visiting is technically accurate, but really only partially true. She had surgery on Monday and I wanted to be here to help her through it. I am glad I came and really appreciate that I have the ability to!

Traveling in general can be rough on our health and fitness goals...for me, visiting family is a bigger challenge than a business trip or simply going on vacation. They all have their challenges but being in my mom's home sets off lots of triggers for me. I love my mom, but there are tons of memories that come up and the stresses of being under someone else's roof that just does a number on my head and emotions. Top that off with the fact that she is aging and I'm having to face her increasingly fleeting memory and her dwindling size...it is just a bit scary and I don't want to have to face it. Tempting to bury myself in a few gallons of ice cream. Doesn't really make it go away, but I can forget about it for a while...maybe...not really. It doesn't work any better now than it did when I was a kid...or any of the hundred + pounds in between!

Ironically, I have had major technology issues during this trip. Ironic because I am in San Jose, California...the Silicon Valley...home of so much of this fantastic technology. Fortunately my brother, much more of a tech-head than I, was able to get things sorted out...but I was left with little ability to be online for several days. That left me with fewer things to keep my hands busy...not a good thing to have when ice cream calls from the freezer!

To top all this off, I am feeling fat...it is an interesting concept, that of self-image. I look in the mirror and see this huge person, yet I put on my clothes and they only feel a little tighter than normal. Have I really put on weight in just a few days? Lord knows it is possible for me to do...but haven't I learned all about emotional eating and how to avoid it? I mean, after all, didn't I just write a book about it???

So, I decided to take a closer look and I noticed a couple things. First I noticed that my fingers are pudgier...hmmm...that does not happen from a few days of stress eating...then I noticed my legs...where my socks stop there is a marked indentation that normally isn't there. Ah ha, Dr. Watson, I have figured it out! I am bloated! OK, makes sense...flying...drinking less water than normal...stress...hurray! I'm not fat--it is just water!

What a great relief that was...I don't have to hide my head in shame...the weight loss without dieting expert has not somehow magically gained 100 pounds in a week...and fortunately I took the time to really look at my hands...they were for me the big give away.

The truth is, I have eaten more ice cream than normal this week. And I have also NOT eaten ice cream on numerous occasions when I felt like it...because I took a moment to interrupt the urge and recognize it was the siren call of emotional eating, not physical or even pleasurable eating...or even eating just because it was there.

I'm proud of myself for all the successes I've had this week...and I may (or may not) go home weighing a pound or two more than when I arrived...but I am reassured any weight gain I do experience will be minimal and temporary. I have reconnected with support folks who help me when I am stressed...I have my walking shoes ready to roll...all is good.

Why is all this important to you? Because if I can do it, then you can too! Learning to be gentle with ourselves and not always expect perfection is a very important factor for those of us who suffer from "good girl syndrome"....we must learn to allow ourselves to have flaws and weaknesses...ironically, by allowing for these weaknesses we actually suffer from them less!

If you are feeling fat, take a minute and check out your fingers, your legs...or whatever will help you to identify if this is real or just bloat...if you are having tech troubles, or some other challenge that is causing you some stress and making you want to eat, who can you call on to help you through it...and if you are traveling, then drink your water, walk, and cut yourself a little slack!

Puffiness, Bloat and Feeling Fat

Yesterday I mentioned that I noticed a few more fine lines on my face because I have less fat to fill out the skin...

I used to wonder when I would hear people say "I feel fat--I weighed 2 pounds more this morning and my clothes are tight"....I just couldn't fathom being able to actually feel 2 pounds!!!

But I am noticing that I am more sensitive to any puffiness or bloating that may occur. This could be from eating a bit more salt than normal, not getting enough sleep, or having an allergy to something in the environment. Because my body is less "swollen" in general (in other words, I'm not as fat as I was) the difference is more noticeable to me now.

I suppose this is really a mathematical thing (math? me? wow...I was an art major after all!)

But let's think about that for a sec...when I weighed roughly 300 pounds, if I swelled up an extra 3 pounds, that was only 1% of my total body weight. Now if I swell up that same 3 pounds it is more than 2% of my total body weight. So the affect is twice as much...no wonder I feel it more now.

This feeling/sensitivity is a good thing. It alerts me to when I have eaten something that my body doesn't particularly like, or that I'm not taking care of my body. It will also be a tool in my weight loss belt to keep me from getting out of control with food and gain weight back.

I love the idea that I will notice a 2 or 3 pound shift and it will make me uncomfortable enough that I will make an extra effort to pay attention and make the little changes that I might need to make in order to get back on track. How much better to have that alarm bell go off at 3 pounds than 30!