Friday, June 11, 2010

Fat Feet

I've always had fat...ummm, "wide"...feet. My mom likes to blame it on herself. Not her genes mind you. She says it is her fault because she let me run around barefoot as a kid. Like every other child had her feet bound in the ancient, crippling, Chinese tradition!

I seriously doubt I ran around barefoot any longer or earlier than most American kids...earlier and longer than some, later and shorter than others. Certainly not as long as a lot of kids in Africa and I don't remember ever seeing a video that talked about their having extraordinarily wide feet.

Really the only reason having wide feet is an issue is when it comes to shoes. So maybe it isn't my fat feet that are a is just that somebody decided we should NOT run around barefoot and made us wear shoes. Of course my Nordic ancestors were tough...but they'd have to be to walk around in all that snow and ice without shoes, so I guess I get the point of footwear.

Becoming obese does not help our lots of ways. Of course there is the added pressure on them, so they hurt a lot. That alone is a good reason to drop a few pounds. But what a lot of people don't think about...mostly because the change is that our feet get fat, too. boards got wider simply because I was fat.

You may be wondering how wide could her feet be, and why is this an issue. If you are a typical American female your feet are somewhere in the A-C width range. C being considered "wide" by many shoe manufacturers. Kind of like a size 12 dress is considered "large".

At my peak weight my feet measured EEE in width. Well, actually they were poured into EEE shoes...but that was the widest I could get "off the shelf" and even then I could only find shoes at a specialty store...and if I found shoes for under $100 I was ecstatic. Looking down at my feet I noticed they closely resembled squares. I could literally get half the number of shoes in my closet or suitcase as anyone else I knew. I generally limited myself to 1 extra pair of shoes on trips...and they practically filled their own suitcase.

I used to really begrudge my feet. Like the rest of my body. I found fault with them--just because they were fat, **ahem**, wide. Truth is, my feet are built like the rest of me...strong, broad, stocky. My bones are bigger around than most people my height...and my muscles are, too. I don't think there is a single thing that is delicate about my body.

I'm not being critical when I say this now. God knows that wasn't always the case. I longed to have legs that rose to meet my armpits, dainty digits that looked good sporting rings, and muscles that were strong, long, and seemed to come from no where instead of my obvious bulk.

What made the difference? I had an adviser at one point who, upon hearing me regale him with my body woes for no doubt the millionth time told me my body gave me a "firm understanding" that was a blessing.

That really got me thinking...and it is true...this body has always been sturdy, solid and anything but an easy pushover.

That moment wasn't complete magic...I didn't start to love my body without reservation...but it was a start. It was the first time I began to accept that my body was okay, just as it was, and that being different was not the same as being bad.

Now that I have dropped over 125 pounds my feet are no longer fat. Sure, they are still ***wide*** but they are definitely not fat! In fact, my feet now measure E and EE width (one foot is significantly wider than the other...maybe I hopped barefoot too much. That darned hopscotch!) OK, it still isn't easy to get shoes for these least I never developed a shoe fetish or a love of high heels. And thank goodness there are asexual shoe styles, my saving grace.

My firm understanding is still there...more solid and strong than ever...and a lot less painful. My feet are a reminder of how far I've come...and I think, maybe I'm ready to bequeath my EEEs to someone who needs them. Any takers?

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