When we want to drop pounds we often think we have to make massive changes in our lives.
That thought alone is often enough to keep us stuck. We don't want to have to make these big, radical adjustments. Change can be scary and truth be told...it is hard to do.
It isn't will power, either. We are genetically programmed to follow routine. Oh there are some people who roll with change better than others. And there are areas that we may be okay with change and upheaval and other areas where the thought of change induces stress. And for most of us with weight loss challenges, changing our food and exercise routines seems like it is changing our entire lives. After all the time, energy and focus of our lives often revolves around food--the choosing, buying, preparing, cleaning up after on top of the eating of it.
To have weight loss success we do not have to make huge adjustments. In fact success is guaranteed if you focus on making small, small, small (did I say small?) changes that you can absolutely stick to.
How many times have you promised to "be good" and stick to this or that diet? And how many times did it work for a while, maybe a day or couple of days or even weeks...only to come crashing down on you because you just couldn't keep it up? That's what I thought.
That's because you tried to make too big a change. I know. I've done it too. Often.
That's why I finally declared I Refuse To Diet!!! And that made the difference.
Sure I've made changes in my eating, I make healthier choices more consistently. But I'm not perfect--and I don't have to be! And I didn't start off with radical shifts. I started off with a very small, laughably small change that I new would be simple to keep. In fact, it was so easy that part of me thought it wasn't worthy and it would take forever to lose the excess pounds! But I knew I had tried the other methods in the past and while I might have had short-term success it all came rebounding back like I had a homing beacon glued to my thighs.
So I started small. And it worked! So I added another small change. And so, and so on. In the process I have rebuilt my health; I lost almost 100 pounds in a single year; I can do more and more every day.
The irony was that when I thought 1-2 pounds a week was too slow and I had to find a faster way to lose weight, I stayed stuck as a morbidly obese person. Once I took the focus off the weight loss and instead focused on healthy choices (and deciding that I deserved a healthy body) the weight started to drop off.
Now when I hit a point where I am struggling, I go back to the basics. Where is my attitude and what small change can I make that I can stick to?
Showing posts with label mindset. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mindset. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Weight Loss Tip for Emotional Eaters
One of the biggest challenges we face as emotional eaters is developing new skills, tactics and strategies to handle our emotions rather than eating.
Stuffing our feelings down with a side of our favorite food is a habit that we have to break in order to have permanent weight loss success. Not an easy thing to do.
We may backslide from time to time...even after a long period of success. This does not mean that we as human beings are failures, just that we are human!
Weight Loss Tip: write down several options that you have for dealing with emotions and keep that list handy--we must learn to express our emotions, to get them out...and to learn that it is safe to do so!
What should be on the list?
The specifics of your list must be up to you. No one else can tell you what to write on your list, because no one else knows how you feel and what will help you. There are no "shoulds," as in specific things that belong on the list or do not belong on the list.
That being said I have a couple general rules or guidelines that I suggest you follow for the permanent mindset shift that you need for weight loss:
10 second solutions: count to 10; primal scream (either silent or vocalized); squeeze a stress ball; scrunch up your face & stick out your tongue
One minute wonders: close your eyes & take 5 or 6 deep belly breaths; shadow boxing; dance; get up & slam a door or throw a pillow; laugh; pet the dog/cat; think about someone you love; visualize the person who is stressing you as a little child; throw a tantrum (not a real one--but get your body involved in expressing your anger/fear/hurt)
Longer remedies: go outdoors & throw rocks as hard/far as you can; go for a walk around the block/building; meditate (5 min/15 min or longer); listen to your favorite album; engage in a hobby; work on a puzzle; lift weights; dance; laugh; sing; get out in nature; play with your kids/pet
Keep it Handy
Now that you have your list of things you can do instead of eating when your emotions are hitting hard post it on your refrigerator and/or pantry...wherever your comfort food resides.
Keep a copy in your wallet or purse.
Have a copy at your desk at work so if you are tempted to hit the snack machine you see it first.
Make a copy for your car so you see it whenever you are tempted by the drive through or you are going grocery shopping.
Sometimes you don't even need to review the list--especially after you have been at this for a while--just seeing the piece of paper and knowing what is on it may be enough to help you make the shift you need to avoid emotional eating.
Last, but not Least: REFER TO THE LIST
Just writing it down may feel good at the time, but it won't have a lasting effect. To have permanent weight loss success we have to make changes in our behavior...and this is a way to make some small yet very powerful changes that WILL result in a healthier you--if you use it.
This is just a tool...and tools don't do the job by themselves, they rely on the user to pick them up and put them to work!
Stuffing our feelings down with a side of our favorite food is a habit that we have to break in order to have permanent weight loss success. Not an easy thing to do.
We may backslide from time to time...even after a long period of success. This does not mean that we as human beings are failures, just that we are human!
Weight Loss Tip: write down several options that you have for dealing with emotions and keep that list handy--we must learn to express our emotions, to get them out...and to learn that it is safe to do so!
What should be on the list?
The specifics of your list must be up to you. No one else can tell you what to write on your list, because no one else knows how you feel and what will help you. There are no "shoulds," as in specific things that belong on the list or do not belong on the list.
That being said I have a couple general rules or guidelines that I suggest you follow for the permanent mindset shift that you need for weight loss:
- Avoid having food items on the list--not even healthy substitutions. This doesn't do anything to break the habit of eating to deal with emotions. It doesn't retrain our brain or our bodies if we grab a low-calorie something (including carrot sticks!) instead of a pint of ice cream.
- Vary the time required: sometimes you might only have (and need) a 10 second diversion. Other times you might need a minute, or 5, or 10 or 30...sometimes a quick attention snap is all we need (and all the time we have!) to make a conscious choice rather than grabbing something to eat without thinking. At other times we can, need to and deserve to take a longer, slower approach to the emotional issue at hand.
- Give yourself options. Even when coming up with things to do in different time frames, try to come up with at least 2 different things. Not all activities are suitable for the office, for example, and not all activities will feel right at the given time.
- Mix up the solution type. Don't have everything on your list be physical--there will be times where you are not up for a physical solution. On the other hand, don't merely list things that involve talking or are only solitary. By increasing the variety of solutions you increase your chances for success!
- Gather your tools. This is basically the Boy Scout motto of Be Prepared. If your list includes going for a walk then you need to have walking shoes available otherwise you will be creating an excuse why you can't do the substitute activity and be more apt to just eat...even if you don't consciously go through the thought process. If you need a timer, a picture that helps calm you, music, whatever it is you need...have various tools with you at work and at home and in your car so you can tap into the strength of your list!
10 second solutions: count to 10; primal scream (either silent or vocalized); squeeze a stress ball; scrunch up your face & stick out your tongue
One minute wonders: close your eyes & take 5 or 6 deep belly breaths; shadow boxing; dance; get up & slam a door or throw a pillow; laugh; pet the dog/cat; think about someone you love; visualize the person who is stressing you as a little child; throw a tantrum (not a real one--but get your body involved in expressing your anger/fear/hurt)
Longer remedies: go outdoors & throw rocks as hard/far as you can; go for a walk around the block/building; meditate (5 min/15 min or longer); listen to your favorite album; engage in a hobby; work on a puzzle; lift weights; dance; laugh; sing; get out in nature; play with your kids/pet
Keep it Handy
Now that you have your list of things you can do instead of eating when your emotions are hitting hard post it on your refrigerator and/or pantry...wherever your comfort food resides.
Keep a copy in your wallet or purse.
Have a copy at your desk at work so if you are tempted to hit the snack machine you see it first.
Make a copy for your car so you see it whenever you are tempted by the drive through or you are going grocery shopping.
Sometimes you don't even need to review the list--especially after you have been at this for a while--just seeing the piece of paper and knowing what is on it may be enough to help you make the shift you need to avoid emotional eating.
Last, but not Least: REFER TO THE LIST
Just writing it down may feel good at the time, but it won't have a lasting effect. To have permanent weight loss success we have to make changes in our behavior...and this is a way to make some small yet very powerful changes that WILL result in a healthier you--if you use it.
This is just a tool...and tools don't do the job by themselves, they rely on the user to pick them up and put them to work!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Carbs Cause Obesity?
I got a comment, from a reader who wished to remain anonymous, in response to my post about a Vegan Lifstyle The reader claimed
"Excessive carbs, in the form of grains and/or legumes, are the cause, and not the cure, for obesity."
Sorry, but this is not accurate.
Of course eating too much food of any kind, even healthy foods like whole grains and legumes can cause us to be overweight. So can eating too much meat or even fruits and vegetables. However, eating complex carbohydrates (such as whole grains and legumes) does not cause obesity and they are an important part of a food plan that is geared for our optimum health and energy. Carbs have gotten a bad rap. They are an important source of fuel for our bodies and our brain.
Obesity is generally caused from excessive SIMPLE carbs, like found in white flour, sugar, processed foods.
Is it possible to become obese eating only healthy foods...sure...but you have to work at it because the healthier foods have fiber and bulk which makes you feel more full! If you stuffed yourself every day like it was Thanksgiving and sat around all day without moving your body, even if you only ate wonderfully healthy foods you would definitely have a weight issue.
Being healthy isn't about eliminating foods, it is about gaining control over your eating which is largely a mindset issue. It is also about getting our brain chemistry and hormones in balance, which when we make healthy food choices naturally follows.
I don't advocate saying you can NEVER have sugar, but by controlling our sugar intake (along with that of other simple carbs) and making conscious choices in our eating, we will actually reduce our cravings for these foods that taste good but have little or no nutritional value.
"Excessive carbs, in the form of grains and/or legumes, are the cause, and not the cure, for obesity."
Sorry, but this is not accurate.
Of course eating too much food of any kind, even healthy foods like whole grains and legumes can cause us to be overweight. So can eating too much meat or even fruits and vegetables. However, eating complex carbohydrates (such as whole grains and legumes) does not cause obesity and they are an important part of a food plan that is geared for our optimum health and energy. Carbs have gotten a bad rap. They are an important source of fuel for our bodies and our brain.
Obesity is generally caused from excessive SIMPLE carbs, like found in white flour, sugar, processed foods.
Is it possible to become obese eating only healthy foods...sure...but you have to work at it because the healthier foods have fiber and bulk which makes you feel more full! If you stuffed yourself every day like it was Thanksgiving and sat around all day without moving your body, even if you only ate wonderfully healthy foods you would definitely have a weight issue.
Being healthy isn't about eliminating foods, it is about gaining control over your eating which is largely a mindset issue. It is also about getting our brain chemistry and hormones in balance, which when we make healthy food choices naturally follows.
I don't advocate saying you can NEVER have sugar, but by controlling our sugar intake (along with that of other simple carbs) and making conscious choices in our eating, we will actually reduce our cravings for these foods that taste good but have little or no nutritional value.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentines Day Gifts: Sweet or Sour
Since Valentines Day is about love we tend to shower our loved ones with sweet gifts--often literally filled with sugar and other things that maybe aren't in our best interests. So a sweet gift can easily turn sour--if it is received in the wrong way.
I'm not one to say you can't have sugar ever...and I for one have no intention of giving up chocolate entirely. In fact, I don't believe in having a list of "forbidden foods" because I know how that just makes us psychologically just want it even more.
However, buying sweets simply because it is Valentines Day is less about a conscious, love-filled gift and more about a marketing ploy.
What does Valentines Day really mean to you? Is it about feeling loved by a significant other or by family members? Will you feel loved if you receive a card? a phone call? a nice dinner out? a box of chocolates? a dozen roses? a diamond necklace?
Let your loved one know how you will feel special on this special day--and other ones, too. Unless you let people know what YOU want then you will be subject to what they THINK you want...and those thoughts are generally influenced by marketing efforts from companies who are selling things that they want you to believe will make you happy.
Don't expect people to be able to read your mind--as much as they love you and no matter how long they have been in your life. If you are trying to lose weight and having chocolates around will make it harder for you to make healthy choices so you'd rather not have them in the house--let your voice be heard. On the other hand, if NOT receiving chocolates will make you feel deprived then your loved ones deserve to know that, too!
This is about asking for the kind of support that works for YOU, because each of us operates just a little bit differently based on our biology and more importantly based on our upbringing--all the messages we got growing up.
It can be hard for others to know what we want when we have declared we are intending to lose weight. Will they be accused of trying to sabotage our efforts if they buy us candy? Will they be accused not loving us if they do?
Instead of leaving them guessing and risking buying us a gift that was intending to be loving but leaves us with a sour feeling, figure out what you would like and ask for what you want. This is an excellent exercising for us to express our desires. It is something that most of us are not really good at. Sometimes we aren't good at asking for it because we don't think we are worth it...we are so good at putting others first that it is hard for us to accept that we can be first. Sometimes it is hard for us to ask because we've bought into the idea that "they should just know what I want" even though that is often a moving target! We might not even be aware of what we want--so how the heck can we expect someone else to figure it out???
If you really love chocolate but know that more than one piece sets you off on a binge...then maybe you request a piece of really, really special chocolate from a fancy store rather than a box of ho-hum chocolates from Wal-green's. For me, a really good piece of chocolate allows me to savor it and appreciate it and make a conscious choice about eating it, whereas a big box of chocolate tends to send off physical and mental cravings and before I know it I have eaten way more than I intended.
Or if you aren't a chocoholic like me and can keep it in the house, then be sure to specify what you like so that when you do choose to indulge you get the absolute best satisfaction. In other words, if you love the dark chocolate caramels then you don't want a box filled with milk chocolate creams! You might eat them, but you won't have that same satisfaction, so eat what you really love. You'll actually end up consuming less!
If you don't want chocolates around then think of other gifts that you'd prefer. They don't have to be expensive gifts like jewelry or short-lived ones like flowers (although those are nice, too!) Sometimes the best gifts are inexpensive like a homemade card or a poem. Always the sweetest gifts are the ones that are thought-full: a great book for a reader, a journal for a writer, a photo in a nice frame for the desk at work, a compilation of favorite songs for your ipod for relaxation or working out to...or having the car cleaned, serviced and tires rotated for the busy commuter!
The bottom line is we must learn to love ourselves enough to know that we deserve our health and happiness--and gifts that we really want. So we must love ourselves enough to learn to express our needs.
I'm not one to say you can't have sugar ever...and I for one have no intention of giving up chocolate entirely. In fact, I don't believe in having a list of "forbidden foods" because I know how that just makes us psychologically just want it even more.
However, buying sweets simply because it is Valentines Day is less about a conscious, love-filled gift and more about a marketing ploy.
What does Valentines Day really mean to you? Is it about feeling loved by a significant other or by family members? Will you feel loved if you receive a card? a phone call? a nice dinner out? a box of chocolates? a dozen roses? a diamond necklace?
Let your loved one know how you will feel special on this special day--and other ones, too. Unless you let people know what YOU want then you will be subject to what they THINK you want...and those thoughts are generally influenced by marketing efforts from companies who are selling things that they want you to believe will make you happy.
Don't expect people to be able to read your mind--as much as they love you and no matter how long they have been in your life. If you are trying to lose weight and having chocolates around will make it harder for you to make healthy choices so you'd rather not have them in the house--let your voice be heard. On the other hand, if NOT receiving chocolates will make you feel deprived then your loved ones deserve to know that, too!
This is about asking for the kind of support that works for YOU, because each of us operates just a little bit differently based on our biology and more importantly based on our upbringing--all the messages we got growing up.
It can be hard for others to know what we want when we have declared we are intending to lose weight. Will they be accused of trying to sabotage our efforts if they buy us candy? Will they be accused not loving us if they do?
Instead of leaving them guessing and risking buying us a gift that was intending to be loving but leaves us with a sour feeling, figure out what you would like and ask for what you want. This is an excellent exercising for us to express our desires. It is something that most of us are not really good at. Sometimes we aren't good at asking for it because we don't think we are worth it...we are so good at putting others first that it is hard for us to accept that we can be first. Sometimes it is hard for us to ask because we've bought into the idea that "they should just know what I want" even though that is often a moving target! We might not even be aware of what we want--so how the heck can we expect someone else to figure it out???
If you really love chocolate but know that more than one piece sets you off on a binge...then maybe you request a piece of really, really special chocolate from a fancy store rather than a box of ho-hum chocolates from Wal-green's. For me, a really good piece of chocolate allows me to savor it and appreciate it and make a conscious choice about eating it, whereas a big box of chocolate tends to send off physical and mental cravings and before I know it I have eaten way more than I intended.
Or if you aren't a chocoholic like me and can keep it in the house, then be sure to specify what you like so that when you do choose to indulge you get the absolute best satisfaction. In other words, if you love the dark chocolate caramels then you don't want a box filled with milk chocolate creams! You might eat them, but you won't have that same satisfaction, so eat what you really love. You'll actually end up consuming less!
If you don't want chocolates around then think of other gifts that you'd prefer. They don't have to be expensive gifts like jewelry or short-lived ones like flowers (although those are nice, too!) Sometimes the best gifts are inexpensive like a homemade card or a poem. Always the sweetest gifts are the ones that are thought-full: a great book for a reader, a journal for a writer, a photo in a nice frame for the desk at work, a compilation of favorite songs for your ipod for relaxation or working out to...or having the car cleaned, serviced and tires rotated for the busy commuter!
The bottom line is we must learn to love ourselves enough to know that we deserve our health and happiness--and gifts that we really want. So we must love ourselves enough to learn to express our needs.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Weight Loss Success is NOT Math
I get so frustrated by conventional "wisdom" that says weight loss success is a math formula. While there is certainly SOME truth to eating less and moving more in order to shed excess fat, there is more to it than that.
For years I thought it was a simple math formula. That left me frustrated, convinced there was something wrong with me. I was sure that everyone else in the world could make the formula work...that only if I was smart enough or had enough will power or whatever else I thought I was lacking...then I, too, would be able to live in the land of the slender.
Talk about deluded! But it was no wonder. It seems the entire world believes that that's all there is to losing weight. I've learned after a lot of failed attempts that it is not that simple.
First there is the whole calorie equality thing--all calories are NOT created equal.
Then there's stress--known to pack pounds on and hold them onto some of us with iron fists even if we are eating and exercising and doing "everything right."
And finally, but not least...in fact, probably the biggest hiccup in the equation theory is our beliefs. Our minds are very powerful things and if we have a mindset that we cannot lose weight, then our bodies will believe it and we will struggle. Sometimes we will sabotage our efforts and other times we will not lose weight no matter how hard we try.
Please, don't tell me losing weight is a math equation. I never liked math in the first place and I hated dieting. Put the two together and...well, misery likes company if you know what I mean.
Stop focusing on counting every calorie that you eat and burn. Focus on your mindset. Yes, make healthier food choices. Yes, move your body more. But believe you can do it--and you can.
I know you can. I know I can. I know we can.
To our health--without the math.
For years I thought it was a simple math formula. That left me frustrated, convinced there was something wrong with me. I was sure that everyone else in the world could make the formula work...that only if I was smart enough or had enough will power or whatever else I thought I was lacking...then I, too, would be able to live in the land of the slender.
Talk about deluded! But it was no wonder. It seems the entire world believes that that's all there is to losing weight. I've learned after a lot of failed attempts that it is not that simple.
First there is the whole calorie equality thing--all calories are NOT created equal.
Then there's stress--known to pack pounds on and hold them onto some of us with iron fists even if we are eating and exercising and doing "everything right."
And finally, but not least...in fact, probably the biggest hiccup in the equation theory is our beliefs. Our minds are very powerful things and if we have a mindset that we cannot lose weight, then our bodies will believe it and we will struggle. Sometimes we will sabotage our efforts and other times we will not lose weight no matter how hard we try.
Please, don't tell me losing weight is a math equation. I never liked math in the first place and I hated dieting. Put the two together and...well, misery likes company if you know what I mean.
Stop focusing on counting every calorie that you eat and burn. Focus on your mindset. Yes, make healthier food choices. Yes, move your body more. But believe you can do it--and you can.
I know you can. I know I can. I know we can.
To our health--without the math.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Love Is In the Air
It is fall and it is time for us to "go back to school" and learn to love ourselves.
Loving ourselves is crucial to attaining our health and fitness goals...we just cannot have permanent weight loss success if we hate our bodies, and by extension, ourselves.
Tall order I know. We have loads of practice hating ourselves. We deserve to cut ourselves a little slack and not expect to have overnight results.
We won't change from loathing ourselves to loving ourselves overnight any more than we will be 300 pounds one day and 150 pounds the next.
Both changes take time...but if we change the first one the second will naturally follow.
I developed a technique that helped me to learn to love myself...to be able to actually look myself in the eye and say, "I love you Laurie" and not feel like a big, fat liar!
I reveal this technique in my book, Refuse to Diet: Weight Loss Success Starts with Your Mind...Not Your Mouth and in this month's topic on my website RefuseToDiet.com
I hope you'll join me as autumn brings out the bounty of love...and teaches us that small changes bring us big rewards in health, happiness and the slender bodies we deserve!
Loving ourselves is crucial to attaining our health and fitness goals...we just cannot have permanent weight loss success if we hate our bodies, and by extension, ourselves.
Tall order I know. We have loads of practice hating ourselves. We deserve to cut ourselves a little slack and not expect to have overnight results.
We won't change from loathing ourselves to loving ourselves overnight any more than we will be 300 pounds one day and 150 pounds the next.
Both changes take time...but if we change the first one the second will naturally follow.
I developed a technique that helped me to learn to love myself...to be able to actually look myself in the eye and say, "I love you Laurie" and not feel like a big, fat liar!
I reveal this technique in my book, Refuse to Diet: Weight Loss Success Starts with Your Mind...Not Your Mouth and in this month's topic on my website RefuseToDiet.com
I hope you'll join me as autumn brings out the bounty of love...and teaches us that small changes bring us big rewards in health, happiness and the slender bodies we deserve!
Friday, August 27, 2010
Weight Loss Success Defined
I have talked to lots and lots of people about weight loss...and weight gain...and the challenges that we face in truly having long-term success in achieving our health and fitness goals. We all have one thing in common--the desire to have this success, that most of us find to be elusive.
This common desire got me thinking about how I define "weight loss success." In discussing the idea with others I have heard so many different ways we choose to define success and I wonder how YOU define it.
I don't know that there are any "right" or "wrong" answers or definitions...it is, as one of my cyber-friends and fellow recovered dieter, Karen Anderson, says..."whatever works" I do think it helps us to look at how we define whether or not we are successful--and how we measure whether we have achieved that definition or not.
Are we placing such a tight definition on the term that it is next to impossible to achieve? Are we setting ourselves up to fail because of how we define success? Or is our definition a kick-in-the-pants goal that inspires us to make healthy choices? Or is our definition so relaxed we don't make any changes in our lives at all?
I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say...in the meantime, I'll think about my own definition of weight loss success!
This common desire got me thinking about how I define "weight loss success." In discussing the idea with others I have heard so many different ways we choose to define success and I wonder how YOU define it.
- Is succeeding at weight loss only realized when you reach a specific number on the scale or clothing size?
- Is success lowering cholesterol or percent body fat?
- Is success for you fitting into a special outfit--your wedding dress, for example?
- Do you measure success with a tape...your waist or hips have gotten smaller by so many inches?
- Does success mean that you have more energy...you can walk or run or swim or bike more easily? further? faster?
- Is success only achieved when you can eat whatever you want without gaining weight?
- Do you deem it a success because of how others view you--that others think you are more beautiful? healthier?
- Is your success about how you feel physically? emotionally?
- Is success only achieved at the end...by reaching a specific goal? by reaching and maintaining it (for how long)?
- Or is success the daily journey, seeing healthier habits evolve, maybe even before you see results on the scale?
- Can you deem your weight loss efforts successful if you reach your goal even if others think you weigh too much?
I don't know that there are any "right" or "wrong" answers or definitions...it is, as one of my cyber-friends and fellow recovered dieter, Karen Anderson, says..."whatever works" I do think it helps us to look at how we define whether or not we are successful--and how we measure whether we have achieved that definition or not.
Are we placing such a tight definition on the term that it is next to impossible to achieve? Are we setting ourselves up to fail because of how we define success? Or is our definition a kick-in-the-pants goal that inspires us to make healthy choices? Or is our definition so relaxed we don't make any changes in our lives at all?
I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say...in the meantime, I'll think about my own definition of weight loss success!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Confessions of an Emotional Eater
One of the best ways to avoid emotional eating is to plan ahead and have other outlets for your emotions. That way you are ready and able to deal with emotions in a healthier way. One of my ways of dealing with emotions is writing on my computer, whether it is articles or blog posts or connecting with people on Twitter or Facebook or through email, I have found the computer to be a great tool in my weight loss success plan. So imagine my dismay when I am without a computer because it crashes. Then imagine, after buying a new computer, less than 2 months later the NEW one crashes--the morning I am leaving for a trip to help my 80-something mother through a surgery and multiple doctors’ visits.
Whew. I was not a happy camper.
Sure I had some other alternatives such as going for walks and talking to my family back home, but the computer and writing are such an integral part of my process that losing that outlet was a big blow for me. And I confess: I ate. A lot.
But the point isn’t really about what I could have done differently, what I could have done better; it isn’t about pointing out my flaws; it certainly isn’t about beating myself up for not being perfect.
The point is just that…I’m not perfect…and that’s okay! We don’t have to be perfect in order to be healthy. Truth is, being perfect is not only not possible for mere humans, it isn’t really healthy to strive for perfection as the goal. I know this because for many, many years that is exactly what I tried to do. And when I fell short of that goal I was really hard on myself and I either was super-critical or I just gave up on all attempts to be healthy…usually I did both! While I was labeling myself as a “perfectionist” I was really setting myself up for failure and then getting mad at myself when the inevitable happened.
My mother’s surgery went well (thanks for asking), I’m back home now, my new (and newly repaired) computer is as well, and I have brought a few extra pounds with me as a souvenir of the trip. It isn’t the end of the world…it isn’t even the end of my wardrobe, although things are a bit tighter than I’d like.
So now I can get back to dealing with my emotions in a more healthy way than by eating. But you know what? I’m not kicking myself about the eating…it definitely was a tool I used to help me through a challenge. Whether there were better tools available or not is actually beside the point. Now that I am home in an environment where I feel a bit more in control, I can go back to doing the things that I know work for me in the long run.
This trip was the perfect storm for me…allowing me the chance to eat for purely emotional reasons…and I came out of it, a bit battered but intact! I know that there will be more storms in the future and some I will weather fine and others will toss me around a bit. That is part of what life is about…it is about the long haul, not the single storm.
Ironically, by letting go of the need to be perfect I am able to accept who I am and realize that I am still a good person who deserves health…a person who can take it one step at a time, even if once in a while those steps run a little backwards! The journey to permanent weight loss is not a straight path. This experience reinforces for me that I am on the right path, that by loving myself enough to be gentle with my transgressions I will come out of it faster and healthier…and weighing less, too!
Whew. I was not a happy camper.
Sure I had some other alternatives such as going for walks and talking to my family back home, but the computer and writing are such an integral part of my process that losing that outlet was a big blow for me. And I confess: I ate. A lot.
But the point isn’t really about what I could have done differently, what I could have done better; it isn’t about pointing out my flaws; it certainly isn’t about beating myself up for not being perfect.
The point is just that…I’m not perfect…and that’s okay! We don’t have to be perfect in order to be healthy. Truth is, being perfect is not only not possible for mere humans, it isn’t really healthy to strive for perfection as the goal. I know this because for many, many years that is exactly what I tried to do. And when I fell short of that goal I was really hard on myself and I either was super-critical or I just gave up on all attempts to be healthy…usually I did both! While I was labeling myself as a “perfectionist” I was really setting myself up for failure and then getting mad at myself when the inevitable happened.
My mother’s surgery went well (thanks for asking), I’m back home now, my new (and newly repaired) computer is as well, and I have brought a few extra pounds with me as a souvenir of the trip. It isn’t the end of the world…it isn’t even the end of my wardrobe, although things are a bit tighter than I’d like.
So now I can get back to dealing with my emotions in a more healthy way than by eating. But you know what? I’m not kicking myself about the eating…it definitely was a tool I used to help me through a challenge. Whether there were better tools available or not is actually beside the point. Now that I am home in an environment where I feel a bit more in control, I can go back to doing the things that I know work for me in the long run.
This trip was the perfect storm for me…allowing me the chance to eat for purely emotional reasons…and I came out of it, a bit battered but intact! I know that there will be more storms in the future and some I will weather fine and others will toss me around a bit. That is part of what life is about…it is about the long haul, not the single storm.
Ironically, by letting go of the need to be perfect I am able to accept who I am and realize that I am still a good person who deserves health…a person who can take it one step at a time, even if once in a while those steps run a little backwards! The journey to permanent weight loss is not a straight path. This experience reinforces for me that I am on the right path, that by loving myself enough to be gentle with my transgressions I will come out of it faster and healthier…and weighing less, too!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
You Can't Wish Weight Loss Success on Anyone
We all want to be healthy, don't we?
We say we do, but if that is true, then why do we ever allow ourselves to become obese?
And once we find ourselves in that situation...somehow magically (black magic, it would seem) transported into this immense body, why don't we simply make the changes necessary to achieve our weight loss goals?
And, better yet...how come our husband (or wife, or best friend or kids) don't?
If you know someone who is obese then you probably have asked yourself something like, why doesn't he/she lose weight? After all, you love them...you want them around for a long time. You may even have great fear for their health and their life because of their weight.
No matter how much you love them, you cannot will them to take responsibility for their lives. You cannot convince them to lose weight. You can't bargain with God to have them see the light and change their ways.
And that's a good thing.
That's good because that means we are each 100% responsible for our own lives...we aren't victims of someone else's wishes and desires.
After all, if I could wish someone to thinness then I could wish them to fatness, too!
So while you can't force someone else to be healthy, you can love them and help them to feel loved and valued. And you can hold in your heart the vision of them as you want to see them...healthy, energetic, vibrant. And you can be sure that you are modeling the behaviors that will enable them (and yourself) to have that healthy body, too.
Then it is up to them if they want to pick up that image or wallow in their false mirror of fatness.
We just never know what is going on in someone else's life...what demons they are facing...what pain they are experiencing.
Until the time is right for them, they won't have success at weight loss, as hard as they try. They might have temporary success...but the weight will just come back unless the issues behind the weight are resolved...and statistically the chances are they will end up heavier than when they started if they try to diet their way to slenderness.
Worrying about their health is natural because you care about them. But worrying about it, talking about it, does not help either of you.
Love and encourage...model healthy behavior...be joyful, happy and healthy yourself...and see them as whole and healthy people.
Then leave it up to them to live into that!
We say we do, but if that is true, then why do we ever allow ourselves to become obese?
And once we find ourselves in that situation...somehow magically (black magic, it would seem) transported into this immense body, why don't we simply make the changes necessary to achieve our weight loss goals?
And, better yet...how come our husband (or wife, or best friend or kids) don't?
If you know someone who is obese then you probably have asked yourself something like, why doesn't he/she lose weight? After all, you love them...you want them around for a long time. You may even have great fear for their health and their life because of their weight.
No matter how much you love them, you cannot will them to take responsibility for their lives. You cannot convince them to lose weight. You can't bargain with God to have them see the light and change their ways.
And that's a good thing.
That's good because that means we are each 100% responsible for our own lives...we aren't victims of someone else's wishes and desires.
After all, if I could wish someone to thinness then I could wish them to fatness, too!
So while you can't force someone else to be healthy, you can love them and help them to feel loved and valued. And you can hold in your heart the vision of them as you want to see them...healthy, energetic, vibrant. And you can be sure that you are modeling the behaviors that will enable them (and yourself) to have that healthy body, too.
Then it is up to them if they want to pick up that image or wallow in their false mirror of fatness.
We just never know what is going on in someone else's life...what demons they are facing...what pain they are experiencing.
Until the time is right for them, they won't have success at weight loss, as hard as they try. They might have temporary success...but the weight will just come back unless the issues behind the weight are resolved...and statistically the chances are they will end up heavier than when they started if they try to diet their way to slenderness.
Worrying about their health is natural because you care about them. But worrying about it, talking about it, does not help either of you.
Love and encourage...model healthy behavior...be joyful, happy and healthy yourself...and see them as whole and healthy people.
Then leave it up to them to live into that!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Weight Loss Success Overnight
I didn't become obese overnight...and I didn't drop 125 pounds overnight...but the key to successfully losing weight CAN happen in an instant and therefore your success will begin "overnight!"
You and I both know we didn't get to be overweight with just one thought, one meal, one extra snack. It took repeatedly practicing unhealthy thoughts and behaviors until they felt "normal"...and repeating them so frequently that they became second nature and you felt like you weren't choosing...that you actually had to eat that way...that you had no choice.
You do have a choice. Each of us does. We can choose to continue our old patterns. We can choose to make new ones.
The choice happens right now.
The practice happens right now.
Right now and right now and right now and right now. Over and over again.
It takes practice to climb out of the old rut and to carve a new path through the jungle.
But every day we can make that choice and practice small behaviors to make our lives massively better...and this can, and should be, a delicious journey of self-discovery, improved health and joy.
And soon, you will look back...as I have...and realize that you have a closet full of clothes that no longer fit...that haven't fit for a long, long time. It will feel like you got these results overnight because it will have been easy. No struggles. You wake up one morning and you have become the person that you envisioned yourself to be!
You and I both know we didn't get to be overweight with just one thought, one meal, one extra snack. It took repeatedly practicing unhealthy thoughts and behaviors until they felt "normal"...and repeating them so frequently that they became second nature and you felt like you weren't choosing...that you actually had to eat that way...that you had no choice.
You do have a choice. Each of us does. We can choose to continue our old patterns. We can choose to make new ones.
The choice happens right now.
The practice happens right now.
Right now and right now and right now and right now. Over and over again.
It takes practice to climb out of the old rut and to carve a new path through the jungle.
But every day we can make that choice and practice small behaviors to make our lives massively better...and this can, and should be, a delicious journey of self-discovery, improved health and joy.
And soon, you will look back...as I have...and realize that you have a closet full of clothes that no longer fit...that haven't fit for a long, long time. It will feel like you got these results overnight because it will have been easy. No struggles. You wake up one morning and you have become the person that you envisioned yourself to be!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
For Weight Loss Success Let Go of Control
We stuff our faces in an attempt to control our feelings. We arrange our days and our lives to control our environment and interactions with others. Then when other people don't follow our plan, we feel out of control...and when we feel out of control we eat.
It is ironic that our desire to be in control leads us to overeating and being overweight...and feeling like we are out of control! At least regarding food. We may feel in control about everything else in our lives, but weak when it comes to chocolate, ice cream, pasta...or whatever poison soothes the savage beast inside of us.
Because we become overweight others may seek to change us--to control our appearance or actions. It may be because our appearance is unpleasant to them, or because they are concerned for our health. Whether you are a model told by the industry you would look better and get more jobs if you just lost 10 pounds, or you are a stay-at-home mom being told by her doctor she needs to lose 100 lbs, it is no one else's business to tell you what you "should" do or who you should be. It is your business and yours alone to decide who you are and what you want in your life...
That being said there are times when we can you some help. When we have addictions (to food or anything else) our judgment can be clouded. In that case it can be helpful to seek input from others...but still, the decision is ultimately our own to make...it is our life, our choice, our decision.
Make the decision that you will no longer attempt to control the outside world. Face that you cannot control conditions and others. It will amaze you at how liberating that decision can be!
You only have to control our reactions to your feelings...with the goal of feeling good about yourself...your body, your life, your being.
It does not serve anyone...not you, not your family, not your employer, not the world...for you to suffer and be miserable in an attempt to reach a goal--whether that goal is self-inspired or imposed upon you by others.
Look down the road a bit. See yourself as the happy person you want to be. Focus on that feeling...every day and every moment. Focus on feeling good, feeling healthy and expect improvement...and you will receive and achieve it...without having to control anything!
Letting go of the need to control will actually be the ticket to freeing you to actually get what you want in the first place--a healthy, energetic and slender body!
It is ironic that our desire to be in control leads us to overeating and being overweight...and feeling like we are out of control! At least regarding food. We may feel in control about everything else in our lives, but weak when it comes to chocolate, ice cream, pasta...or whatever poison soothes the savage beast inside of us.
Because we become overweight others may seek to change us--to control our appearance or actions. It may be because our appearance is unpleasant to them, or because they are concerned for our health. Whether you are a model told by the industry you would look better and get more jobs if you just lost 10 pounds, or you are a stay-at-home mom being told by her doctor she needs to lose 100 lbs, it is no one else's business to tell you what you "should" do or who you should be. It is your business and yours alone to decide who you are and what you want in your life...
That being said there are times when we can you some help. When we have addictions (to food or anything else) our judgment can be clouded. In that case it can be helpful to seek input from others...but still, the decision is ultimately our own to make...it is our life, our choice, our decision.
Make the decision that you will no longer attempt to control the outside world. Face that you cannot control conditions and others. It will amaze you at how liberating that decision can be!
You only have to control our reactions to your feelings...with the goal of feeling good about yourself...your body, your life, your being.
It does not serve anyone...not you, not your family, not your employer, not the world...for you to suffer and be miserable in an attempt to reach a goal--whether that goal is self-inspired or imposed upon you by others.
Look down the road a bit. See yourself as the happy person you want to be. Focus on that feeling...every day and every moment. Focus on feeling good, feeling healthy and expect improvement...and you will receive and achieve it...without having to control anything!
Letting go of the need to control will actually be the ticket to freeing you to actually get what you want in the first place--a healthy, energetic and slender body!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Weight Loss Success Beats All Comparisons
We must stop comparing ourselves to others in order to have weight loss success.
Really this is true whether we are talking about our weight, our size, appearance...or other things like our abilities, financial or social status, possessions, jobs, or anything else in life.
To lose weight successfully...or to do anything well and feel really good about it, you must focus on where you are and where you want to be. It is not your business to be concerned with where anyone else is...this is a big mindset shift for a lot of people...in our culture we are trained early on to "compare and contrast," to rate, to grade and be graded.
The truth is, comparisons only lead to a winner and a loser...and I don't mean losing as in dropping pounds! Sometimes you may feel "better than" the other person, but in my experience we more often suffer from comparisons...we end up on the short end. And truthfully, even if we don't come up short in the comparison, feeling or looking good only because we make someone else (comparatively) wrong or bad or less than does not truly build us up from the inside. We are trapped...victims of the next comparison.
This isn't a race or a competition...but if it were, there is only one person you are in competition with--yourself!
When you look at your weight loss success this way then winning simply means getting better more often than backsliding! Being better, happier, healthier...moment by moment...day by day...and that is something all of us can do!
Really this is true whether we are talking about our weight, our size, appearance...or other things like our abilities, financial or social status, possessions, jobs, or anything else in life.
To lose weight successfully...or to do anything well and feel really good about it, you must focus on where you are and where you want to be. It is not your business to be concerned with where anyone else is...this is a big mindset shift for a lot of people...in our culture we are trained early on to "compare and contrast," to rate, to grade and be graded.
The truth is, comparisons only lead to a winner and a loser...and I don't mean losing as in dropping pounds! Sometimes you may feel "better than" the other person, but in my experience we more often suffer from comparisons...we end up on the short end. And truthfully, even if we don't come up short in the comparison, feeling or looking good only because we make someone else (comparatively) wrong or bad or less than does not truly build us up from the inside. We are trapped...victims of the next comparison.
This isn't a race or a competition...but if it were, there is only one person you are in competition with--yourself!
When you look at your weight loss success this way then winning simply means getting better more often than backsliding! Being better, happier, healthier...moment by moment...day by day...and that is something all of us can do!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Is Bariatric Surgery the Easy Answer to Weight Loss Success?
Bariatric surgery is a catch-all term. It includes any type of surgery that is conducted as a way to lose weight. Is surgery the way to lose weight successfully? Is it, as some derisive people claim, the "easy way out?"
Personally, I don't believe there is any magic "bullet" that will result in weight loss success...I don't think there is an "easy way out" and I don't think there is any one solution that is perfect for every body. We are all unique, we have different bodies, different lifestyles, different temperments and different health conditions.
And I've known a few people who have had weight loss surgery. I'd say it is anything but easy.
One type of surgery is "Lap Band"...which is done through an incision through the abdomen so it is less invasive than other surgeries. The concept is that people will have to eat less at a sitting because of the silicone band that is placed around part of the stomach. It is adjustable...and can be replaced if needed. This is a newer type of surgery...at least here in the United States.
Supposedly more effective, but more invasive, is the Gastric Bypass surgery. There are actually many different types of Gastric Bypass, but in any case the surgeon physically changes the stomach and/or intestines, allowing for less room for food.
Weight loss from these surgeries can be quite dramatic. We've seen famous cases like Al Roker and Carnie Wilson...some with great results and others who seem to struggle.
The truth is, there are risks with any surgery...and bariatric surgery is no exception. There is a very real risk of complications, including death, from the surgery itself. Post-op complications include blood clots and the lovely condition called "dumping syndrome" which can be nausea, vomiting and diarrhea caused by food moving too quickly through the system.
The literature will tell you the only way to ultimately reach your ideal weight--and to have permanent weight loss, is to watch what you eat and exercise. According to the Mayo Clinic weight loss success requires permanent changes to your lifestyle.
Easy? Hardly. Short cut? Maybe, maybe not.
I know I considered surgery at one time in my life when I didn't think anything else would work. I felt like I had tried every diet and exercise plan out there without success. So I am not about to criticize anyone for deciding to go that route.
Is it necessary? Is it a good idea? The right choice? I can't say...that is completely up to the individual to decide. But I do know that it is not magic...the surgery alone will not solve the problem...especially not if you eat for emotional reasons!
Personally, I'm glad I didn't have the surgery when I thought about it. I wouldn't have been ready emotionally for it and I don't think I would have been a long-term success. And how frustrating would that be to go through the surgery only to gain weight back.
No matter what option you choose for your weight loss journey, be sure that you mindset is right. Work there first. Make sure you learn to express your emotions rather than eating through them. These skills will allow you to achieve your healthy, slender body...whether you do that by counting calories, by surgery, or by deciding to Refuse to Diet like me!
Personally, I don't believe there is any magic "bullet" that will result in weight loss success...I don't think there is an "easy way out" and I don't think there is any one solution that is perfect for every body. We are all unique, we have different bodies, different lifestyles, different temperments and different health conditions.
And I've known a few people who have had weight loss surgery. I'd say it is anything but easy.
One type of surgery is "Lap Band"...which is done through an incision through the abdomen so it is less invasive than other surgeries. The concept is that people will have to eat less at a sitting because of the silicone band that is placed around part of the stomach. It is adjustable...and can be replaced if needed. This is a newer type of surgery...at least here in the United States.
Supposedly more effective, but more invasive, is the Gastric Bypass surgery. There are actually many different types of Gastric Bypass, but in any case the surgeon physically changes the stomach and/or intestines, allowing for less room for food.
Weight loss from these surgeries can be quite dramatic. We've seen famous cases like Al Roker and Carnie Wilson...some with great results and others who seem to struggle.
The truth is, there are risks with any surgery...and bariatric surgery is no exception. There is a very real risk of complications, including death, from the surgery itself. Post-op complications include blood clots and the lovely condition called "dumping syndrome" which can be nausea, vomiting and diarrhea caused by food moving too quickly through the system.
The literature will tell you the only way to ultimately reach your ideal weight--and to have permanent weight loss, is to watch what you eat and exercise. According to the Mayo Clinic weight loss success requires permanent changes to your lifestyle.
Easy? Hardly. Short cut? Maybe, maybe not.
I know I considered surgery at one time in my life when I didn't think anything else would work. I felt like I had tried every diet and exercise plan out there without success. So I am not about to criticize anyone for deciding to go that route.
Is it necessary? Is it a good idea? The right choice? I can't say...that is completely up to the individual to decide. But I do know that it is not magic...the surgery alone will not solve the problem...especially not if you eat for emotional reasons!
Personally, I'm glad I didn't have the surgery when I thought about it. I wouldn't have been ready emotionally for it and I don't think I would have been a long-term success. And how frustrating would that be to go through the surgery only to gain weight back.
No matter what option you choose for your weight loss journey, be sure that you mindset is right. Work there first. Make sure you learn to express your emotions rather than eating through them. These skills will allow you to achieve your healthy, slender body...whether you do that by counting calories, by surgery, or by deciding to Refuse to Diet like me!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
General Affirmations for Weight Loss Success
There are lots of affirmations for weight loss...and yesterday I mentioned that affirmations are a great place to start changing your mindset, because it is usually our mindset that is what is keeping us from experiencing weight loss success.
I found these affirmations and wanted to share them with you...they aren't specific to weight loss...they are what Louise Hay calls "good, general" affirmations...if you practice these you are apt to find all areas of your life improving over time.
These affirmations are courtesy of Gillian Bowles, a certified teacher of Louise's Heal Your Life course--
Affirmations were an integral component to my being able to drop 125 pounds without dieting. They work because they help you shift your mindset...I had to believe that I was actually capable of losing weight (I had lots of "evidence" that suggested otherwise) and I had to re-learn that I deserved healthy...I sure didn't feel I was worth it.
If you struggle with your weight, give some affirmations a try. They can't hurt...and what have you got to lose but some old negative ideas...and maybe a few extra pounds?
I found these affirmations and wanted to share them with you...they aren't specific to weight loss...they are what Louise Hay calls "good, general" affirmations...if you practice these you are apt to find all areas of your life improving over time.
These affirmations are courtesy of Gillian Bowles, a certified teacher of Louise's Heal Your Life course--
I am worth loving
I do not have to earn love. I am loveable becasue I exist.
Others reflect the love I have for myself.
Affirmations were an integral component to my being able to drop 125 pounds without dieting. They work because they help you shift your mindset...I had to believe that I was actually capable of losing weight (I had lots of "evidence" that suggested otherwise) and I had to re-learn that I deserved healthy...I sure didn't feel I was worth it.
If you struggle with your weight, give some affirmations a try. They can't hurt...and what have you got to lose but some old negative ideas...and maybe a few extra pounds?
Friday, February 26, 2010
Believing in Yourself Critical to Weight loss Success on the Biggest Loser
One of the biggest weight loss challenges overweight people face is believing in themselves. This is at the core of my Refuse To Diet theory. We somehow have absorbed the message that we don't deserve to be slim and healthy...we aren't worthy of it.
This appeared even on the Biggest Loser Television show recently. When one of the other "contestants" was sent home, one of the remaining folks felt it was difficult to continue. He really struggled with feeling deserving of being there.
We can go on all sorts of diets and every exercise routine in the world...but if we do not believe we deserve the gift of health then we will not succeed. Not in the long-run. In order to achieve and maintain, permanent weight loss you must come to know in your heart that this is your birthright.
Diets don't work because they don't address these issues. They don't fail because we are weak...it isn't about willpower...it is completely our mindset about our ability to lose weight and our deserving a healthy, slender body.
I loved how this beautiful "Loser" put it, he said that he realized he had always run from his feelings and it was time to start running towards...and through...them.
You probably don't have access to Bob or Jillian to help you face your emotional "issues"...you can get other help...and you can start working on improving your sense of worthiness right now, at home. Write down some positive affirmations about you...it doesn't have to start with anything to do with your body...just about you as a human being. Now, practice saying those affirmations over and over all day long. Every time you feel negative, say the positive affirmation.
Before long, you will even begin to believe it...and that's when you know you are making progress...and that's when you will really start to see and feel the results!
I know that you deserve a healthy, energetic and slender body...and I know that you can achieve it! Go for it!
This appeared even on the Biggest Loser Television show recently. When one of the other "contestants" was sent home, one of the remaining folks felt it was difficult to continue. He really struggled with feeling deserving of being there.
We can go on all sorts of diets and every exercise routine in the world...but if we do not believe we deserve the gift of health then we will not succeed. Not in the long-run. In order to achieve and maintain, permanent weight loss you must come to know in your heart that this is your birthright.
Diets don't work because they don't address these issues. They don't fail because we are weak...it isn't about willpower...it is completely our mindset about our ability to lose weight and our deserving a healthy, slender body.
I loved how this beautiful "Loser" put it, he said that he realized he had always run from his feelings and it was time to start running towards...and through...them.
You probably don't have access to Bob or Jillian to help you face your emotional "issues"...you can get other help...and you can start working on improving your sense of worthiness right now, at home. Write down some positive affirmations about you...it doesn't have to start with anything to do with your body...just about you as a human being. Now, practice saying those affirmations over and over all day long. Every time you feel negative, say the positive affirmation.
Before long, you will even begin to believe it...and that's when you know you are making progress...and that's when you will really start to see and feel the results!
I know that you deserve a healthy, energetic and slender body...and I know that you can achieve it! Go for it!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Weight Loss Challenge Why Do I Feel Like &*# Today
I had a rough day yesterday...never seemed to quite focus or feel right...and I was wondering why that was. I wanted to eat and sink into bed and do nothing.
This can be a huge challenge to losing weight--not because it happens just once, but if it happens from time to time, there may be a reason for it that you deserve to identify. By figuring out what triggers these moods we can help prevent them in the future.
For me, this particular mood was largely triggered because I got off my normal routine of exercise and affirmations. I always feel better when I do them both.
Yesterday I didn't do my affirmations...I did put other positive things into my brain, but the affirmations and mirror work are a real positive force for me that I missed.
I also got sidetracked and didn't do my 15 minute workout routine.
These 2 things combined started my day "off" and I never quite got back on track even though I worked at it all day.
The point is not to berate myself over this. The point is to learn from it. So, I'm going to be sure I do my 15 minutes and my affirmations today, knowing that I feel better when I do. It would be easy to say "why bother" or "15 minutes can't make that much difference" but I know that it does...and I deserve to feel my best...I am worth spending that 15 minutes on myself!
This can be a huge challenge to losing weight--not because it happens just once, but if it happens from time to time, there may be a reason for it that you deserve to identify. By figuring out what triggers these moods we can help prevent them in the future.
For me, this particular mood was largely triggered because I got off my normal routine of exercise and affirmations. I always feel better when I do them both.
Yesterday I didn't do my affirmations...I did put other positive things into my brain, but the affirmations and mirror work are a real positive force for me that I missed.
I also got sidetracked and didn't do my 15 minute workout routine.
These 2 things combined started my day "off" and I never quite got back on track even though I worked at it all day.
The point is not to berate myself over this. The point is to learn from it. So, I'm going to be sure I do my 15 minutes and my affirmations today, knowing that I feel better when I do. It would be easy to say "why bother" or "15 minutes can't make that much difference" but I know that it does...and I deserve to feel my best...I am worth spending that 15 minutes on myself!
Friday, January 8, 2010
Counting Calories Just Sucks...and Waist of Time for Weight Loss
I've never liked counting calories, or carbs or fat grams for that matter. But, boy did I.
Religiously.
Until I realized that no only was it sucking away my time and pleasure, it just wasn't working! Counting calories was in the period before I really figured out that diets don't work...I may have had an inkling, but just wasn't convinced.
Is it important to be aware of calories? Well, if you've never looked at calories it might be an eye opener to see comparative values...but generally speaking most people who are counting calories already know that when something is fried it has more calories than that plate of steamed vegetables.
But counting on counting calories to lose weight? Not for me. I did it for years and it doesn't work! For me it was such a negative focus and it became about math...how many calories am I eating and how much exercise do I have to do to burn that off? No thanks!
But here's another reason why counting calories doesn't work--they lie about the calorie content! Who is checking the labels?
Recently a study was conducted of a variety of well-known chain restaurants...looking at the calories they claimed were in their foods and how many they contained. Surprise! They actual count averaged almost 20% higher than what was advertised!
Think you can count on the frozen foods from big name "diet" labels like South Beach Living, Healthy Choice. Think again. Even Lean Cuisine and Weight Watchers fell short when it came to accuracy in numbers--they all had on average 8% more calories than claimed.
Is this because of some plot to keep us fat? Probably not. Experts recognize that there are variations in testing methods and small changes in portions and also the human factor...you might actually get an extra dollop of mayo on your meal for example.
So is it a waste of time reading the nutritional content when we look at labels or go to restaurants? No! It might be the only thing that gives you a clue that there are "hidden" ingredients in the meal...it can give you a general comparative value...just don't believe that it is 100% accurate.
Bottom line--don't count calories. Be aware that some foods have enough calories to meet your minimum daily requirement...but losing weight is not about math...it starts with your mind!
Religiously.
Until I realized that no only was it sucking away my time and pleasure, it just wasn't working! Counting calories was in the period before I really figured out that diets don't work...I may have had an inkling, but just wasn't convinced.
Is it important to be aware of calories? Well, if you've never looked at calories it might be an eye opener to see comparative values...but generally speaking most people who are counting calories already know that when something is fried it has more calories than that plate of steamed vegetables.
But counting on counting calories to lose weight? Not for me. I did it for years and it doesn't work! For me it was such a negative focus and it became about math...how many calories am I eating and how much exercise do I have to do to burn that off? No thanks!
But here's another reason why counting calories doesn't work--they lie about the calorie content! Who is checking the labels?
Recently a study was conducted of a variety of well-known chain restaurants...looking at the calories they claimed were in their foods and how many they contained. Surprise! They actual count averaged almost 20% higher than what was advertised!
Think you can count on the frozen foods from big name "diet" labels like South Beach Living, Healthy Choice. Think again. Even Lean Cuisine and Weight Watchers fell short when it came to accuracy in numbers--they all had on average 8% more calories than claimed.
Is this because of some plot to keep us fat? Probably not. Experts recognize that there are variations in testing methods and small changes in portions and also the human factor...you might actually get an extra dollop of mayo on your meal for example.
So is it a waste of time reading the nutritional content when we look at labels or go to restaurants? No! It might be the only thing that gives you a clue that there are "hidden" ingredients in the meal...it can give you a general comparative value...just don't believe that it is 100% accurate.
Bottom line--don't count calories. Be aware that some foods have enough calories to meet your minimum daily requirement...but losing weight is not about math...it starts with your mind!
Monday, January 4, 2010
Self Acceptance Leads to Weight Loss
If you want to lose weight then you have to start by accepting where you are today.
Lots of people have a misconception about what self-acceptance means. They think...or fear...that by accepting themselves as they are they are actually saying they don't want to change.
That's not it at all.
Think of your body as a scientist would who is studying it. They would be detached. They would observe but not criticize or judge it.
By accepting yourself you release judgment. You let go in your head. This letting go in your head is what then sets you up to let go in the body.
This is simple, but it isn't easy. After all we have lots of years of practice at NOT accepting ourselves. So start today. Cut yourself a little slack. Observe where you are. Take stock. But don't beat yourself up over it.
After all, you've probably beat yourself up over your weight in the past...and where did that get you? So try something new and see how that works for you.
It worked for me!
Lots of people have a misconception about what self-acceptance means. They think...or fear...that by accepting themselves as they are they are actually saying they don't want to change.
That's not it at all.
Think of your body as a scientist would who is studying it. They would be detached. They would observe but not criticize or judge it.
By accepting yourself you release judgment. You let go in your head. This letting go in your head is what then sets you up to let go in the body.
This is simple, but it isn't easy. After all we have lots of years of practice at NOT accepting ourselves. So start today. Cut yourself a little slack. Observe where you are. Take stock. But don't beat yourself up over it.
After all, you've probably beat yourself up over your weight in the past...and where did that get you? So try something new and see how that works for you.
It worked for me!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Your Mindset and Weight Loss - Condition yourself to Lose Weight
This post comes from James Stein--I know you've heard me say that affirmations and mind set are important, well crucial to achieving weight loss success...but I thought you just might be interested to know that I'm not the only one. I've been reading many others who are also learning this "secret"...I thought James wrote it really well.
Happy New Year everyone--and enjoy James' take:
You can condition yourself to help shed those pounds away. As you probably already know many diet products on the market do not work. But there is more to weight loss than just eating a well balanced meal and exercising properly everyday. A surprising fact that you will not see these diet programs advertise is that your mindset makes a huge difference on success or failure.
When you constantly visualize in your mind what your body will look like with 10 - 20 - or more pounds shed away, then your subconscious will begin to take over and move you in that direction. You will soon become more positive about how your body looks, more accepting to dieting or exercising, and you will reach your ideal weight quickly and more easily.
If you ever wanted to learn to true secrets to losing weight than you have just learned that. When you condition yourself to be focused and positive on any goal you set then you will always be successful. This is true not only with weight loss but with everything you do in your life, including running a business. If you truly want to lose those extra pounds then condition your mindset and you will have the body you always dreamed of.
Many of those that are overweight tend to have the belief that they simply can not lose weight. Sometimes these people may say it out loud or even worse hear friends tell them they can't lose the weight. When you are around people that have a negative impact on you then it is best to stay away from those people because this can also effect your subconscious.
Staying around these people with negative attitudes can cause you to actually believe what they are saying. Negativity can have the reverse effect of the goal that you want to achieve because your mind after awhile will be conditioned that you can't lose that weight. By separating yourself from these people you will be able to gain control over your mindset and keep a positive attitude towards your goal.
It is important to practice the conditioning of your mindset every day - morning and evening. Find a quite place in your home away from all distractions and close your eyes to visualize yourself at your ideal weight. Focus on this and tell yourself in your mind that you will reach your goals and you are going to think positive. Doing this several times throughout the day will greatly increase your chance of obtaining your goal.
During the day while you are not in your quite place you still want to think positive thoughts and think of yourself at your ideal weight. Create your own affirmations and repeat them often, always in the present tense "I am glad to be fit and slender". Notice affirmations should say "I am" and not "I will". You can enjoy the feeling of having a positive self-image.
While your weight loss will of course be gradual, conditioning your mindset along with using proper weight loss tips will give you the success you want to achieve..
Happy New Year everyone--and enjoy James' take:
You can condition yourself to help shed those pounds away. As you probably already know many diet products on the market do not work. But there is more to weight loss than just eating a well balanced meal and exercising properly everyday. A surprising fact that you will not see these diet programs advertise is that your mindset makes a huge difference on success or failure.
When you constantly visualize in your mind what your body will look like with 10 - 20 - or more pounds shed away, then your subconscious will begin to take over and move you in that direction. You will soon become more positive about how your body looks, more accepting to dieting or exercising, and you will reach your ideal weight quickly and more easily.
If you ever wanted to learn to true secrets to losing weight than you have just learned that. When you condition yourself to be focused and positive on any goal you set then you will always be successful. This is true not only with weight loss but with everything you do in your life, including running a business. If you truly want to lose those extra pounds then condition your mindset and you will have the body you always dreamed of.
Many of those that are overweight tend to have the belief that they simply can not lose weight. Sometimes these people may say it out loud or even worse hear friends tell them they can't lose the weight. When you are around people that have a negative impact on you then it is best to stay away from those people because this can also effect your subconscious.
Staying around these people with negative attitudes can cause you to actually believe what they are saying. Negativity can have the reverse effect of the goal that you want to achieve because your mind after awhile will be conditioned that you can't lose that weight. By separating yourself from these people you will be able to gain control over your mindset and keep a positive attitude towards your goal.
It is important to practice the conditioning of your mindset every day - morning and evening. Find a quite place in your home away from all distractions and close your eyes to visualize yourself at your ideal weight. Focus on this and tell yourself in your mind that you will reach your goals and you are going to think positive. Doing this several times throughout the day will greatly increase your chance of obtaining your goal.
During the day while you are not in your quite place you still want to think positive thoughts and think of yourself at your ideal weight. Create your own affirmations and repeat them often, always in the present tense "I am glad to be fit and slender". Notice affirmations should say "I am" and not "I will". You can enjoy the feeling of having a positive self-image.
While your weight loss will of course be gradual, conditioning your mindset along with using proper weight loss tips will give you the success you want to achieve..
Monday, December 28, 2009
Stop Comparing: Weight Loss Tip for New Year
It is really common for us to compare ourselves to others. We are encouraged to from a very early age. Some of it is through subtle messages and other times it is shouted in our faces.
Whether quiet or loud, these messages that we are not enough...that we must be better than or we are less than...these messages are internalized and we take them on as our own.
Women in particular are subject to the body image comparisons...not being pretty enough or thin enough are probably the two most common.
No one benefits from these comparisons...by comparing ourselves we are making someone wrong...and based on the experiences of most of the women I know, the person who is wrong is usually US!
Even when we are trying to better ourselves we compare...if we want to lose weight we compare our numbers to everyone else's...we beat ourselves up if we do it slower than someone else...or if we don't have as big a result.
Instead, let's focus on what we want to achieve...we want to improve our health. How does that feel? What does that look like for you? Not what does it look like for your sister, your mother, your best friend or the super model in the magazine at the check out stand--YOU. What will you be able to do that is a challenge now? How will that feel when you can do that?
Now, visualize yourself doing that...feel how happy you are in accomplishing this goal...see yourself celebrating the accomplishment.
That is what this is about. Focus on you, your success. Measure your success against your desires and your goals--and forget what anyone else is doing!
Whether quiet or loud, these messages that we are not enough...that we must be better than or we are less than...these messages are internalized and we take them on as our own.
Women in particular are subject to the body image comparisons...not being pretty enough or thin enough are probably the two most common.
No one benefits from these comparisons...by comparing ourselves we are making someone wrong...and based on the experiences of most of the women I know, the person who is wrong is usually US!
Even when we are trying to better ourselves we compare...if we want to lose weight we compare our numbers to everyone else's...we beat ourselves up if we do it slower than someone else...or if we don't have as big a result.
Instead, let's focus on what we want to achieve...we want to improve our health. How does that feel? What does that look like for you? Not what does it look like for your sister, your mother, your best friend or the super model in the magazine at the check out stand--YOU. What will you be able to do that is a challenge now? How will that feel when you can do that?
Now, visualize yourself doing that...feel how happy you are in accomplishing this goal...see yourself celebrating the accomplishment.
That is what this is about. Focus on you, your success. Measure your success against your desires and your goals--and forget what anyone else is doing!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
