Most of the people I meet who are trying to lose weight do not have a very high opinion of themselves, and certainly not of their bodies. When asked what is wrong with them, the response is generally first a look that seems to scream, "Are you kidding??? Isn't it obvious?" and then they will recount the many faults they see as a result of not being the "proper" weight...their thighs, double chin, flabby arms, cellulite, muffin top and on and on.
I believe that we must first learn to embrace our beauty--as we are (fat faults and all)--in order to achieve a satisfying, successful and permanent weight loss.
Underneath our criticism of our bodies due to our weight is really a dissatisfaction with our bodies in general that no amount of weight loss will fix.
Somehow, most women have absorbed this idea that beauty looks a specific way. In other cultures, beauty may be marked by attributes that we find odd. As an aside, if you didn't see Jessica Simpson's series on beauty, it is worth watching as she explores this very concept.
As our world becomes more homogenized these concepts of beauty may begin to meld into one accepted definition of beauty, which I find rather sad. Truth is, "beauty" is merely a concept, an idea. Beauty is not a thing and it is not even a specific look...otherwise it would be identical everywhere.
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is an idea that has been expressed in writing since at least the 3rd century BC. It is true today, yet somehow we have chosen to allow someone else's vision of what is beautiful obscure our own.
This is the great disservice that beauty pageants do to our young women. We are taught from an early age that if we do not conform to a specific body type we are not beautiful. We are taught if we are too old, or too young, to be eligible for a pageant that we cannot possibly be beautiful. Thus girls and women of all ages and body types struggle to fit this single model.
I recognized at an early age there was no way I would be able to compete in a beauty pageant. My bones and musculature just didn't fit the mold. I was too short and too heavy to be beautiful. Even when I wasn't fat, I couldn't accept that I was not. After all, I weighed more and was shorter than the Miss America crowd, therefore I must be fat. In my young mind that was the only explanation!
Whether you are naturally pear shaped or have a build more suited to shot-putting than running track you do not fit this narrow mold of beauty.
Well, this mold deserves to be shattered, and shattering it is one of the best gifts you can give yourself! By breaking the mold, you free yourself to be the best person YOU can be, not limited by anyone else's preconceptions.
Accept that you are beautiful just as you are right now. Even if you are still overweight or out of shape. Even if you think your nose is too big or you don't like the shape of your butt. You do not have to love every single aspect of yourself...but you don't have to criticize them incessantly, either!
Beauty is the entire package, not just one part or even the sum of those parts. It certainly isn't a balance sheet where you list on one side all the best parts and on the other side all the weaknesses! Beauty starts with a belief in yourself, in your core being, which is much, much more than even our physical bodies--and waaaay more than what our physical body looks like!
Give yourself the gift of looking at yourself, including your body, in a new way. This may be the best holiday present you can possibly give yourself. If you've been well-practiced at judging your body against others then this won't be easy--it won't be a cheap gift...one that you ran to Walgreen's to buy. But then, the best gifts rarely are. It will be a gift that takes time, effort and consideration.
This is a gift that will keep giving to you for years to come. And ironically, as you learn to see the beauty in yourself as you are in this moment, you will find the path to a permanent weight loss--because you will have started the shift in your mindset regarding losing weight.
Happy Holidays!
Showing posts with label appearance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label appearance. Show all posts
Monday, December 13, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Anti-Aging and Weight Loss Success Secret Weapon
One of the biggest secrets to losing weight successfully and for looking younger is quite simple...protein.
We hear all the time that Americans eat too much protein. But that may not be really accurate.
While it is true we don't need a lot of protein at any one sitting, we DO need to eat protein regularly...several times every day. Research from the University of Texas backs this up and states that the most important factor for maintaining our lean body mass is eating protein regularly through out the day. You see, our bodies don't store protein...at least not as protein. If we eat too much protein it is converted and stored as--fat! That means saving it all up for dinner won't cut it in terms of looking youthful or being healthy.
The trick is, if we don't eat enough protein then our body will actually start to "eat" our own lean body mass...we will tear down our "less important" tissues in an effort to protect our most vital organs (like our heart.)
What exactly is lean body mass? It is most of the parts of our body that we love (read "not our fat")...including our bones, skin, muscles and parts of our essential organs. And once we get over the 40 year hump we start to lose that lean body mass. Figures indicate on average we lose 8 % every decade.
Less lean body mass could mean that our metabolism slows down (ever heard that it is harder to lose weight once you hit 40?) This is because muscles burn more calories than fat. So, that is enough all by itself to make me want to be sure I get enough protein in every day.
But that's not all...losing lean body mass affects our bones, making us more susceptible to breaks, our skin becomes more easily damaged and all of our organs are adversely affected. Think about it...pretty much all the signs of aging could be linked to loss of lean body mass!
So whether you are trying to drop excess fat or keep your body looking younger, one of the most important things you can do for yourself is to eat small servings of protein several times a day.
Don't think this means you have to be eating meat three times a day...mix it up with wild salmon (avoid "Atlantic" salmon as that means it is farm-raised and less healthy) or other fish, nuts and seeds, chicken and other poultry, dairy, eggs, and off course beans and legumes.
Add nuts and seeds to your morning yogurt or oatmeal, or a little Feta and Quinoa to a salad and you've got meals with protein that won't raise your cholesterol either!
We hear all the time that Americans eat too much protein. But that may not be really accurate.
While it is true we don't need a lot of protein at any one sitting, we DO need to eat protein regularly...several times every day. Research from the University of Texas backs this up and states that the most important factor for maintaining our lean body mass is eating protein regularly through out the day. You see, our bodies don't store protein...at least not as protein. If we eat too much protein it is converted and stored as--fat! That means saving it all up for dinner won't cut it in terms of looking youthful or being healthy.
The trick is, if we don't eat enough protein then our body will actually start to "eat" our own lean body mass...we will tear down our "less important" tissues in an effort to protect our most vital organs (like our heart.)
What exactly is lean body mass? It is most of the parts of our body that we love (read "not our fat")...including our bones, skin, muscles and parts of our essential organs. And once we get over the 40 year hump we start to lose that lean body mass. Figures indicate on average we lose 8 % every decade.
Less lean body mass could mean that our metabolism slows down (ever heard that it is harder to lose weight once you hit 40?) This is because muscles burn more calories than fat. So, that is enough all by itself to make me want to be sure I get enough protein in every day.
But that's not all...losing lean body mass affects our bones, making us more susceptible to breaks, our skin becomes more easily damaged and all of our organs are adversely affected. Think about it...pretty much all the signs of aging could be linked to loss of lean body mass!
So whether you are trying to drop excess fat or keep your body looking younger, one of the most important things you can do for yourself is to eat small servings of protein several times a day.
Don't think this means you have to be eating meat three times a day...mix it up with wild salmon (avoid "Atlantic" salmon as that means it is farm-raised and less healthy) or other fish, nuts and seeds, chicken and other poultry, dairy, eggs, and off course beans and legumes.
Add nuts and seeds to your morning yogurt or oatmeal, or a little Feta and Quinoa to a salad and you've got meals with protein that won't raise your cholesterol either!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Taylor Swift: "I Refuse To Diet"
Thank you Taylor Swift for being a great role model for so many people.
I know I'm not exactly your target audience, so I'm sure you will forgive me when I say that I first heard of you from the Oprah Show...I was very impressed with you during that show...how articulate you were, how you spoke to your young fans, how giving and caring you were...and your obvious talent!
Now I have read that you declared "I refuse to diet"...this is the mindset that I used to lose 125lbs. By allowing ourselves to eat our favorite foods, we can more fully enjoy our lives (after all, eating is a big part of life)...we don't feel deprived...we are looking at long-term health, not a short-term diet with it's short-term results.
By declaring that you are happy with how you look and that you are focusing on eating and exercising for your health, you are setting a great example for all of us...young and (*ahem*) not-so-young! I find it especially refreshing since we tend to think of people in the entertainment industry as really being concerned with their appearance.
Rather than looking at exercise as drugery, a dreaded task that we have to do in order to achieve a certain weight or size, let's change our mindset, as Taylor has done. Choose to look at exercise as a way to help us be the best we can be so we can do what we want to do more easily. It doesn't take hours and hours of exercise to achieve this. I do a 15 minute routine every day. That gives me the basics...it helps me muscles, my breathing and my flexibility.
I know I'm not exactly your target audience, so I'm sure you will forgive me when I say that I first heard of you from the Oprah Show...I was very impressed with you during that show...how articulate you were, how you spoke to your young fans, how giving and caring you were...and your obvious talent!
Now I have read that you declared "I refuse to diet"...this is the mindset that I used to lose 125lbs. By allowing ourselves to eat our favorite foods, we can more fully enjoy our lives (after all, eating is a big part of life)...we don't feel deprived...we are looking at long-term health, not a short-term diet with it's short-term results.
"I eat healthily, but I refuse to use the term 'diet'...if I want a cheeseburger, it's going to happen."~Taylor Swift
By declaring that you are happy with how you look and that you are focusing on eating and exercising for your health, you are setting a great example for all of us...young and (*ahem*) not-so-young! I find it especially refreshing since we tend to think of people in the entertainment industry as really being concerned with their appearance.
"For me, working out is not so I can get skinny. It's so that I can keep up my endurance so I'm not panting on stage. Heavy breathing is the worst when you're in concert." ~Taylor SwiftThis is such an important point that so many of us overlook. Okay, for most of us it isn't about our endurance on stage...but it is about our endurance in whatever we do...may be it is keeping up with our active children (or someone else's), getting from our office to another part of the company for meetings, carrying groceries, working in the garden, taking a walk in a park, playing frisbee with our dog... . We want to be sure we can do what we want to do in order to be the people we want to be. And to be able to do those things without 'panting'...
Rather than looking at exercise as drugery, a dreaded task that we have to do in order to achieve a certain weight or size, let's change our mindset, as Taylor has done. Choose to look at exercise as a way to help us be the best we can be so we can do what we want to do more easily. It doesn't take hours and hours of exercise to achieve this. I do a 15 minute routine every day. That gives me the basics...it helps me muscles, my breathing and my flexibility.
- Eat in a healthy way.
- Allow yourself your favorite foods.
- Exercise so you can do what you want to do.
- Focus on your health, not your size.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
You Used To Be Fat?
I'm visiting my mom right now and one of things we do together is go to the pool in her community. There is a small group of women who informally gather and do some water exercises together. It is a really nice group, beautiful location...a lot of fun.
When I was visiting last year Mom mentioned that I used to teach water aerobics, so they asked me if I would teach them a few "new tricks"...so I did.
This visit, for some reason my mom said "You haven't commented on how much weight Laurie has lost"...and I reminded her that it really hasn't been that much since my last visit (the majority of my weight loss was prior to that visit.)
So one of the ladies asked how much weight I've lost. When I replied 125 pounds they were blown away. "I never would have guessed you were fat before," "Your mother is so slender," "You used to be fat?" were the sorts of comments that arose.
I know that some of the reaction was compounded because they knew I used to be a competitive swimmer and coach. It isn't expected that athletes are fat...we see the pictures of Olympic swimmers and they are all so trim. Well, of course I wasn't of that caliber...and I stopped swimming competitively at 18, so there was a lot of years between then and now to gain even more weight. And truth is, you don't have to be slim to teach swimming--or even water aerobics!
Still, the reaction surprised me at first. Then I remembered having that reaction when I met other people who had lost significant amounts of weight. It is as if we expect to see some telltale sign on their forehead "I USED TO BE FAT." I wonder where we get that notion.
Maybe it is because we think of fat as being part of the person...kind of like eye color! When a person loses a lot of weight they look like a different person--but they don't look like a formerly fat person!
When you lose weight gradually then your mind and body are able to keep in sync...so your skin tightens up, your walk adjusts, you become this new person. For most of us there is no physical evidence of our fat past. I actually find it hard to believe that I was that fat person too. It is like another lifetime ago.
I never had that mental experience when I was dieting. Then I would yo-yo 20+ pounds (then 50!) and so I never felt like a healthy person. I always identified as someone who struggled with weight and dieting. I always felt fat...even when I was on the bottom part of the yo-yo.
I believe that is the main reason I was still fat. I never believed I could be otherwise. The key to losing weight and keeping it off is changing your mindset. You have to believe you can do it--that you deserve health. Once you believe those two things then you truly can lose weight and not have to worry about counting calories!
When I was visiting last year Mom mentioned that I used to teach water aerobics, so they asked me if I would teach them a few "new tricks"...so I did.
This visit, for some reason my mom said "You haven't commented on how much weight Laurie has lost"...and I reminded her that it really hasn't been that much since my last visit (the majority of my weight loss was prior to that visit.)
So one of the ladies asked how much weight I've lost. When I replied 125 pounds they were blown away. "I never would have guessed you were fat before," "Your mother is so slender," "You used to be fat?" were the sorts of comments that arose.
I know that some of the reaction was compounded because they knew I used to be a competitive swimmer and coach. It isn't expected that athletes are fat...we see the pictures of Olympic swimmers and they are all so trim. Well, of course I wasn't of that caliber...and I stopped swimming competitively at 18, so there was a lot of years between then and now to gain even more weight. And truth is, you don't have to be slim to teach swimming--or even water aerobics!
Still, the reaction surprised me at first. Then I remembered having that reaction when I met other people who had lost significant amounts of weight. It is as if we expect to see some telltale sign on their forehead "I USED TO BE FAT." I wonder where we get that notion.
Maybe it is because we think of fat as being part of the person...kind of like eye color! When a person loses a lot of weight they look like a different person--but they don't look like a formerly fat person!
When you lose weight gradually then your mind and body are able to keep in sync...so your skin tightens up, your walk adjusts, you become this new person. For most of us there is no physical evidence of our fat past. I actually find it hard to believe that I was that fat person too. It is like another lifetime ago.
I never had that mental experience when I was dieting. Then I would yo-yo 20+ pounds (then 50!) and so I never felt like a healthy person. I always identified as someone who struggled with weight and dieting. I always felt fat...even when I was on the bottom part of the yo-yo.
I believe that is the main reason I was still fat. I never believed I could be otherwise. The key to losing weight and keeping it off is changing your mindset. You have to believe you can do it--that you deserve health. Once you believe those two things then you truly can lose weight and not have to worry about counting calories!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Don't Let Your Size Stop You From Living Your Life
We all have dreams and aspirations. Some are huge--for our lifetimes. Others are quite small.
Sadly, too often we shelve our dreams because of our size.
Don't let your size stop you from doing what you want to do, from being the person you want to be.
Be the person who listens to her spirit.
Be the person who hears the call and responds.
If you want to play with your kids at the beach then do it! Do it with your heart and to teh best of your physical abilities. Don't allow fear of what other's MIGHT think stop you. Don't let your EGO keep you from living your life.
I've met so many people--women mostly--who won't take their kids to the pool, the beach, or the water park because they are embarrassed to be seen in their bathing suits. They are ashamed of their bodies and don't want to be seen in all their glory.
Please, do not put your life on hold until you lose weight. Be the person that you feel inside and live that life and then you will lose the weight.
Don't wait to Have first thinking then you can Do and Be.
It starts with BE-ing. Be, Do then Have the results!
Sadly, too often we shelve our dreams because of our size.
Don't let your size stop you from doing what you want to do, from being the person you want to be.
Be the person who listens to her spirit.
Be the person who hears the call and responds.
If you want to play with your kids at the beach then do it! Do it with your heart and to teh best of your physical abilities. Don't allow fear of what other's MIGHT think stop you. Don't let your EGO keep you from living your life.
I've met so many people--women mostly--who won't take their kids to the pool, the beach, or the water park because they are embarrassed to be seen in their bathing suits. They are ashamed of their bodies and don't want to be seen in all their glory.
Please, do not put your life on hold until you lose weight. Be the person that you feel inside and live that life and then you will lose the weight.
Don't wait to Have first thinking then you can Do and Be.
It starts with BE-ing. Be, Do then Have the results!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Focus on the Positive Changes Not What is Left to Be Done
I am feeling positively wonderful...
Interesting thing how ones outlook or attitude can affect your entire day...and choosing different ways of looking at something can make all the difference.
For example, you know that I've lost over 100 pounds (over 120 now)--what you may not know is that I still would like to drop a few more.
In the past, I would have allowed the "fact" that I have not accomplished my goal to diminish my ability to celebrate and embrace the success to date. Maybe I haven't lost 100 pounds before, but I have lost 50 pounds before--and not respected that achievement or myself enough and instead of maintaining that loss I actually put it all back on AND MORE!
So as I look in the mirrow while exercising I notice and love my body--even with some extra fat jiggling around. I am not perfect. May never have the perfect body--however, I am PROUD of what I have done. I am enjoying seeing the changes in my body.
Instead of focusing on the remaining fat, I am choosing to focus on my emerging muscles that I can see and feel . I am focusing on their growing strength and that they are coming out of hiding from beneath layers of fat.
I am choosing to focus on noticing my bones--seeing my skeletal structure. How strong my bones are! How loyal have they been as they carried my body around.
I am choosing to notice how my arms and legs, and even my fingers and toes, are appearing to grow longer. The truth is they are less round than they were before--the shortness was an illusion that I am shattering.
What an exciting discovery this "new" body is!
Interesting thing how ones outlook or attitude can affect your entire day...and choosing different ways of looking at something can make all the difference.
For example, you know that I've lost over 100 pounds (over 120 now)--what you may not know is that I still would like to drop a few more.
In the past, I would have allowed the "fact" that I have not accomplished my goal to diminish my ability to celebrate and embrace the success to date. Maybe I haven't lost 100 pounds before, but I have lost 50 pounds before--and not respected that achievement or myself enough and instead of maintaining that loss I actually put it all back on AND MORE!
So as I look in the mirrow while exercising I notice and love my body--even with some extra fat jiggling around. I am not perfect. May never have the perfect body--however, I am PROUD of what I have done. I am enjoying seeing the changes in my body.
Instead of focusing on the remaining fat, I am choosing to focus on my emerging muscles that I can see and feel . I am focusing on their growing strength and that they are coming out of hiding from beneath layers of fat.
I am choosing to focus on noticing my bones--seeing my skeletal structure. How strong my bones are! How loyal have they been as they carried my body around.
I am choosing to notice how my arms and legs, and even my fingers and toes, are appearing to grow longer. The truth is they are less round than they were before--the shortness was an illusion that I am shattering.
What an exciting discovery this "new" body is!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Puffiness, Bloat and Feeling Fat
Yesterday I mentioned that I noticed a few more fine lines on my face because I have less fat to fill out the skin...
I used to wonder when I would hear people say "I feel fat--I weighed 2 pounds more this morning and my clothes are tight"....I just couldn't fathom being able to actually feel 2 pounds!!!
But I am noticing that I am more sensitive to any puffiness or bloating that may occur. This could be from eating a bit more salt than normal, not getting enough sleep, or having an allergy to something in the environment. Because my body is less "swollen" in general (in other words, I'm not as fat as I was) the difference is more noticeable to me now.
I suppose this is really a mathematical thing (math? me? wow...I was an art major after all!)
But let's think about that for a sec...when I weighed roughly 300 pounds, if I swelled up an extra 3 pounds, that was only 1% of my total body weight. Now if I swell up that same 3 pounds it is more than 2% of my total body weight. So the affect is twice as much...no wonder I feel it more now.
This feeling/sensitivity is a good thing. It alerts me to when I have eaten something that my body doesn't particularly like, or that I'm not taking care of my body. It will also be a tool in my weight loss belt to keep me from getting out of control with food and gain weight back.
I love the idea that I will notice a 2 or 3 pound shift and it will make me uncomfortable enough that I will make an extra effort to pay attention and make the little changes that I might need to make in order to get back on track. How much better to have that alarm bell go off at 3 pounds than 30!
I used to wonder when I would hear people say "I feel fat--I weighed 2 pounds more this morning and my clothes are tight"....I just couldn't fathom being able to actually feel 2 pounds!!!
But I am noticing that I am more sensitive to any puffiness or bloating that may occur. This could be from eating a bit more salt than normal, not getting enough sleep, or having an allergy to something in the environment. Because my body is less "swollen" in general (in other words, I'm not as fat as I was) the difference is more noticeable to me now.
I suppose this is really a mathematical thing (math? me? wow...I was an art major after all!)
But let's think about that for a sec...when I weighed roughly 300 pounds, if I swelled up an extra 3 pounds, that was only 1% of my total body weight. Now if I swell up that same 3 pounds it is more than 2% of my total body weight. So the affect is twice as much...no wonder I feel it more now.
This feeling/sensitivity is a good thing. It alerts me to when I have eaten something that my body doesn't particularly like, or that I'm not taking care of my body. It will also be a tool in my weight loss belt to keep me from getting out of control with food and gain weight back.
I love the idea that I will notice a 2 or 3 pound shift and it will make me uncomfortable enough that I will make an extra effort to pay attention and make the little changes that I might need to make in order to get back on track. How much better to have that alarm bell go off at 3 pounds than 30!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
The Changing Face of Laurie
One of the things that I've noticed is how much my face is changing as I am on this weight loss journey...I guess 100+ pounds does make a difference.
I knew that my face would be thinner of course. What I wasn't expecting was that I would notice more wrinkles. Hey they are really fine lines and they aren't serious, but it is something that happens. As there is less fat in the face to "puff out" the skin, some of those lines are more visible.
It is a small price to pay!
I knew that my face would be thinner of course. What I wasn't expecting was that I would notice more wrinkles. Hey they are really fine lines and they aren't serious, but it is something that happens. As there is less fat in the face to "puff out" the skin, some of those lines are more visible.
It is a small price to pay!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Buying Bras
OK, this is for the women out there--I am not a clothes shopper. I don't particularly enjoy the experience. Maybe that is because I have been fat most of my life and so it isn't really a fun experience to sweat and try on clothes that always seem to be too tight.
Well, I had to buy clothes recently as I was going to a conference. While I was in the store they made an announcement that they were having fittings for bras. Well, I was wearing the same bra that I had been wearing 100 pounds ago. Thinking just maybe it was time for me to have a new bra I headed over.
I intellectually knew that having new "foundation garments" would make a big difference, but I really wasn't prepared for the visual change. Heck I wasn't sagging any more! In fact "the girls" were upright and "perky" as I've heard Oprah say!
So do yourself a favor and buy a couple new bras--whether you have lost a lot of weight or just haven't bought a new bra in a while, get a bra that fits and it will uplift your spirits, as well as "the girls"!
Not sure how to pick one out--hate to go to the stores. Check out this link and get the right bra for you, shipped right to your door! Find your perfect bra with JustMySize.com's BraFinder!
Well, I had to buy clothes recently as I was going to a conference. While I was in the store they made an announcement that they were having fittings for bras. Well, I was wearing the same bra that I had been wearing 100 pounds ago. Thinking just maybe it was time for me to have a new bra I headed over.
I intellectually knew that having new "foundation garments" would make a big difference, but I really wasn't prepared for the visual change. Heck I wasn't sagging any more! In fact "the girls" were upright and "perky" as I've heard Oprah say!
So do yourself a favor and buy a couple new bras--whether you have lost a lot of weight or just haven't bought a new bra in a while, get a bra that fits and it will uplift your spirits, as well as "the girls"!
Not sure how to pick one out--hate to go to the stores. Check out this link and get the right bra for you, shipped right to your door! Find your perfect bra with JustMySize.com's BraFinder!
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