Weight Loss Success Despite No to Workout (or Desire to!)

Some days on my weight loss success journey are harder than others. And sometimes the idea of working out exhausts me. When that happens, I ask myself a question before moving on.

Could this "exhaustion" be mental or emotional rather than physical? If I wasn't exhausted before the idea of a workout then the answer is almost always "YES!"

Rather than appealing to my intellect with all kinds of facts about how exercise will actually energize me, or if I want to be healthy I have to move my body (all true), I fight fire with fire--I go for an emotional response.

No, I don't yell or cry, cajole or beg, but I apply my '1 jumping jack approach.' Somedays, it is literally,

"OK, so just do 1 and if you are still exhausted you can quit"

...and somedays I repeat "and 1 more...and 1 more...and 1 more" until I have completed a good healthy workout!

This morning part of me wanted to do my 15 minute routine, but another part of me clearly did not. 3 minutes in and that part was ready to quit. So I told myself "1 more set, then if you really want to stop, you can." Suddenly, I was at 10 minutes, so I said, "awesome! 2/3 of the way there, you can do 5 more minutes!" And I did. :-)

This journey to health and permanent weight loss success is not a straight line. Sometimes we have to learn how to maneuver our hearts and minds, as well as our bodies, along the path.

Weight Loss Success Resolutions for 2012

Resolutions are not really my thing. They remind me too much of diets--which are definitely not my thing! That being said, so many people believe in resolutions and that the best thing to drop unwanted pounds is to write resolutions for weight loss success I decided to give it a go.

I actually made 12 weight loss success resolutions. Seems like an appropriate number for 2012. I know that by following these resolutions my health will be better.

I divided my resolutions into 3 categories with the most important category being having the right mindset for weight loss, followed by resolutions for moving my body in order to have weight loss success and finally (and arguably least important) resolutions about what goes into my mouth.

But don't look for a list of specific exercises I will do, or a list of foods I will eat, or a list of foods to avoid. All of my resolutions deal with attitude, because I know that my positive attitude is much more important for my weight loss success than following a litany of rules and regulations about how much/when/where I will exercise or eat.

If you want to read the full resolutions, you can hop over to my main site RefuseToDiet.com.

I'd love to hear about your weight loss success resolutions--or if you didn't make any resolutions I'd love to hear what your thoughts are about them and how your weight loss journey is going!

To a healthy, happy New Year!

Measuring Weight Loss Success

I know I've said this before, but it is important to repeat because it really goes against what so many people think/believe about achieving weight loss success.

Do not measure your weight loss success by the number on the scale!

At least, not entirely.

I know how gratifying it can be to see the number on the scale drop when our goal is to lose weight. I also know how frustrating it can be to have the number hover, drop just a little, or even go up when we are doing "everything right," making healthy choices about eating, exercise and working on our mindset.

Truth is, sometimes you are redistributing your weight. So the scale won't show any difference or not enough difference in the "right" direction.

This is why we have to change our mindset about losing weight successfully--it is not just about dropping pounds. Our mindset must shift to one of gaining health.

My friend Cathy was telling me how frustrated she was. She looked in the mirror and couldn't see any improvement. (2 issues there, but that's a different story.) And she was working out and making healthy food choices and she "only" lost 1 pound in the last week.

Of course I could lecture forever about 1 pound is a very healthy weight loss rate in a week (isn't that what the experts tell us) but when we want to drop weight it just doesn't feel satisfactory at all.

What Cathy did next though was a great way to shift her mindset. She decided to try on clothes that she couldn't get on last month.

Guess what? They fit! Even though she hadn't lost a lot of pounds, her efforts ARE paying off. Not only is she actually getting smaller, she is much more fit than she was a month ago.

Objective measures of weight loss are tools...but we must use several different tools because any one by itself does not reveal the entire picture.

Keep taking the steps to achieve health and your weight loss success is guaranteed!

1. Love & accept yourself where you are right now
2. Shift your mindset about weight loss
3. Eat consciously
4. Get up and move every day

To the healthy, energetic, slender bodies we deserve!

Stress: Weight Loss Challenge #1

The biggest weight loss challenge in my books is stress.

Why stress?

Stress leads to

• Unconscious eating
• Emotional eating
• Holding onto weight
• Fatigue
• Feeling out of control
• Physical illness

Many of these things are intertwined so you may feel fatigue and overeat to help give your body energy, or you may feel overwhelmed and eat to calm your emotions.

Not all stress is "negative" or "bad." We cannot live a completely stress-free life. Some very happy events can be quite stressful--but that doesn't mean we want to forgo the experience.

Examples of "happy", "positive" or "good" stress:

• Weddings (or yourself, your child or a good friend)
• Birth of a child
• Starting a new job
• Going on an exciting trip
• Returning to school

There are of course many other types of positive stress, but you get the idea. These events are some of the things that make life sweet, so we don't want to avoid them.

But as sweet as the events are, sometimes we react to the stress in an unhealthy way--like overeating.

So stress itself is not actually bad for us...it is the way we choose to react to that stress. This is part of the challenge of shifting our mindset for weight loss.

The trick then is to react to stress in a healthy way--whether the stress is a "positive" or "negative" event.

I have been reminded over and over again in my own life that I have a deep pattern (aka "a rut") that I have carved out over the years of turning to food when I feel stressed. Even today I hear the voice in my head say, "ice cream--you can have it, you'll feel better."

The truth is while I am eating the ice cream I may temporarily divert my attention from the stressful event if I allow myself to focus entirely on the ice cream. This is super conscious eating...knowing that it is a temporary diversion and choosing to enjoy the ice cream.

OK, that can work, but...

1. if I grab the ice cream and am thinking about the stressful event or just stuffing the food down my throat without enjoying it then I am not reducing my stress
2. if I beat myself up afterwards, then I am just adding to my stress, so it backfires.
3. if I get upset later that I'm not successfully losing weight (presuming that is my goal) then I have not really done myself a service.
4. the stressor is still there and now I have just added to my habit of eating for emotional reasons which doesn't serve me in the long-run either
   

On the other hand if I want to temporarily divert my attention from the stressful situation by playing with the dog, driving in the country and enjoying the scenery, playing a game on the computer, walking around the block, meditating, listening to music or any number of other things, I have achieved the diversion without adding sugar/calories/poor food choices to my day and I have taken a step at digging myself out of my unhealthy rut.

Since stress--all by itself--can cause us to hold onto our body fat (look, I can't explain why this is...but it is probably some survival of the fittest thing...I just know from personal experience it happens) we deserve to then minimize our unhealthy choices when we are under stress.

By making unhealthy eating choices--that can be over eating and also restrictive dieting--we add more stress to our bodies.

Making healthy choices and eating well-balanced foods that fuel our bodies and our brains and moving our bodies to keep all the blood and oxygen flowing we reduce our stress.

And by meditating we also reduce our stress. Meditations can be formal, focus on your breathing types of things or they can be walking and focusing on the surroundings. Meditation is simply quieting the mind chatter.

Try a variety of things to reduce your mind chatter and make healthy choices about food and moving your body and you will reduce the negative effects of stress on your body. The result will be greater weight loss success and overall health and wellness.

If you'd like to try meditation but are not sure where to start, take a look at some of these resources as a starting place.

Who You Calling a Fool About Weight Loss Success

Got an interesting comment on my post "Carbs Cause Obesity?" which was in response to a comment from a reader...since the first comment was anonymous and the 2nd was not, and given the difference in the tone in the two comments leads me to presume that they were from 2 different readers.

In this post, the reader, signed "Donnelly" questions the validity of mindset in weight loss success. While I think Donnelly could have been more polite in questioning my position, and it is quite obvious that s/he hasn't really read much of my blog by the statements, I wanted to respond because there is a very common misconception about losing weight and mindset out there. So here goes an explanation in brief...

Sure, what we put into our bodies and how much we move our bodies has an effect on our physical condition, including weight. However, it isn't simply math...different types of foods are used by our bodies in different ways so it is important that we eat a variety of healthy foods to fuel our brains, our muscles and the rest of our bodies.

Many of us know what we are supposed to eat...we know that eating too much saturated fat isn't great for our heart or our hips...we know that we should eat more fresh fruits and vegetables...we also know that we must get up and move our bodies if we want to be healthy...and yet we don't do it...and sometimes when we DO eat properly and move our bodies we STILL don't successfully lose weight. Why is that?

This is where mindset comes in. And contrary to what Donnelly thinks, this is not me "parroting back the propagandized misinformation that big Agra has indoctrinated you with"--this is my personal experience, having spent most of my life on a diet and not successfully losing weight, feeling bad about my body and myself, feeling like I was a personal failure because I wasn't a size 2 or 6 or 10...

I have found (and have written about in my book) that we will actually retain fat, even if we are doing things "right" if our mindset is such that we believe we are fat, believe we don't deserve to be healthy. On top of that, with this mindset we will find it harder to stick to our healthy choices; we will sabotage our own efforts. Our minds are incredibly powerful and they will do whatever necessary to prove the beliefs we hold strongest are true.

That is why diets don't work...they are short term solutions that address symptoms rather than taking on the REAL issue.

If you don't know that it is healthier to choose an apple over an ice cream cone, then it is important to educate yourself. But if you have struggled for years with your weight even though you know some nutritional basics (you don't have to be an expert, by the way!) then I believe there is an underlying EMOTIONAL component that you need to address.

On top of all this, we are hit with messages about how hard it is to lose weight, especially if you are over 40. We're told on a daily basis that we MUST be thin and at the same time that it is next to impossible to get there! That's just not right--and it isn't true, either!

We must look at what we are currently eating and WHY, and first work on changing our mindset not slashing calories or carbs or fat grams or slaving at the gym. If we don't change the FEELINGS behind the eating and understand why we want to lose weight then we will not keep it off, but we will be doomed to a roller coaster of dieting the rest of our lives until we finally give up.

I know how hard it is to change...but if we focus on changing our mindset about weight loss and learn to believe WE CAN LOSE WEIGHT no matter our past experience, our age, our genetics. I teach about this and know that by making SMALL changes we will get permanent results...but it starts with what you are putting in your MIND not your mouth!

Don't let people like Donnelly bully you into believing that you are a failure or a fool. We are not talking about "mindset alone"...but the truth is that mindset alone will get you a lot further on your weight loss journey to permanent results than any diet.

And if you don't believe that Donnelly, look up placebo effect and you will learn just how powerful the mind can be.

Vegan Equals Healthy Weight Loss Success?

With movies like Food, Inc and Ellen and Oprah both featuring shows on veganism, many people come to believe that being a vegan is inherently more healthy and will lead to weight loss success. While going vegan, or vegan-ish as Oprah has said she is moving, is certainly one option, it is not the only option and may not be the best choice for you.

The most important thing to understand is the definition of "vegan." Veganism is a form of vegetarianism, but one with a more narrow focus. Interestingly, the precise definition varies depending on the source, but most seem to define vegan as a person who chooses not to use animal products in their lives. This is the most strict sense of vegan and includes foods you eat as well as items made from animal hides and furs and things that are testing on animals (typically done as part of "safety" testing.) Therefore the strictest vegans would not use leather, not in the seats of their cars nor in their shoes, belts and bags.

However you can also be a "dietary vegan" and decide that it is okay to wear wool even though it comes from sheep.

Going from a typical American diet to a vegan diet and lifestyle requires a huge shift in mindset as well as taking time to educate yourself on nutrition, learning how to buy and cook differently. That is not a bad thing...just something that does take time and retraining.

If you are looking to lose weight successfully then this could be a great time to try going vegan since you will be changing habits anyway. For some people it is too much and it is better to take things in smaller steps.

That is what I suggest for most people. Start by learning more about nutrition. Choose one day a week to have no animal products in your diet (or try vegetarian meals instead of vegan.)

Do NOT just go out and buy a bunch of food products at the store just because they are labeled "vegan" and assume that you will lose weight. Did you notice that while a lot of pounds were lost on the Harpo challenge (Oprah's studio where almost 400 staffers pledged to go vegan for a week) some people actually GAINED weight?

This is possible because going vegan does not mean healthy. It just means no animal products. So this may be "healthier" it does not mean that it is inherently the best choice if you are wanting to drop pounds.

One of the reasons many people lose weight on a vegan diet is because of the emphasis on plant-based diet.More vegetables, complex carbohydrates, protein in the form of beans and legumes. Eating this way can be more filling and lower calorie per mouthful than eating an animal based diet. Because you are eating things that make you feel more full while the caloric density is lower you are eating fewer calories. Without making any other changes in your lifestyle then chances are really good you will lose weight. Which is good, because this plant-based diet requires a mindset shift and as I mentioned earlier, more work on educating yourself.

So why didn't everyone lose weight?

Not everyone lost weight because there are lots of high calorie vegan foods out there as well. If all you do is substitute your current diet with vegan versions of the same food you are probably not going to lose weight. There is vegan frozen dessert that substitutes for ice cream, for example, that is loaded with sugar and fats just like the original. There are vegan chips, which are prepared using vegetable oil but are not lower in calories. Also, if you go for the prepared meat-substitutes you have to read the labels to see what they are putting in them and how much you get per serving. I picked up one package at the store that was 7 ounces and that is 2 servings. While a 3.5 ounce serving of meat is also appropriate, if you are accustomed to eating a 16 ounce sirloin and you want to switch it for vegan alternatives you may not lose weight (but you will definitely lighten your wallet!)

There are still people who want to become a vegan--that's an awesome goal and one that I support if that is where you heart is telling you to go.

However, the key to weight loss success is to make a radical shift in your mindset not your diet! Decide to focus on your health. Decide that you CAN lose weight and that you DESERVE TO. The same mindset shift has to take place for you to lose weight and keep it off whether you are a vegan or a meat eater.

Then make small changes to your current lifestyle. Make changes that you can and will keep. Then when those changes are incorporated into your life you can make more.

Will this get you to drop 10 pounds in a week? Probably not. But it will allow you to successfully lose weight over time until you reach a weight that is healthy for you. It will also allow you to live your life and not feel like you are a slave to counting calories (vegan or otherwise.) And then you will look back in amazement at the changes in your body and find it hard to believe that you accomplished so much so easily.

Tap Tap Tap for Weight Loss Success

Being a stone sculptor, I LOVE this quote...the analogy is so appropriate for weight loss success.

When nothing seems to help, I go look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it, but all that had gone before.

~Jacob Riis, Danish born American b 1849

We must keep chipping away at our efforts even though sometimes we don't see any results, knowing that our weight loss success will come as a result of all our activities. Sometimes we will see a big result, like the rock splitting in two, only after repeatedly taking what seems to be the tiniest of actions.

It is not a big blow that creates a sculpture, it is a series of little ones. A big blow creates a fracture in the stone and will not result in the desired outcome. A big blow is like a crash diet...it just won't give us the result we want in the long run.

Using the correct tools is a critical part to this. I can beat my bare fist against a rock every minute of every day for the rest of my life and it will not become a sculpture. However when I put a chisel in one hand and hammer in the other I can create a work of art.

The same is true with our bodies. With simple tools, used repeatedly we can create our healthy, energetic and slender bodies. Our tools are our minds, our mouths (nutrition), and moving our bodies.

I wasn't born knowing how to sculpt, how to use the tools. Similarly we may not know how to pick out the tools for our weight loss success. We will have more rapid success if we learn from someone who has already been there. I didn't learn to sculpt by studying with a painter. I didn't learn to be healthy by studying with a junk food eater. We must surround ourselves with teachers and compatriots who have the experience and shared goal in order to maximize our results.

Write Your Own Weight Loss Success Story

I've had this on my fridge for a while because it is so powerful...whenever I read it I am reminded to take control of my life. This little quote helps shift my mindset about weight loss, keeps me positive and is a great tool for life improvement in all areas.

Most of us live our lives as if we're watching a movie--one that someone else is writing, producing, and directing. We sit back with our popcorn and Jujubes and say, "I wonder how this will turn out?"...Well, guess what? The answer lies with you. You're Sam Goldwyn. You're in charge.

~From Between Trapezes, by Gail Blanke

Maybe this quote from Blanke inspires you to take control of your life in the area of health and fitness. I love the popcorn and Jujubes line...how many times have I sat on the couch drowning myself and my sorrows in a pint of Ben of Jerry's (or two) and wondered when I would become fit and healthy!

Maybe Blanke will inspire you to take control of your life in another area. Maybe it is your professional life that needs to shift. Perhaps your love life could use a rewrite.

No matter where you would like to have an improved life experience it is up to us to take the steps to achieve it.

First we must know what we want to achieve. This is a bit like watching a movie...we must be able to see what we want.

We must believe that it is possible to achieve it.

We must believe that it is possible for US to achieve it. (Very important step!) Still the movie...we visualize that we are achieving it.

Then we focus on the improved result and we take steps to achieve it. Visualizing is great, but visualizing ourselves fit and healthy isn't going to happen if we never get off the couch, never make any changes to our eating habits.

Then we keep focusing on the new result and keep taking those steps, not looking back at what we had or didn't have, not looking at what we have or don't have now. Have confidence that as you move forward and make the steps in the right direction the result WILL come...you don't have to keep checking, looking for it, evaluating your success or not.

Finally we receive it and celebrate and express our gratitude!

Why Weight Loss Resolutions Suck

I know a lot of people swear by resolutions, but personally I just don't think they really work. Especially not for losing weight successfully...in fact, I think they suck.

Look, we all want to set and achieve goals. We're taught that to get ahead in life--at anything--that we have to have goals. But goals and resolutions are not the same thing.

Goals are specific. They are measurable. They are attainable. They are realistic. Sure, they may push you beyond your comfort zone, but you have to be able to reach a goal if it is to be valid--at least according to every goal-setting guru I've ever talked to or read.

Resolutions however tend to be some lofty ideal that we think of as a goal. They may be measurable, but they are typically pretty general and are usually not realistically attainable. They are just too huge and often they are all or nothing type deals.

A typical weight loss resolution will be something like this:

I resolve to stop eating junk food.

Or like this:

I resolve to exercise every day.

I'm not saying these are not admirable intentions, but come on, let's get real. Sure we would all be better off if we didn't eat junk food and we exercised daily. But the way these resolutions read if we eat junk food ONCE we have mucked up the works, so we might as well throw in the towel. We will actually self-sabotage ourselves with these kinds of resolutions if we haven't addressed why we are overweight in the first place.

So we break the resolution. We break the resolution because it is too strict, too limiting and it doesn't allow us to be human! Instead of recognizing that though we use it as an opportunity to criticize ourselves. We end up feeling bad about ourselves and go right back to our unhealthy, pre-resolution life and consider ourselves a failure, again.

Throw away the resolutions! Instead be more gently on yourself and let aim for improving your health. This gives you some leeway and allows you to be successful every day!

Improving your health means making more healthy choices than non-healthy ones.It means learning about your weight loss mindset--why you have gotten overweight and why you have struggled to lose weight. It means learning something about nutrition that you didn't before. It means moving your body more than you did before--even just a little bit. Improving your health means caring enough about yourself to treat your body and your spirit in a loving way--no more beating up on yourself for not being a size 2.

I guess if I'm going to have a resolution this year, it is to no longer make resolutions. Oops, guess I broke it...but at least it isn't something I have to feel guilty about!

Weight Loss Success Killer: 1 Little Word

There is one little word that will kill any attempts to successfully lose weight. It probably isn’t the word you are thinking about. It isn’t “fat” or “sugar”…those are real things…this word can’t even claim that space in reality. This word lives completely in our minds.

Any guesses now? “Can’t”…not the word I’m thinking of, but it is another killer. But “can’t” speaks to our belief in our ability while the word I’m referring to speaks to the reason behind our efforts...our mindset about weight loss.

The word that we must eliminate from our vocabulary in order to permanently and healthfully experience weight loss success is “should.”

As Louise Hay tells it, the word “should” is always about making us wrong. We were wrong in the past, as in, “I should have exercised yesterday” or “I should not have eaten that cookie.” Or we are wrong now, as in, “I should lose weight because my doctor says I’m unhealthy” or “I should get out and walk but I don’t feel like it.” Or we make ourselves wrong in the future, as in, “I should set a goal to run that marathon in June” or “I should be at my goal weight by my wedding.”

It seems that we “should” all over ourselves…and it really doesn’t help in the long-run. Oh sometimes we can motivate (or intimidate) ourselves for a while with “should” and “should not” but it rarely sticks.

The reason is that “should” never springs from internal love and desire. Should always comes from an external focus. Even if we are the ones imposing the “should” (and we almost always are) it stems from the idea that we are not good enough, that we must fit someone else’s perception…that we must somehow be different.

In order to achieve weight loss success that lasts beyond the honeymoon we must have the internal desire that comes from loving ourselves. And that includes loving ourselves right now, as we are, fat and all! By loving and accepting ourselves and being appreciative of our current selves we are then opening ourselves up to an even “better”, healthier version in the future.

So as you are thinking about the New Year’s Resolutions you are going to set for yourself, delete any that start with “should” or “should not.” Instead, sit quietly and look at what your real motivation to lose weight is and focus on that. When you have a heart-felt motivation it will prove much stronger than any externally driven “should” and it will see you through challenges that you may face in the future and you will literally lose weight through positive thinking!

Weight Loss Tip: It's a Brand New Day

To really have permanent weight loss it is important to look at each day as a brand new starting point. This shift in your mindset can make a HUGE difference in your success.

The habit that most of us have developed is to condemn ourselves when we go off our eating and exercise plan--when we "fall off the wagon" as it were. We criticize ourselves instead of recognizing that we just don't have to be perfect. And we criticize and criticize until we feel like complete failures...and then what do we do? We eat to feel better! We medicate ourselves with food.

This is the vicious circle we have created for ourselves over the years...and it is one of the reasons that diets don't work!

Diets are temporary...and sadly, the results from dieting are usually also temporary. To create lasting results we have to look at our process in the long-run.

You cannot change what you did in the past. You can't "uneat" the foods you consumed, nor can you exercise now for days you missed last week or month or year. The only thing you have any control over at all is this minute, right now.

Did you blink? Well, then that minute is gone, so you have control over this one...now this one...now this one.

Since you cannot change what was done in the past then berating yourself for it really is pointless. Let's look at what we CAN change--that fleeting moment that is "now."

Every day we wake up to a clean slate. Every day we can strive to make the healthiest choices possible in that moment. Depriving ourselves today because we overate yesterday is not the healthiest choice. Neither is overeating today because we "slipped up" yesterday.

Today is totally independent of what we did yesterday and what we may do tomorrow. Focus only on right now and ANYTHING is possible!

Accept that you overate and recognize that action was in the past. Every action in the past got us to where we are today. If we want to be in a different place next year, a healthier body for example, then we must change our actions right now. If we make small changes and regularly apply those changes until they are habits then we MUST be different in the future!

Notice I said "regularly" and not "perfectly" or "daily." It is NOT necessary to be "perfect"...if is important to be balanced and realistic about what you will eat and do. That is why I encourage you to start with super small steps and get used to those.

Following this logic of every day being a clean slate and that you only have control over the current moment, you may have surmised that every moment is also brand new! How liberating is that! You can choose to have control right NOW even if a minute ago you ate more than you intended! You don't have to wait for the new day for the clean slate--you can erase it right this instant if you choose to.

So instead of saying "I ate 5 Gingerbread men so I might as well eat the entire Yule Log too" remind yourself that you are human and that you can start over, "I ate 5 Gingerbread men but that is in the past and I am choosing in this instant to make healthy choices...honestly, I am so full I would not enjoy eating the Yule Log right now so I am going to pass."

When you can make this mindset adjustment then you WILL have weight loss success!

Accept this Gift for Permanent Weight Loss

Most of the people I meet who are trying to lose weight do not have a very high opinion of themselves, and certainly not of their bodies. When asked what is wrong with them, the response is generally first a look that seems to scream, "Are you kidding??? Isn't it obvious?" and then they will recount the many faults they see as a result of not being the "proper" weight...their thighs, double chin, flabby arms, cellulite, muffin top and on and on.

I believe that we must first learn to embrace our beauty--as we are (fat faults and all)--in order to achieve a satisfying, successful and permanent weight loss.

Underneath our criticism of our bodies due to our weight is really a dissatisfaction with our bodies in general that no amount of weight loss will fix.

Somehow, most women have absorbed this idea that beauty looks a specific way. In other cultures, beauty may be marked by attributes that we find odd. As an aside, if you didn't see Jessica Simpson's series on beauty, it is worth watching as she explores this very concept.

As our world becomes more homogenized these concepts of beauty may begin to meld into one accepted definition of beauty, which I find rather sad. Truth is, "beauty" is merely a concept, an idea. Beauty is not a thing and it is not even a specific look...otherwise it would be identical everywhere.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is an idea that has been expressed in writing since at least the 3rd century BC. It is true today, yet somehow we have chosen to allow someone else's vision of what is beautiful obscure our own.

This is the great disservice that beauty pageants do to our young women. We are taught from an early age that if we do not conform to a specific body type we are not beautiful. We are taught if we are too old, or too young, to be eligible for a pageant that we cannot possibly be beautiful. Thus girls and women of all ages and body types struggle to fit this single model.

I recognized at an early age there was no way I would be able to compete in a beauty pageant. My bones and musculature just didn't fit the mold. I was too short and too heavy to be beautiful. Even when I wasn't fat, I couldn't accept that I was not. After all, I weighed more and was shorter than the Miss America crowd, therefore I must be fat. In my young mind that was the only explanation!

Whether you are naturally pear shaped or have a build more suited to shot-putting than running track you do not fit this narrow mold of beauty.

Well, this mold deserves to be shattered, and shattering it is one of the best gifts you can give yourself! By breaking the mold, you free yourself to be the best person YOU can be, not limited by anyone else's preconceptions.

Accept that you are beautiful just as you are right now. Even if you are still overweight or out of shape. Even if you think your nose is too big or you don't like the shape of your butt. You do not have to love every single aspect of yourself...but you don't have to criticize them incessantly, either!

Beauty is the entire package, not just one part or even the sum of those parts. It certainly isn't a balance sheet where you list on one side all the best parts and on the other side all the weaknesses! Beauty starts with a belief in yourself, in your core being, which is much, much more than even our physical bodies--and waaaay more than what our physical body looks like!

Give yourself the gift of looking at yourself, including your body, in a new way. This may be the best holiday present you can possibly give yourself. If you've been well-practiced at judging your body against others then this won't be easy--it won't be a cheap gift...one that you ran to Walgreen's to buy. But then, the best gifts rarely are. It will be a gift that takes time, effort and consideration.

This is a gift that will keep giving to you for years to come. And ironically, as you learn to see the beauty in yourself as you are in this moment, you will find the path to a permanent weight loss--because you will have started the shift in your mindset regarding losing weight.

Happy Holidays!

Weight Loss Tools on Sale for the Holidays

Wanted to share the news--Hay House is having a sale on their Holiday Gift Catalog--items are as low as $1.

This sale is ONLY good online and through Dec 11 so don't wait too long to take advantage of awesome products from some of the biggest names of the day.

Some of products I use and highly recommend:

Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life--The Movie (2 DVD expanded Edition), normally $29.95, sale price $10

Abraham-Hicks, Law of Attraction series, set of 12 (including 2 brand new DVDs) $125, a savings of more than $100!!!

Brand New Items that I am excited to be ordering at a big savings:

Marianne Williamson's brand new "A Course in Weight Loss", book lists for $24.95, get it here for only $16.22 (CDs also available if you'd rather, list $29.95, only $19)

Louise Hay's "Experience Your Good Now!" $12.56 --that's 30% off for this hardcover with CD

Abraham-Hicks "Getting Into The Vortex" guided meditation (book and CD), list $24.95, here only $17.46

Other teachers that I love with books, CDs, DVDs, music, meditation, fun, personal development...for adults and kids, you or as for gifts (too many to list them all!!!)

Deepak Chopra
Doreen Virtue
Wayne Dyer
Dr. Christiane Northrup
Dr. Brian L. Weiss
Sylvia Browne
Byron Katie
Jorge Cruise
Joan Borysenko

Just click on the banner and you'll be taken directly to the catalog where you can get all these and so much more--but remember, these prices are only good through Dec 11!

Even Bees Are What They Eat

"Red" an interesting article today about bees...now I'm not much into bees but the headline got me

Bees turn red from cherry juice

Turns out a bunch of bees in New York have been sipping on runoff from a Maraschino Cherry plant and it is having an effect. The bees are turning red although whether the cherry juice is coating the bees or they are actually changing color from the inside out is not clear.

One thing that is for sure is the honey the bees are producing is actually red.

What is actually turning the bees and the honey red is not cherries, per se, but the Red Dye No. 40 that is used in the making of Maraschino Cherries.

Bees don't have very long lives, so the effect of what they drink shows up pretty quickly.

With people it takes longer. That can be the bad news--by the time the effects show up it might be too late to do anything about it. But it can also be the very good news! We have time to correct our behavior and change the outcome!

All it takes is small changes in our behavior to have a huge impact on our lives. Most of us look at the prospect of losing weight as, OMG I have to lose 25 pounds or 50 pounds or 100 pounds, or whatever is the total number of pounds we want to lose and figuring we have got to go on a massive diet--or it is so overwhelming why the heck should I bother? Instead, we deserve to shift our mindset about weight loss and look at the small steps. If we are conscious about our behavior and make small changes then we must achieve our weight loss goals!

For me, I'll pass on the Maraschino Cherries and the diet!

Lose Weight Over the Holidays? Yes I Can!

How many times have we heard (or said) that it is impossible to lose weight over the holidays?

Granted, if we look at it on the surface it would seem to be pretty darned hard. What with all the extra treats around. People are giving food, bringing it to the office, making special meals...and everything this time of year seems to be packaged with extra fat or sugar--or both.

So how does one lose weight over the holidays without coming across as the next big Grinch or feeling like we totally missed out?

The first step is to decide that it truly is possible. Yep, your attitude about it is crucial. As long as you say and believe that you cannot lose weight over the holidays, then believe me, there is no way that you will. Oh, you could starve yourself and have a slight dip but it won't last.

On the other hand, if you repeat often enough "It is possible to lose weight over the holidays" or better yet, "I can lose weight over the holidays" then you will actually begin to believe it. You will even start to see ways that make it possible and perhaps even easy!

Does this mean that you can eat gallons of ice cream covering plates of pies, platters of meats and cheeses and all the food you can possible stuff into your face? Well...I've never tried those affirmations!

What I do know is that when you start to believe that something is possible, it becomes possible. Maybe you end up eating less, while still enjoying your special holiday favorites--just in smaller quantities, or you end up moving your body more, or maybe your body processes the food more effectively...or maybe your focus is shifted off the food and put somewhere else. Don't really know the "how" at least not for everyone. For myself it seems to be a combination of all the above.

When I remind myself that it is possible to lose weight (or maintain weight) over the holidays...or at any time, for that matter...I become more aware of my health choices. I crave foods less. I move my body more. I'm certainly not dieting--they don't work anyway--I'm enjoying my favorite treats and even some that aren't my favorites. I know that when I have a positive attitude about losing weight then I am in control and life is just so much easier...and no one thinks I'm a party pooper either!

Here are some affirmations for losing weight over the holidays:

It is possible to lose weight over the holidays
My body craves foods that nourish it
I can enjoy holiday treats and still lose weight
I move my body and feel good
The holidays are a wonderful time to enjoy friends and family
I am loving and loveable and I feel great
My body sheds excess fat easily
I love this time of year because it sets me up for success for the new year
My body naturally reaches the weight that is healthy for it

I was reminded of this simple shift in thinking when I watched Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life again recently. You don't have to be "sick" to benefit from the film although people with a variety of illnesses have benefited from Louise's teachings. I used her affirmations and inspiration in my own 125 pound weight loss journey and so I totally recommend her book and film, but I'm partial to the film. I own and suggest the complete set that has the affirmation toolkit and extra interviews.

Happy Healthy Holidays to You!

Weight Loss Pledge: Making and Keeping It

Have you noticed we tend to make the pledge to lose weight at night (again? finally? once and for all? for real this time?)? Okay, maybe it is mid-afternoon...but it seems like we never pledge to lose weight early in the day. And when we do make the pledge we always want to start "tomorrow."

I figure we make the pledge to start the next morning because we want the fresh slate of a new day...or maybe because we want the head start not eating while we sleep gives us!

But how many mornings arrive where we find our resolve has vanished. Maybe we wake up hungry, or maybe it is something else.

My theory is we feel fatter later in the day. Our bellies distend a bit further from food not yet digested. We swell from water retained in our not properly flushed systems.

We wake feeling less bloated and gravity hasn't worked its black magic on us...weighing us down all day long yet. This can lead us to thinking that maybe our situation isn't really that bad. Poof, our best laid plans from the night before disappear on the cool morning air.

So why is it that there is an abundance of weight loss pledges made and so few kept? It has got to be more than the difference between evening and morning.

I believe one of the reasons the pledges slide away so easily is because the night before we were committing to a diet and all the negative connotations behind that word hidden by the shadows of darkness are strong in the light of day.

Instead of dieting, (we do know that diets don't work, right?) let's commit to Refusing to Diet.

And let's do it right now.

No matter what time it is. Don't say "tomorrow."

If you are feeling compelled to say "I really want to lose weight" then the time to start is NOW not in the morning. Not tomorrow. Not Monday. Not on the 1st. Not next year. It is NOW. This instant.

Because it isn't about a diet. It isn't about restricting yourself for chunks of time known as days or weeks or months. Losing weight successfully is about making small changes that you can live with--for a healthy lifetime.

So raise a big glass of water and toast to your health--from this moment:

I choose to regain my health and drop this excess weight. I Refuse to Diet and here's to my healthy, energetic, slender body--I deserve it!

Cheers to that!

A Course in Weight Loss for Less

If you are a fan of Marianne Williamson, then you might know about her new book "A Course in Weight Loss" which Oprah was touting on her show recently. I've learned it is available in book (hard cover only) and CD (6 CD set) formats.


List price for the book is $24.95, for the CDs $29.95

You can get the book here and save yourself $5, or get the CDs and save $6.

This is new stuff, so I haven't yet read or listened, but love Marianne's other works so I'm betting it is great. Plus, if Oprah likes it... ;-)

Happy Thanksgiving

Weight Loss Challenge: Swinging on a Moody Star

An important factor to our weight loss success...one that people often forget about or totally disregard...is our mood or mindset.

How we feel about ourselves, our bodies and even how we feel about food directly impacts our ability to lose weight.

It is extremely common to gain weight when we are feel depressed and to lose weight when we are happy. While that may be common, there are many people who gain weight when happy and, like my mother, lose weight when depressed. This demonstrates that there is no one "diet" or eating program that will work for everyone...not even in the same family. We all react differently to different foods, moods, exercise programs--everything!

If you are the type of person who, like me, tends to gain weight when depressed or stressed (or mad, or sad...or whatever) there is a way you can combat the trend!

Believe it or not, the real problem is not the food. If it were the food, you wouldn't be able to have it around ever...you'd eat it and gain weight all the time, not just when you are depressed. The problem is eating food in response to the emotion.

That is why substituting a lower calorie version of your favorite food or even substituting a healthy food doesn't solve the problem, because, I repeat, the problem is not the food...it isn't the calories.

By eating low-fat frozen yogurt in place of ice cream when depressed you are not changing the eating in response to emotion behavior. The behavior you changed was the one in the grocery store! Now, not only are you eating when depressed, you are probably less satisfied, but feeling deprived and yet martyr-like so you actually might eat MORE than before! Kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it?

Replacing the chips with carrot sticks doesn't work either. Sure it is a healthy food, but we are still reaching into the frig (or pantry) and stuffing down our problems, rather than reaching into our heads and hearts and working on the real issue.

Don't want to work on your "issues"...don't think you have any? Fine. Whether you are numbing your feelings with food or not, you are engaging in unconscious eating.

Instead of eating, come up with a list of things that you can do that will help you feel more joy without getting you into the vicious cycle of eating and then gaining weight and therefore feeling bad again...which makes you want to eat, etc!

Everyone's list will be different...mine includes enjoying the sunrise, spending time in my studio, reading, doing puzzles, going for a walk and enjoying the fresh air, riding in the country...it could be playing with animals, playing on a swing, listening to music...the list can go on.

Write down YOUR list and keep it on the frig or the pantry...wherever the food you tend to reach for is stored...to help you remember your goal and give you some choices. It totally puts you in control...rather than eating unconsciously you begin to eat thoughtfully and that makes all the difference.

Happiness vs Weight Loss and Fitness--Which Comes First?

Following up on yesterday's post about the link to happiness and weight loss success, I received a comment:

Being fit and attractive is a great benefit to your happiness.

While I don't exactly disagree with this...everything else being equal (which it isn't...but for the sake of argument...) of course we would be happier as fit and attractive people than if we are out of shape slobs...

The thing is, that being "fit and attractive" is no guarantee of happiness! Just ask the myriad of celebrities and models, considered to be among the most attractive how they feel. Being "attractive" is a completely subjective thing...and it doesn't really matter if other people find you attractive if you feel like you are anything but.

What I have learned is that when we are happy then we learn to love ourselves...all of us...include our limitations, "flaws", weaknesses, and yes, even our big noses and thighs and cellulite. When we can do that...scratch that...when we can BE that person...then we are attractive from the inside out. We take care of our bodies because we WANT to. We eat foods that nourish us, that give our bodies the energy, vitamins and minerals we need...AND the taste sensations that please us.

This creates a wonderful cycle...because by eating better and moving our bodies we set up a fantastic chemical reaction within our bodies and we feel better. We feel better so we care for our bodies. We care for our bodies and we feel better.

I've tried to use getting fit as my goal...saying that I would be happy when I lost "x" pounds (10 or 20 or 100...depending on where I was in my life.) But that never worked for me.

If you are not happy NOW the chances are you will not be happy "if/when." Instead IF you do lose the excess weight you will just find something else to be unhappy about.

If you decide to have a specific weight or size (or physical fitness level) be a requirement for you happiness then you are setting up yourself for a sad and sorry life. If you don't figure out why you are really unhappy you will just remain fat--as your safe excuse for being unhappy.

Instead of waiting for "xyz" event--make a choice to be happy now. Why miss out on the beautiful things life has to offer to you just because you aren't perfect? And why deprive the world of your light just because you don't see yourself as perfect?

My goal is to be the happy person first. I firmly believe that when I am happy and loving FIRST then I am healthy physically, mentally and emotionally. It doesn't mean that I never cry or get angry...it means that I accept myself as the imperfect human I am.

That acceptance of my imperfection is what, ironically, allows me to improve and become better each and every day. Or not!

And maybe, just maybe...by accepting myself right now I can help someone else in their journey to health and fitness and weight loss success!

Weight Loss Success and Happiness Linked

I graduated from Cal Poly San Luis Obispo back a few hundred years ago...and even then the city was a great place to live, work and study.

Today, SLO or "SLO Town" as we lovingly called it, is ranked the No. 1 city in the United States for overall emotional health. Not surprisingly, physical health also ranks high there as well, including low rates of obesity...some 9% points below the national average in fact!

Coincidence?

I think not.

Dan Buettner, author of The Blue Zones, a book that teaches us how to live longer, healthier lives, long touted by Dr. Oz, has a new book soon to be published entitled, Thrive. You can preorder the book through Random House by using this link. The book isn't actually available until Oct. 19, 2010.

In Thrive, Dan connects happiness to our health and fitness...and what may surprise some folks, connects art with happiness!

Being a sculptor myself, I find this as no surprise. Art has a way of tapping into our emotions, often without our conscious awareness of it. Looking at a sculpture or painting can bring our feelings of joy or anger...and artists have long used that ability in order to engage audiences and patrons.

In the book, Dan mentions the former mayor of SLO, Ken Schwartz, and that he likes to quote a Persian proverb:

If you have but two coins, use one for bread to feed the body and the other for hyacinths to feed the soul.

Dan continues that art is like flowers, that both feed the soul and claims that,

Happy people usually have access to art--painting, film, sculpture, theater, music--and live in places that are attractive to the eye.

It is a natural extension then, that if we want to be happy, healthy and more slender that we should take time to appreciate things that nourish our soul. What nourishes your soul? Are you energized or calmed when looking at flowers (hyacinth or other blooms)...the mountains or the sea? The grasslands? Beautiful trees reaching for the skies? Cloud-filled vistas? Or paintings or sculpture?

Or are you touched by listening to music? Poetry? Watching a theatrical performance? Film? A dance?

Beauty is, as the saying goes, in the eye of the beholder...but finding beauty around you and appreciating it is more than just a treat for the eye!

Just goes to prove my theory that weight loss is not just about what you put in your mouth, it is truly what you put into your mind and spirit.