My mother's 80th birthday is coming up, so I'll be heading to California for a visit.
My brother and I discussed having a party for her, but decided she would not really like that. She would rather the family visit. So we'll be there and enjoy a nice dinner out. Maybe I'll invite a few people over for cake and ice cream (my mom loves ice cream almost as much as I do...and she is a stick!)
I won't be there for long--just a couple of days, but in the "old days" even a short visit was enough to trigger stress and stress-eating. What is different now? How will I handle it so I don't go off the deep end and overeat?
The biggest difference of course is my mindset. One of the things that I do on a regular basis is affirmations. I affirm that I have a healthy body. I also affirm that I am a success. Pretty general, I know...but this really applies so well to weight loss. How?
How many times in the past have you beat yourself up for not sticking to a diet, or for overeating, or for not exercising? I lost count decades ago! By affirming that I am a success I install into my subconscious positive thoughts about my abilities--including my ability to stick with my health goals. This really helps stop the part of me that used to beat myself up. 1--it helps me remember the things I have done well, and reassures my mind that I can handle whatever comes my way.
The other mindset piece is that I let go of the restrictions of dieting. So I don't have to worry about whether or not I will be able to "resist" having a piece of cake or some ice cream. Heck I KNOW I will...so I am just going to enjoy it!
In the past, having a piece of cake would set me off on a binge and a cycle or regret and negativity. I would berate myself for being "weak" or not having "willpower." Well, it isn't about being weak or strong...it isn't about having willpower...it is about NOT dieting...it is about enjoying life and celebrating special occasions...and food is a part of celebrations.
I have found by giving myself permission to partake in the food aspect of celebrations the food no longer has the power over me. I have freed myself from the food demons by facing them and letting them free.
It is really ironic because I used to believe that if I didn't hold tight rein on them, I would blow up. Well, I tried to keep them clamped down, tightly squished into their little box...and I did "blow up" to 300 lbs. Now that I have given them a pardon, as it were, I have been able to drop 125lbs!
So my plan for the visit--enjoy my mom, enjoy the meals out, enjoy the cake and ice cream. Also, enjoy the fresh air, enjoy being with family, enjoy the different environment. And if I get stressed, I have a "tool kit" that will help me get through...that doesn't involve stuffing down the emotions!
With this plan and tool kit in place, I know I will have a fantastic visit. Will I gain a pound or two while I'm there? Maybe, maybe not. But if I do, I know it drop back off without my needed to starve myself to compensate.
You know what is really cool about this change in mindset? Not only do I achieve my weight loss goals, I am SO looking forward to the visit. I get to focus on what it means for her and that is really the best gift I can give her...and myself. So, happy birthday Mom!
Monday, October 19, 2009
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