Crash! Hit By A Truck

The clock reads 5:15pm. It feels like midnight. I feel completely drained, like I've been hit by a truck. My brain is foggy--can't...make...simple...decisions. Suddenly, all I wanted was to eat and sleep.

That's what I wrote the Sunday evening. What hit me wasn't a truck (thank goodness) but I had a crash of another sort. I hadn't really eaten since 8am...not true, I had a Sunday treat at noon...a cup of coffee and a slice of nut and fruit bread. Very little food, and even less protein all day.

Scientifically, my blood sugar tanked...(don't you love it when I use technical jargon?)

Personally, I felt like crap.

This put me into a danger zone--I was fully capable of eating the entire house...not just the contents of the cupboard.

I know better, and it would have been easy to beat myself up for getting myself into that situation...fortunately I chose not to go that route...but I'm telling you, it is a lot easier to make healthy food choices BEFORE the crash. After a crash, you body is screaming for sugar...simple, refined sugars that get you pumping quickly. Trouble is, it sets you up for another crash if you don't combine those carbs with protein.

I used to have these crashes pretty frequently. I was good at pushing through and ignoring my body's signals...hunger, pain, fatigue. And I was also good at pushing through the "full" signals too. Ignoring all those signals is how I got to be 300 pounds.

I'm typically much more conscious about eating on a regular basis. That is one of the tools I've used to drop 125 pounds. Small, frequent meals or snacks keep my blood sugar up and my body operating efficiently. With my blood sugar up level I don't have to use "willpower" to eat right. Top that off, I have better energy--and I'm more pleasant to be around, too.

Moral of the story: if weight loss success is your idea of a happy ending--don't forget to eat!

Weight Loss Success While Visiting Family

My mother's 80th birthday is coming up, so I'll be heading to California for a visit.

My brother and I discussed having a party for her, but decided she would not really like that. She would rather the family visit. So we'll be there and enjoy a nice dinner out. Maybe I'll invite a few people over for cake and ice cream (my mom loves ice cream almost as much as I do...and she is a stick!)

I won't be there for long--just a couple of days, but in the "old days" even a short visit was enough to trigger stress and stress-eating. What is different now? How will I handle it so I don't go off the deep end and overeat?

The biggest difference of course is my mindset. One of the things that I do on a regular basis is affirmations. I affirm that I have a healthy body. I also affirm that I am a success. Pretty general, I know...but this really applies so well to weight loss. How?

How many times in the past have you beat yourself up for not sticking to a diet, or for overeating, or for not exercising? I lost count decades ago! By affirming that I am a success I install into my subconscious positive thoughts about my abilities--including my ability to stick with my health goals. This really helps stop the part of me that used to beat myself up. 1--it helps me remember the things I have done well, and reassures my mind that I can handle whatever comes my way.

The other mindset piece is that I let go of the restrictions of dieting. So I don't have to worry about whether or not I will be able to "resist" having a piece of cake or some ice cream. Heck I KNOW I will...so I am just going to enjoy it!

In the past, having a piece of cake would set me off on a binge and a cycle or regret and negativity. I would berate myself for being "weak" or not having "willpower." Well, it isn't about being weak or strong...it isn't about having willpower...it is about NOT dieting...it is about enjoying life and celebrating special occasions...and food is a part of celebrations.

I have found by giving myself permission to partake in the food aspect of celebrations the food no longer has the power over me. I have freed myself from the food demons by facing them and letting them free.

It is really ironic because I used to believe that if I didn't hold tight rein on them, I would blow up. Well, I tried to keep them clamped down, tightly squished into their little box...and I did "blow up" to 300 lbs. Now that I have given them a pardon, as it were, I have been able to drop 125lbs!

So my plan for the visit--enjoy my mom, enjoy the meals out, enjoy the cake and ice cream. Also, enjoy the fresh air, enjoy being with family, enjoy the different environment. And if I get stressed, I have a "tool kit" that will help me get through...that doesn't involve stuffing down the emotions!

With this plan and tool kit in place, I know I will have a fantastic visit. Will I gain a pound or two while I'm there? Maybe, maybe not. But if I do, I know it drop back off without my needed to starve myself to compensate.

You know what is really cool about this change in mindset? Not only do I achieve my weight loss goals, I am SO looking forward to the visit. I get to focus on what it means for her and that is really the best gift I can give her...and myself. So, happy birthday Mom!

Ego Keeps Itself Safe and You Fat

Eckhart Tolle teaches us that our ego's job is to survive and therefore it will do just about anything to do that...including having us play "roles" that may not serve us in the long-run. Playing these roles can lead to overeating...continued from yesterday's post...Fattening Roles to Drop

When I would overeat (aka binge) I would then tell myself I was stupid or I had no willpower or that I was a fat slob. Those were all judgments, not facts.

Now if I feel the urge to stuff my face, I can look behind that feeling and (sometimes) figure out WHY. Turns out it isn’t because of some giant personal flaw! Typically I find that when I have this temptation it is because I am doing something that doesn’t feel good or authentically me...or I am not taking care of myself and am over fatigued.

At that point, the point I realize this, I have the opportunity to choose. I can choose to be more authentically me in the best way I can, given the situation. I can choose to separate the situation from myself by recognizing that it just IS...and that my thoughts and emotions are independent of it, and then I can work to change how I’m feeling...as Abraham teaches to “reach for a better feeling thought.” Or I can choose to suppress my feelings by drugging myself, whether that is with food, alcohol, drugs or even over exercising!

What helped me when I did choose to overeat in order to hide from my feelings was to consciously acknowledge that was what I was doing. I would literally say out loud “I know that I am eating to push down my feelings of fear (or discomfort or pain or anger) and I give myself permission to do this...this is a way I have developed to protect myself and right now, at this moment, it does serve me”

By giving myself permission to overeat I accomplished 2 things. 1) I tended to actually eat less and 2) I stopped beating myself up for doing it!

This is a wonderful place to start. From here it is possible to build up other coping skills.

This may sound strange, but I am actually grateful for my past overeating and the fat that resulted from it. Why? Because I know this was a tool that I used, one that my ego developed, to protect itself. It kept me alive at times. It also was, admittedly, a way for me to get some attention that my ego obviously wanted.

I no longer want that attention and I no longer need fat to protect me. But when I didn’t know anything else, my fat shielded me and helped keep me safe. How can I possibly be angry about that? I was doing the absolute best I could at the time.

Our minds and bodies are incredibly amazing things. They will work extremely diligently to keep us alive...they will creatively find ways to get this done...that is their number one priority.

It is OUR job to be as conscious as possible so we are in control of how we are living. When we actively choose our actions, our thoughts and thereby our emotions, then we can truly have the healthy, slender body that we are designed to have...and that we all deserve.

Fattening Roles (Not Rolls) to Drop

What roles are you playing and how does that affect your weight?

“In many cases, happiness is a role people play, and behind the smiling façade, there is a great deal of pain”

Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

This is a common role in the US where sadness and anger are not acceptable. We ask “how are you?” or “How’s it going?” but we don’t really want an honest answer...it is really a long way of saying “hi.”

We can become so immersed in this role that we aren’t even aware of our own unhappiness. Sometimes this role is magnified by other roles we take on like, “The good girl” or the “perfect wife and mother”. These are common roles for women who struggle with their weight.

We want to be liked and approved of...Tolle teaches that this is the ego—a very natural response. The trouble with this desire is that we often allow it to overshadow our true selves. When our efforts to please others, or to be perfect, or to be liked, cut us off from our true inner nature we will at some point rebel...and either punish or comfort ourselves someway...or both.

For me, this was accomplished by overeating and drinking. I was not being authentic, so my falseness and my dishonesty was quite stressful... I use food to calm myself and I got fat too, as a way of proving to myself and the world that I wasn’t perfect.

Tolle tells us to acknowledge our feelings, even the ‘negative’ ones. In the teachings of Abraham we are also taught his. Don’t pretend to be happy if you are not.

Figure out why you are having these feelings. Is there a situation that is influencing the emotion? Can you do anything about it? Can you remove yourself form the circumstance? If you cannot literally remove yourself then perhaps you can do it mentally.

The events around us do not CAUSE our emotions. We are 100% responsible for them. If we choose to keep thinking negative thoughts about an event and therefore feel bad about it...well, that’s up to us.

Our challenge is to keep the situation—the actual facts—distinct from our thoughts about it. Our thoughts lead to our feelings, you see?

Stuffing ourselves with food in order to suppress our emotions does not allow us to separate from them. In fact we will, consciously or not, create more negative feelings as a result. This is the key reason emotional eating leads to obesity.

By breaking that pattern and observing our emotions and the triggers of them we can free ourselves from the unhappiness that pushes us to overeat.

continued tomorrow

Weight Loss without Dieting Tip: Say Goodnight Gracie

You may not be old enough to recognize my homage to Grace Allen...but maybe you've been up late working or watching Leno or Carson...well here's a simple tip for losing weight without dieting--GO TO BED!

I don't mean sleep all day...I mean get a good night's sleep on a regular basis.

Studies show if you short yourself on sleep you are apt to pack on the pounds.

Is it the lack of sleep that causes the extra paunch? Or is it something else?

I'm no scientist, but my theory is that we tend to eat and drink more when we stay up late. Whether we are socializing, working late or just watching old George Burns reruns on television, consuming calories can help us stay awake longer--to the detriment of our waistline.

So, get some sleep instead of snacking and you'll be effortlessly be dropping calories and losing unwanted fat.

Now there's something to have sweet dreams about!

Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think

Author Brian Wansink is a Stanford Ph.D. food psychologist and the director of the Cornell University Food and Brand Lab. He has been seen on Oprah and numerous other shows discussing the ways companies and our families influence our eating patterns.

Dr. Wansink has spent a lifetime studying what we don’t notice: the hidden cues that determine how much and why people eat. Being aware of how much we really are consuming is a key facet to successfully losing weight--and keeping it off!



This book, published in 2007, helps us become aware of outside influences that sabotage our efforts and why willpower is not enough.

Some of the questions the book asks include:

• How does packaging influence how much we eat?
• Which movies make us eat faster?
• How does music or the color of the room influence how much we eat?
• How can we recognize the “hidden persuaders” used by restaurants and supermarkets to get us to mindlessly eat?
• What are the real reasons most diets are doomed to fail?
• How can we use the “mindless margin” to lose–instead of gain–ten to twenty pounds in the coming year?
• Does food with a brand name really taste better?
• Do you hate brussels sprouts because your mother did?
• Does the size of your plate determine how hungry you feel?
• How much would you eat if your soup bowl secretly refilled itself?
• What does your favorite comfort food really say about you?
• Why do you overeat so much at healthy restaurants?

Reviews
“[Mindless Eating] does more than just chastise those of us guilty of stuffing our faces. It also examines the effectiveness of such popular diets as South Beach or Atkins, and offers useful tips to consciously eat nutritiously.”—Boston Herald

"Entertaining... Isn't so much a diet book as a how-to on better facilitating the interaction between the feed-me messages of our stomachs and the controls in our heads."—Publishers Weekly

Mindless Eating will change the way you look at food, and it will give you the facts you need to easily make smarter, healthier, more mindful and enjoyable choices wherever you decide to eat--at home, school, work, a restaurant or even a vending machine!

If you want to read Dr. Wansink's blog, click here!

Weight Loss Challenges: Visiting Family

Your family, the in-laws, or friends who you consider family can be trips that are both the easiest to stick to health goals and the most difficult. Sometimes at the same time.

With anyone that close, there are triggers that are going to come up. It could be favorite foods that aren't so healthy for you or behaviors that hit you emotionally that you want to hide from (or "stuff" down with food!)

This is a great opportunity for you to practice listening to your body. If you have always been a big eater in your family, it may be hard for them to accept that you really don't want seconds, or that favorite treat that Mom made special just for your visit.

With some families you may be able to elicit support from one family member or another. In other families asking for help may bring out some apparent sabotage. You will probably have a good idea which category your family will fall into, but sometimes our efforts will bring out the best in other people, so don't be afraid to ask for what you need--if nothing else it is good practice!

When planning your visit to your family, let them know of your dietary changes--especially if someone is going to be doing a lot of cooking for your visit. Rather than wait for your arrival and then telling your Italian Mom you can't eat the lasgna and tiramisu, tell her ahead that you are eating lots of vegetables and could she stock up on salad stuff...or if you can, plan on stopping at the store shortly after arrival.

Here's my plan (which I announce several days ahead)--arrive at the house, check out the refrigerator and make a shopping list, head to the grocery store within a couple hours of arrival.

At the store I buy lots of fruits & vegetables that are easy to eat for snacks that I really like--grape tomatoes, blueberries, apples--lettuce and salad fixings, yogurt for breakfast and some string cheese for snacks. If I'm here for a long visit, I'll buy nuts...for short visits I'll have brought it along from home. And I buy lots of water! Lots and lots of water!