I heard this phrase from Carrie Wilkerson, The Barefoot Executive, at a conference I attended. She was referring to how important it is to move around and meet new people at events...don’t just hang out with the people you came with or met the first day.
Well, this may also be something you have to face when you lose weight. If you have been treating food like a drug and abusing it then you may have to disengage from people who were part of that lifestyle.
I believe for most of us, it can be different with food than other drugs. It can be harder or easier...depending on how you choose to look at it!
It is possible to never have alcohol or narcotics or cigarettes again. You can cut them out of your life completely. Can’t do that with food! So there will be temptations and opportunities to overindulge every day.
This is why you HAVE to change your mind first. If you don’t, then you will have to struggle the rest of your life with the inner demons. I’d rather change my thinking and get those demons gone or at least corralled a bit and make it easier on myself later.
But here’s the deal...if you have “friends” that the only reason you socialize with them is because they are eating buddies...you know what I mean...you only get together over food, or you only talk about food or dieting with them...then you might need to drop those relationships, at least temporarily.
If the relationship is deeper than that and it can evolve—fantastic! But put your health, your life first! If you find one of your “friends” is always tempting you with food then maybe they aren’t your friend, really. Realize they have their own issues to deal with and you deal with yours and let them handle themselves.
When you really come from a place of wanting health (as opposed to getting to a certain size or weight) it will be a lot easier to not be tempted by food even when it is right in front of you. I like having the power to make choices about what I eat and if I want to have chocolate or ice cream or pizza I can have it. I am also now fine with being with my friends and family and choosing to not have these things.
When I was trying to diet that wasn’t the case. I was coming from a deprivation place then. I “couldn’t” have certain foods and therefore they were more appealing. The draw of the forbidden! That is one of the reasons I know it is important to allow myself to eat any food. I just know that I am best serving my health when I make conscious choices about what I am eating.
So if I am with friends and they are having a beer or chips (or chips and beer) they will offer it to me...I don’t want them to try to “help” me by not offering...and I have the freedom to say no or yes. Sometimes I will partake and other times I won’t...either way I think about it and determine what I really want at the moment. Do I really want the beer? Or do I want something wet and to enjoy the company of good friends?
Sunday, June 21, 2009
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